Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Why Do People On The Rebound Make Bad Relationship Choices?

Do you know that many individuals who are coming out of an unhealthy relationship situation often find themselves quickly re-entering similar negative and often abusive relationships? Do you know that this pattern is largely driven by feelings of rejection, abandonment, low self worth, low self esteem, and a deep need to be/feel loved, feel wanted, secure, whole, complete, validated, wanted, needed, purposeful, fulfilled and so on? Do you know however that these needs are the main reason for the inability to make clear, discerning and healthy choices at such a vulnerable time? Finally, do you know that it is now possible to permanently and quickly heal the emotional pain that comes with the ending of a relationship, to restore one not only to a state of inner peace but to wholeness, emotional independence and self sufficiency from which point they can feel empowered, clear, discerning and fully able to make self respecting and healthy choices in a partner? Want to learn more?

Let's face it the end of a relationship is often very traumatic to an individual.

Not only do few ever really ever heal from such trauma, it is the traumatic memory of the experience itself that sets them up to make more bad relationship choices creating a growing and gaping "wound" of emotional pain, insecurity, neediness, worthlessness, mistrust and so on that can literally undermine the overall quality of one's life.

So is it possible to stop this destructive cycle?

Well, yes, but not in the traditional ways you may think such as grieving the loss, or by undertaking some soul searching psychotherapy that purports to help you rebuild self esteem and self worth.

After a 20 year career as a psychiatrist and psychotherapist I found that such approaches not only did not work they only made the emotional pain go "underground" into the subconscious mind/body. There it remained actively charged and prone to being reactivated by triggering events such as new relationships.

The negative memories of such events being inherently traumatic also do one very important and to date unrecognised thing; they literally "kick you" out of your body!

So what do I mean by that, you ask?

Well, there is something called Life Force Energy (LFE) or what many refer to as their "Essence" or "Authentic Self" that is the source of all one's positive resources such as self esteem, self worth, self confidence, inner strength, inner wisdom, courage, resilience, ability to make healthy discerning choices, sense of optimism and well being and much more that keeps one functional, alive and empowered.

Each time one experiences a traumatic event (which by the way is any event that is "against life" or "against you") the memory of that event gets downloaded and stored into your mind/body (i.e. what many refer to as the "subconscious mind") and while there behaves as what I call a Life Force Energy "Parasite". In other words it lives off of and depletes your LFE from your mind/body rendering you feeling weak, helpless, needy, empty, vulnerable, unlovable, worthless, inadequate, deficient, dependent, confused, and essentially unable to look after your self.

This state of negativity is often heightened when a stressful traumatic event such a relationship ending occurs.

In this state the person feels extremely insecure largely because they are left with a feeling of emptiness that needs immediate "filling". This leads them to look "outwards" to others rather than "inwards" to the reintegration of depleted LFE and hence leads them to make impulsive, poor, and needy choices that often results in more negative relationship experiences.

So is there a way to stop this destructive process? Absolutely!

The only way I have found to deal with this problem is to help one begin to restore and reintegrate their LFE into their mind/body (i.e. literally come "home") so that they can feel whole, complete, secure, strong, confident, clear, in control of themselves, at peace, patient, and therefore able to make healthy, self respecting relationship (and other) choices often for the first time in their lives.

The reintegration of LFE in my experience is only possible when the negative memories of the recent (and past) negative memories of (any) trauma is permanently and completely "erased" from the mind/body.

A decade ago a new coaching process that can do just this was developed and is available to you. So if this is of interest to you kindly visit the web site below where you can request a free introductory telephone/Skype coaching consultation that will begin to help restore you to wholeness and to help you start making self respecting, discerning and healthy relationship choices.

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