Friday, November 30, 2012

Choosing The Right Dating Site That Works For You

Is your dating career more like deja vu rather than an exciting roller coaster ride? Do you feel like you have met Prince Charming's frog-like counterpart rather than the royal gentleman you have been hoping for? Let's face it; more and more women are realizing that Mr. Right is less likely to be found than Mr. Right Now!

For some ladies, Mr. Right Now is not so bad. After all, there are plenty of independent career women who are still on the prowl for success rather than settle down. However, this does not mean that these power women will not appreciate the thrills and frills of a fantastic one on one date, right?

Most women (and perhaps, men as well) have noticed that their standards regarding potential "dates" and "partners" have changed. Yes, the ladies are pickier and more specific when it comes to knowing what they want. Hence, the mystery of why there are many failed blind dates has been partially solved!

Inside every lady is a princess waiting to meet her prince charming. While on occasions, frog princes do appear; women find themselves signing up on dating sites and trying their luck. Still, it will not hurt to know how to actually use these websites to find more hits than misses. If you are trying to decide on which site, app or service to test your luck with, here are a few tips you might want to consider:

What Type of Relationship Are You Looking For?

What exactly are you looking for? Are you gearing up for the long-term, long haul type of relationship? Are you looking for a casual, fun one on one date? No strings attached?

Determining what level of commitment you are seeking with the opposite sex will help you narrow down your choice of sites and services. It will also help these dating services find you a more specific partner.

What Type of Partner Are You Looking For?

Contrary to popular belief that women tend to change their minds a lot, when it comes to men, they have a pretty fixed criterion. Unfortunately, the list of qualities they tend to seek for in a man might outlast your regular roll of toilet paper.

Having a concise and precise list of what you are seeking for in a partner will make it easier for the dating service to narrow down possible matches and mismatches for you. This will also help you determine which has the best options to offer you.

What Type of Date Are You Looking For?

Another important thing to consider is the setting and the type of "date" you want to embark on. Dating sites and services nowadays have packages and great, unique date ideas that you can choose from.

Getting Back Your Ex Girlfriend - 3 Mistakes That Are Going to Push Her Away for Good!

There are some mistakes that you can end up making with an ex girlfriend that are really going to push her away for good. They are the kind of mistakes that you can't just take back or apologize for and they can end up being the main reason why she won't even give the idea of getting back with you a second thought. So, if you want to get your ex girlfriend back, it is a good idea to know what these mistakes are so you don't unknowingly end up making any of them.

Here are 3 mistakes that are going to push her away for good:

1) You don't want to make the mistake of getting the timing WRONG.

Timing is such a crucial thing when it comes to getting back an ex girlfriend. Try to win her back too quickly, and you'll end up making her feel like she wants nothing to do with you at all. Wait too long to try and win her back, and she might end up feeling like you are more of a friend to her and like it would be a little too weird to end up dating you again.

2) You don't want to make the mistake of talking negatively about your ex girlfriend to people she knows.

While it might feel good for you to kind of get things off your chest and say some of the things that you want to say about her, you do have to be careful about who you are talking to. If you end up saying some really negative things about her when you are feeling kind of angry with her and the wrong person hears it, they can end up going back to her and telling her exactly what you said.

3) You also don't want to make the mistake of accusing her of things after breaking up with her.

Probably the most common thing that guys will accuse their ex girlfriend of after the break up is cheating. That's not the only one though. Some guys will accuse their ex girlfriend of not being as serious as they were or something along those lines. You have to be really careful of making accusations of your ex girlfriend, because those are the kinds of things that women just don't tend to forgive so easily.

When it comes to getting back an ex girlfriend, the fewer mistakes that you can make, the better off you are going to be. When things go smoothly, you give your ex less reason to doubt that getting back together is the right thing to do.



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How To Treat Women And Get The Results YOU Want

Balance is the key. A man who doesn't have balance is a man who isn't getting what he wants because he is either getting disrespected or he is breaking up with a woman who he may really like. If you're too nice, women will take advantage of your kindness. If you're too rude, women will get fed up (the smarter ones) and break up with you. You need to learn how to treat a woman accordingly. Here are a few things to keep in mind.

  • Punish bad behavior, reward good behavior. When a woman is acting right, you let her know she's being good by rewarding her. If a woman is not acting right, you check her. Checking disrespect is the best way to get respect. Sometimes checking disrespect feels uncomfortable because you don't want to seem rude or like the bad guy. My opinion, be the bad guy once and you'll be the good guy twice.

  • Stop worshiping beautiful women. Hot women don't want to be worshiped. What you are really doing is raising her value and lowering yours. People who are valuable and important don't worship other people no matter how hot or how successful they are. It's okay to admire or respect other people, but to worship someone else is a big no-no.

  • Listen carefully. I know a lot of women aren't talking about things that interest you but listening does two things. It shows you that you respect her in some way, which makes her feel good about being with you, and it also lets you see how honest she's being with you. If you ask a woman where was she and she tells you she went shopping with her mother, but later on says she just came from the movies with her friends, she's not being honest with you and that's when you need to check her for being dishonest. Women who cheat usually have cover up stories and this is why you need to be a good listener... not just to be a good guy.

Knowing how to treat women in good situations and bad situations is the best way to keep women. If you're dating a woman and don't know how to treat her when she's being disrespectful, she will keep disrespecting you throughout the relationship. Be a man who women love and respect. Being liked is good but being respected is something every man wants.

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Electronic Courage: Why Online Dating Enables Rejection

Respond or ignore... that's the choice you have to make regarding the message you just received from a fellow member of your favorite online dating site.

It should be a relatively easy decision but which one it's going to be depends largely on how marketable your online dating profile has been. If you've been receiving a lot of attention you might just ignore the message - which has both an upside and a downside for the sender. Having a message ignored can be good if it means someone is spared an unwarranted negative remark. Then again, sometimes it's nice just to know that the other person acknowledged the effort that was put into a message, even if the interest isn't reciprocated, and a polite "thanks, good luck" response can be a really nice gesture.

Conversely, if you've been receiving a lot of attention there's a real possibility that you might get drunk off of your own ego. You might wonder why the sender thought it was okay to send you a message at all. Heck, based on the number of messages you've been receiving you qualify for outright "sexy beast" status. You might be so overwhelmed by your popularity that you question how on earth this particular person thought you were anywhere in their league. You might even get frustrated that they clogged up your inbox with their obviously misplaced message. And if you're in a really bad mood, chances are you might send a reply-message that rejects the sender so harshly that it deters them from ever wanting to respond to another online profile again.

It's true that online dating instills a certain sort of "electronic courage" in people that they might not otherwise have in person when dealing with potential suitors. It can easily be likened to the equivalent of "liquid courage" - that false bravado that guys tend to get after they've had too much alcohol to drink and are eager to entertain a fight. Same sort of concept at play when online daters are feeling their oats.

So why does online dating give people an over-inflated sense of themselves and prompt rejection? It all comes down to the filter that is the faceless internet itself. How many times have you been approached by someone in person and felt too nervous about rejecting them because you didn't know how they would react? Well, the internet provides cover that you wouldn't ordinarily enjoy in those types of situations. When someone with a profile that doesn't pass muster for you sends a message you can choose to do whatever you want with it without having to feel bad about it.

That's an interesting concept, huh? People really don't give much thought to what the person on the other side of that internet connection is going to think about a non-response or short rejection note. The internet is turning us into a very impersonal society in that regard. And the more impersonal we become the more comfortable we feel about rejecting others.

In addition, tomorrow always promises to bring a new crop of interested potentials your way so a lot of online daters choose to hedge their bets with the numbers game. The numbers game has always been a factor when it comes to dating, especially for those that don't have trouble attracting others, but the internet makes it ridiculous. There are so many members of online dating sites nowadays that even those that might not be as successful in the attraction department in person are doing relatively well on the internet. In general, when you know that you can discount someone today and still have five more potentials knocking on your door tomorrow it makes online dating a breeding ground for rejection.

The secret to success is knowing this going in. If you understand that online dating increases the likelihood of rejection for these reasons, you will fare better by playing the numbers game yourself. Okay, so the "5-Alarm Fire" hot person you emailed last week never responded. Pick your chin up off the ground and take another look at the people that have messaged you since then.

Are you sure that person you overlooked yesterday isn't Starbucks-worthy?



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How To Maintain High Confidence Even When You're Not Succeessful

Success is a by-product of confidence. The more confident you are, the higher your success can grow. Don't try to become successful without first becoming confident. This is why you want to make as many mistakes as possible in the beginning to learn and grow to get that confidence. I'm gonna explain to you how to maintain high confidence even when you're not successful. Pay close attention because your world is about to open up.

  • The first thing you want to do is be honest with yourself. Don't lie to yourself, but at the same time don't beat yourself up over your flaws. What you want to do is work on changing those flaws and enhancing your best features. If you're fat, start working out. If you're not attractive, start wearing nice clothes and work on your personality. By the way, packing on muscle is a must if you want to get the best results. Women love men with muscles. Some like big muscles and some women like men who are cut up. Just work on packing on the muscle and let your body determine what kind of muscles you'll have.

  • Treat anything you really want like a project. If you don't get what you want, go back to the drawing board. Instead of catching feelings and getting depressed, just ask yourself, "what happened there? Was it something I could have done better or was it out of my control?" Some women will like you and others won't no matter how good-looking or how much muscle you pack on. Don't beat yourself up over one woman because it's not about that one woman but the ability to get women.

  • Be confident for no reason. Even when you fail, have the belief that you can do it... it's just a matter of learning how. If you're not successful with women, you need to learn how to treat them, how to talk to them, and how to make them cum, etc. Learning is what builds that confidence, not success just happening to you. When you understand something, you have more control over the situation. If you luck up on something, you won't know how to duplicate those results. Be confident for no reason because you know you're willing to learn and grow to be successful.

Stop trying to get lucky and start building that confidence. Sink or swim, you'll feel better about yourself once you do get the success you want.



This article is brought to you by FREE PERSONALS.

Relationships: Where Do Our Relationship Models Come From?

The relationships that each one of us has are being defined by the relationship models that we have. And this can range from the more meaningful and intimate ones, to the ones that are platonic and carry very little meaning.

However, although we all have our internal models of what our relationships should be like, it doesn't mean that we are always conscious of these models. Or that the models that we have will be empowering or functional.

Models

These models are a combination of many different elements. What these elements will amount too are relationships that feel normal to us or to desiring a relationship that we believe will lead
to happiness and fulfilment.

At a conscious level one can have ideas and certain requirements for the type of person that their looking for. And unconsciously one can also have a model that is completely different to the one that they consciously describe.

Triggers

Even though one can have ideas about what the ideal relationship should be like, or certain visions of what it will look like and the feelings that will occur as a result of this; the person or people that one is attracted to, are often completely different to the ideal that one has.

And this is due to the models being different in the unconscious mind; with these models being what are classed as safe to the ego mind. This is the part that has the biggest influence on the type of relationships that one attracts into their life.

Conflict

What this then creates is internal and external conflict. If one wants a relationship that is full of love, is empowering and functional and one is constantly attracting the opposite; it is inevitably going to create pain.

On the outside this can lead to one attracting the wrong types of people, ending up in the wrong situations, and environments and compromising themselves. And internally this is bound to create: frustration, anger, hopelessness; powerless and even feeling like a victim and that one has no choice.

Are They Possible?

The relationships models that one can have could be dysfunctional, in the sense that they represent the past models that were unhealthy, abusive or disempowering. And this can then lead to the ego mind seeing relationships through two extremes.

Through the ego mind being programmed in this way, it could then go the other side. And this means that it cause one to expect and look for relationships that are perfect. This is a relationship that is always pleasurable, pain free and never has any conflict; the type that
one finds in a Disney story.

The Ideal And The Real

And if one has a dysfunctional relationship model, one may alternate between seeing relationships as completely negative and painful and between viewing them through rose coloured glasses.

These ideals will be a combination of the needs and wants that were not met as a child. The knight in shining armour (Being saved) or the princess (Being mothered) figures that are often shown in films are an example of this. Here are just two examples of what the ego mind can identify with as sources of strength and healing. They could also be described as archetypes.

Normal

And in order for these relationship models to change one has to be aware that they can be changed. Because if one has experienced relationships in this way from the very beginning, it is likely that they will be perceived as normal.

One can feel that this is simply how life is and if other people have relationships that are healthy and empowering, it is because they are different or lucky. And through looking outside and comparing oneself with others, it rarely leads to personal growth and often ends up in one feeling powerless.

The Ego Mind

And the reason it feels normal is because the ego mind has been programmed to feel safe with the relationship models that one has. This means that it is simply familiar to the ego mind, this then results in the association of it being classed as safe.

Patterns

If one were to look at their relationships, they would probably notice numerous patterns. This means that their relationships make them feel a certain way, or have certain thoughts or lead to the same scenarios and situations.

Something that Dov Baron has described as - 'Attracting the same person with a different face'. Here, one simply feels that although a different person is in their life, the experience is the same and hasn't changed.

In The Beginning

The people that have had the biggest influence on what ones relationship models are like are ones caregivers and the people that were around during the beginning of one's life.

These people were examples for ones young mind to soak up and indentify with. At such a young age, one didn't have the ability to question if they were good models to internalise. They were simply the only ones available.

And as repetition is the way that something is learned, it was normal that one would end up with these models themselves; after being exposed to these models for so song.

Letting Go

So even though one has a conscious desire to change these models and to create relationships that mirror who they are today and what they need; the ego minds programming will make one feel uncomfortable and this will lead to fear.

At a logical level, it makes no sense for one to feel fear around letting go of the dysfunctional models and forming healthy and empowering models. But to the ego mind, change means death, and so anything that is different is interpreted as a threat to ones survival.

From Here

Firstly one has to recognise these patterns or to sense that something isn't right and to then look for answers. Once this has happened, one can start to move on from these models and to create new models for relationships.

This can be done through many different avenues; with therapists, books and friends all being great sources of assistance.



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Assume Benign Intent

My anger was rising. Every time he spoke, I grew more frustrated and irritated. I could feel my blood pressure rising, my face flushing, my lips tightening, and my shoulders hunching forward. I knew that I was furrowing my brow and that my voice was growing flatter and more menacing with each verbal exchange.

While I did not physically fear for my safety, I did feel threatened. I felt ambushed, cornered, and criticized. I was not happy. My greatest desire was to make the conversation end - quickly.

And, I was falling prey to a common problem in conflict resolution.

I was responding to my fight-or-flight response rather than responding logically and rationally to what was happening. I was withdrawing into my own perspective without objectively hearing the other person's.

I was assuming that he had the intention to verbally attack me. When I heard his words through the filter of intentional attack, I could not find the focus and ability to remain objective. I became almost totally self-protective, and I went on an attack of my own.

Was his voice volume elevated? Yes.

Was he leaning forward? Yes.

Was his face flushed? Yes.

Did his tone sound like aggression to me? Yes.

Did his body language look like aggression to me? Yes.

Did he intend to be aggressive? I didn't know.

Assuming a person's intention is a pretty dangerous thing to do. In reality, we don't know the other person's intention unless they tell us. In most cases, we only know what we assume to be true about their intention based on our past experiences and our own emotional filters.

The leverage point for better self-control lies in recognizing that we have the power to choose our assumptions.

In the example above, I could have assumed that the other person was passionate about the topic rather than angry with me. With that one shift in perspective, I would have changed my focus from self-preservation to problem solving. I could have listened better and kept my responses more controlled.

By making the assumption of benign intent, I could have moved the conflict from escalation to resolution.

In this case, sadly, I did not make the switch. I chose a negative interpretation, and I escalated right along with my partner. The conversation did not end well.

Fortunately, we spoke again on a different day, and we had a more positive outcome. It ended well, but it took far too long to get there. My contribution to the excessive time investment started when I assumed that he meant to attack me verbally.

It turns out that he did not intend to attack me. He was merely frustrated over the situation, and I saw it as an attack.

The fight-or-flight response that causes our bodies to respond under the influence of adrenaline is a wonderful thing when we face a physical threat. And few of us face a physical threat in most conversations.

Choosing to assume that the other person has benign intent can help you to control your response so that you can be the one to move towards resolution by showing empathy and understanding rather than anger and judgement.

Assuming benign intent could prove to be wrong. The other person might actually mean to verbally attack you. If that is the case, you can escalate if necessary. Even in many situations where the other person intends an attack, you can deescalate the conflict by making the positive assumption and responding kindly.

The assumption of intended threat almost always leads you to respond in ways that escalate even minor misunderstandings. The assumption of benign intent can give you the time and self-control you need to respond in a way that resolves the conflict.

If you want to do everything that you can do to move a conflict conversation towards resolution, remember to assume the other person has benign intent.



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Deceitful People

I get so many emails from people asking me how you deal with betrayal. Have you ever been on the receiving end of a lie? Or, have you ever been deceived by someone you care about or worse yet who you are in love with?

There isn't anything quite like the realization that you've been lied to by someone you trusted.

When you are married or in a long-term relationship it can turn your world upside down and turn you inside out. It could possibly be the worst feeling next to losing someone you love.

Well, in a way, you have lost someone you love, in the sense that you will never feel the same about them again.

And my friends, when that happens it changes the whole complexion of your relationship forever. Not having trust in a relationship crumbles the foundation in which you build upon. It destroys the innocence and purity of something sacred and it leaves you with a constant gnawing inside that something is wrong.

Often times, incredibly, I see people blame themselves!

When dealing with deceitful people you have to keep one very important thing in mind, it's not you, it's them. No one is perfect, we all have our issues, but this particular flaw is the worst.

For instance, some one that gambles can't gamble 24-7. You know when they're gambling or not. Or an alcoholic can't drink all day long. You know when they're drinking or not. But, when you deal with a liar, any time anything comes out of their mouth you never know if it's the truth or a lie. You simply don't know when they're lying or not. Period.

It's one of the toughest issues to deal with inside of a relationship. If you were action heroes you would have to possess super strength to withstand ongoing pain and overcome anything. And, your partner would have to be transparent so you could see right through him/her.

In the real world, since you're only human, there is only one thing you can do and that is decide how you are going to deal with betrayal. You have to now choose whether or not you are going to move forward and fight the uphill battle of trying to regain that trust or if you're going to walk away from someone who doesn't deserve your trust.

Believe me when I tell you, if you choose the uphill battle be prepared, because it comes fraught with so much angst that you damn well better have super powers because you are going to need them. And, if you're partner isn't willing to fight to regain your trust; it will be like you're sleeping with the enemy.

I know it sounds harsh but its reality.

It's not to say that some partners make horrible mistakes and are remorseful and would do anything to regain and rebuild that trust. It's a chance you may want to take to salvage the debris from a broken relationship. And, if successful, you may have an even stronger foundation because of a new found appreciation of how valuable you are to them.

On the other hand, if you take a chance and see the first signs of that gnawing feeling eating away at you or you simply can't trust them, it's time to ask yourself who you love more, you or them?

Dealing with betrayal is never easy, but what's easy about staying when you know you should leave? And, ultimately you may walk away from the relationship but when you walk away from a liar what have you really lost?



This article is brought to you by FREE PERSONALS.

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

How To Deal With Criticism About Your Interracial Dating Decisions

"Sellout!... that was the one that hurt the worst," said Tanya, a 32 year-old black woman from Bowie, Maryland who dates interracially. She's dealt with her fair share of hushed name-calling and bitter looks for years. Recalling a situation that occurred a few months ago when she went out with a white guy and walked past a group of black men, one decided to shout out his personal opinion much to her dismay.

"I can usually deal with the overt, and downright ignorant, stuff like that though," she said confidently. "It's actually the criticism that comes from my inner circle that makes me the most uncomfortable. You'd think they would be the most supportive but sometimes they can tear you down the most."

In fact, it is much tougher when your own family and friends don't support your decision to date outside of your own race. Although interracial dating is almost commonplace in the world we now live in there are still a lot of people who don't like the idea and will be very vocal about it. Dealing with the criticism requires different tactics depending on the source of the tension.

When dealing with strangers that have a problem with interracial dating you have a few options. You can, of course, choose to completely ignore their criticism no matter how outward it is - if you're the kind of person that doesn't get riled up easily. It really is true that it makes people even angrier when they're trying to get your goad and you don't acknowledge it. They end up looking rather stupid and you walk away feeling good about not stooping to their level. However, not everyone has that kind of personality. If you feel absolutely compelled to address a stranger's criticism it's best to use tact, even if they're not showing you much in return, but not to back down. Who knows, you might just make a new friend in the process of confronting someone who's merely having a bad day and deciding to vent by lashing out at you. That's probably a long-shot though! What's more likely to happen is a volley of choice words with no real victor in the end.

If you're really interested in trying to learn about the motives of a naysayer and possibly educate them about yours then you have to first get them to ease off of their defensive posture. Nothing does this better than a simple invitation to talk. Invite them to have a conversation with you about what's prompting their negativity so that you can better understand where they're coming from. And actively listen. Don't just pretend to hear them out. Really pay attention to why they have a problem with you dating outside of your race. And there's one tried and true way to de-escalate a conversation every time. Repeat what you think you hear the other party saying and ask them if you're capturing their thoughts correctly. That works every time to break them out of a monologue and to draw them into a dialogue instead. People's feelings are what they are and you can't change them for the most part. However, appealing to them personally will shake them up and they may just forget about the categorical box that they'd drawn around you in their heads and hear what you have to say. Really, that's all you should be looking to achieve in a situation like this.

When you invite someone to enter into a dialogue it requires them to put some thought into formulating their arguments and that's where the "art of the possible" comes into play. Think of it as a civilized duel. Asking them questions as opposed to making blanket statements to defend your own position will do wonders and as you're modeling that behavior they may subconsciously mirror it themselves. You will probably not gain a convert out of them. Chances are that they won't walk away from the conversation agreeing with your decision to be a member of the interracial dating community but you may have succeeded in convincing them that you are an individual with your own unique motives and experiences. And coming to that realization may make them think twice about branding every interracial dater they see with the same moniker and assumptions.

Now, honestly, that tract won't work with those that know you intimately. You can't catch them off-guard as easily by asking them to talk about their issues openly because, frankly speaking, they know you too well. You'll have to take a different approach with your family and friends and it starts by being forthright and letting them know that your decision doesn't, or shouldn't, have an impact on them. Don't take the "it's my life" or "mind your business" mentality though. That will do nothing but breed discontent and keep the criticism coming. You have to still demonstrate a genuine interest in understanding their point of view while not relinquishing your own.

When you're dealing with folks that you're close to you have to frame your discussion around the U.S. Constitution. Yes, you read that correctly. Your right to pursue happiness should be the anchor that secures your reasoning. They will probably attempt to get you into a debate about the problem of cultural differences, why your concept of attractive qualities is so skewed, socioeconomic bantering or the omnipotent argument about the need for loyalty to ones own people. Your response should be simply, "this makes me happy." Happiness is one of the rare things in life that just can't be influenced a great deal by external factors. It's truly a state of mind and that fact neutralizes all of the arguments for adhering to a standard when it comes to matters of the heart.

"You need a black man."

"No, I need to be happy."

"It's not right for you to disgrace your own people like this."

"It's not right for people to try to determine what makes me happy."

"You're only with him because you think he'll elevate your social status."

"I'm with him because he makes me feel happy."

See how this works? It may seem trivial, but happiness is the most powerful weapon you have when trying to quell criticism from your friends and family because, eventually, they will have to back off of their arguments... or admit that they just don't want to see you happy. And that's a whole different kind of discussion that has nothing to do with interracial dating!

Hopefully, these techniques will help interracial daters communicate more effectively with non-supporters in ways that re-focus their negative energies, shift their narrow perspectives and appeal to their most human instincts. Regardless of what others say, as long as you're comfortable with your decisions and can rationalize them it doesn't matter if others aren't or can't do the same.

Ways to Save Your Relationship on Your Own

Do you want to save you failing relationship? Do you think that your partner is worth fighting for? There are times when the feeling is only one sided; you may think that your relationship is worth giving another try, especially when you have been through so much together.

However, if he feels completely the opposite and wants out... If he does not want anything to do with you anymore and he does not really care if you try...

If this is the case,

Here are some techniques that you can use to save your relationship on your own.

Give him the last chance to make up his mind, but this time pull out all the stops. Invite him for dinner; dress in the most breathtaking dress, and of course, invite him to STAY afterwards. He will immediately catch on the idea; if he wants to make amends and find ways to save your relationship, then he is really the guy for you. But, if he sees that this is just another tactic to make him come back and ditches your invitation, just letting him go do his own thing can be best.

· Tell him that you want to have a last one on one talk with him to see how you two could patch things up together. Tell him that this meeting will be a "forgive and forget" type of meeting and the past is going to be behind the both of you from now on. If he obliges and asks you when you will meet, then give him a chance; but, if after you have texted and called him up several times and still he says he will think about it, then he deserves nothing from you.

· Find out what he thinks about you dating another man. Give him the hint that you may consider taking the invitation of a colleague at work or from your closest friends; see what his reaction is. If he says you can go on and schedule that date, he may have already found someone for a date too. But, if he says hold on and is concerned about your love life, then he may still have feelings for you.

· Email him pictures of your life after he has gone and see how he likes or hates it. You can easily tell if he is interested if he says that he wishes he was there or if he asks you what you have done with all his stuff. He may have moved on if he does not reply or if he sends you pics of his life as well. However, if he tends to be shy, he may not know how to react. So, give him the chance to reply by asking how he is doing.

Finally, give him space. See how he likes the wind in his hair for once. Sometimes it can be good to be away from each other to realize how much you miss and need one another. Remember that if you set your love free and he comes back he is the one true love for you.



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How To Make Her Hot For You, Guaranteed Skin Tingling Tips Creating Uncontrollable Sexual Tension

Do you want to know how to make her hot for you, do you want the secrets of the elite? Do you want to her pulsate with desire longing for your touch. The secrets of seduction are available for every one but few put in the effort and dedication to master these skills. This is a huge mistake because, with some knowledge and dedication you can become a incredibly skilled at attracting beautiful women and making then want you.

Listed here are some tips that will guarantee to make her skin tingle with desire if you carry then out in the correct manner.

Purpose. Trying to Grab a Feel is a huge turn off for women. Don't try to touch as if you are doing something wrong or illicit. Have purpose in your step. Touch her as if you mean it and feel a connection. A good way to make her crave you to do more, is holding hair her away from her neck while your other hand gently massages her tense shoulders.

Don't try to grope her. Let her feel safe in your arms, hold her firm with tenderness.

Less is always more. The intention is to make her feel relaxed not tense because your fingers keep wandering. You will feel her body relaxing and her position become more inviting, this is what you want but don't deviate form your purpose of massaging her neck. Make her want more, by keeping some back.

All seduction starts in the mind. Women want what they can't have, hold back a bit, enjoy the massage. Allow her to fantasize, be aware of the changes in her body language, how she is relaxing, listen to her breathing change.

The Look. This is one of the least used but one of the most powerful techniques to make a woman hot for you. This method can be achieved whether you are next to her or at the other side of the room. Always remember women are incredible intuitive and can sense when a man is looking and his intention. If you look at her as if you are undressing her with your eyes you will fail to seduce and just appear creepy. The key to "The Look" is the passion she can feel when you are looking at her, catching her eyes. This technique works at the primal level and is very effective in making her feel she is connected to you sexually.

Remember, allow your glare to linger with passion not an intense creepy stare which makes her feel uncomfortable.



This article is brought to you by FREE DATING.

Is He Really Serious About You? 3 Possible Clues He Is NOT

The last thing that you probably want to do is waste your time in a relationship with a guy who isn't really all that serious about you. To spend time with someone only to realize that you were way more serious about the relationship than they were can be a humbling and even humiliating experience. You probably are not looking for that to happen, so you may be interested in figuring out whether or not the guy you are with is really serious about you or if you are just wasting your time.

Here are 3 clues that he is NOT really serious about being with you:

1) He makes just about everything else in his life a priority over you.

Does he seem to break plans with you whenever anything else comes up? Is he the kind of guy who will blow off date night with you just to go hang out with the guys at the bar and shoot some pool? If he is willing to ditch you for something else most of the time, I'd hate to say it, but he is probably not that serious about you. When a guy is serious about a woman he is dating, he'll make sure that he spends time with her.

2) He doesn't want to talk about the future with you.

Have you tried to get him talking about future plans with you and every time that you do, he seems to find a way to talk about something else or he just flat out makes it clear that he doesn't like to talk about that stuff? While it is true that some guys just have a really hard time talking about future plans, usually they will at least try and give it some effort if they are really serious about the relationship working out. If he is unwilling to even give it a shot, then chances are it is because he is not that serious about the relationship.

3) He talks about other women in front of you.

I don't mean talking about celebrities that he is never going to meet. I mean, does he talk about women that pass by when you are out with him and make comments that show he is still kind of looking around? That would probably be a good indication that he is the kind of guy who will up and leave if he feels like he can "upgrade" and that is probably not the kind of guy you want to be with.



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Need to Write a Good Online Profile? Let a Life Coach and Online Professional Show You How!

First a few important points about online dating:

Most sites check member's profiles when they are created and when any changes are made so there is no point in including any lewd or explicit content.

Sites also do not allow any personal information in your profile so please leave out you addresses, cell numbers etc. in this area.

Another point is that this section is aimed at selling yourself as a decent and caring individual, it is not an opportunity to promote your business or services so leave that out here.

It is a good idea to spend some time and create your profile in a word document so that you can perfect it before putting it up on the site.

Profiles go live immediately and are checked within 24 hours. This means that if your profile goes up and is not perfect, you could miss out on the love of your life, because you did not take care with your profile.

The number of replies you get from other members will depend on the quality and completeness of your profile.

Here are some useful tips that will help you get the best possible results:

•Create a catchy title for your profile! When members search listings on the site, the title of your profile is usually listed alongside your name. As a woman, a profile titles like "Hi my name is Ed!" does nothing for me, whereas I definitely stopped to have a closer look at titles such as "A Woman Is A Precious Thing" and "Knight In Shining Armour Seeks His Princess". Yes I know the second one is a little corny but it is still eye-catching.

•When you create a heading do remember to capitalize as I have done in the examples as your heading will stand out more. A catchy heading is great but will not do a thing without a photograph so do upload one!

•People like to see who they're writing to and, as a result, profiles that have photographs attached get up to 10 times more clicks than profiles that don't.

It is usually quite easy to submit photographs but if you are digitally challenged you can usually send your picture to the sites support team for them to upload. Sites usually accept digital photo's in JPG or GIF format. Please remember that honesty is hugely important when it comes to online dating so always use a recent photograph!

•Your profile should include your likes and dislikes, things you enjoy doing, what line of work you're in, what your personality is like, even your hopes and dreams. The better your profile describes you, the more likely it is that others will read and respond to it.

Some sites allow you to upload audio and video introductions! These are wonderful tools and if you use them carefully and creatively you will be on the way to success. Here you can tell people what you want them to know about yourself in your own words, and make them feel as if they have known you for ages!

Then sit back, relax, and watch your mailbox getting flooded with messages! Here's hoping that your prospective suitors have also read this article and that they knock your socks off with information that is attractive to you!

So now the mails are rolling in and you have some possible dates on offer. Don't rush into heading off for dinner with the first person that contacts you.

Although it can be tedious, you should try to get to know each other via email before you head out on a date. This is no guarantee that you are getting the 'genuine article' but it is still wise to take a bit of time and, even then, I suggest a coffee date just to size each other up a little more. If this date goes well you can come up with dating ideas that will be a more adventurous and exciting.

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

How to Get a Girlfriend Before The New Year - 5 Steps You Need to Take

You started off 2012 without a girlfriend and you know how that feels. Seems like everyone has someone that they can share that magical moment when the ball drops and you want some of that too. You are dead set on the fact that you DO want to get a girlfriend before the calendar hits 2013. And you totally don't believe in any of that Mayan nonsense about the world ending before that... so what are you going to do?

Here are 5 steps that you NEED to take if you are going to get a girlfriend before the ball drops and the calendar turns over to 2013:

1) Commit yourself to having a "no excuses" attitude.

Stop telling yourself that you don't have the looks or the personality to attract a girlfriend. Some of the biggest jerks end up with a woman in their life and some of the most boring guys also end up with someone, so there is no reason why you can't. You can't sabotage yourself, you have to stop making excuses before you do anything else.

2) Sign up for one of the well known free dating sites.

There are several of these out there and the more well known that they are, the better. You don't want to sign up with some site that no woman has ever heard of. You are not going to get a chance to meet any females that way. Go with one of the ones that you have heard of or seen ads for, because chances are... plenty of single women have seen those ads of heard of those sites as well.

3) Fill up your calendar over the next 4 weeks with something to do, somewhere to go every weekend.

You are not going to end up getting a girlfriend by sitting at home and watching reruns of shows that weren't funny ten years ago. You are going to get a girlfriend when you take action and when you get out and mix and mingle with people. There are tons of parties, social events, and club/bar events that go on leading up till New Years... make the most of it.

4) Talk to friends that you trust and see if they know of anyone that they think would be a good match for you.

Sometimes this ends up being the easiest and most effective way to get a girlfriend that you actually like being around. Your friends know who you are and they know who will match up well with you. Take advantage of that if you can. The cool thing is, if they do know someone that they can set up you up with, you'll already have something in common with that woman.

5) Approach one woman per day over the next few weeks.

This is the real "take action approach" that will yield awesome results if you actually go ahead and do it. During the holiday season, women are usually a little more receptive about being approached. Has a lot to do with the whole "holiday spirit" thing. Use that to your advantage and start approaching women. Don't come across like you are looking to pick them up, come across like you are just trying to make conversation.

This is one of the easiest times of the year to get a girlfriend. Women want to be in a relationship this time of the year and the amount of opportunities to go out and meet someone are endless. The only way that you are going to end up failing... is if you don't take any action. So, go ahead and put these 5 steps to use.

3 Things That You Shouldn't Do If You Want Your Ex Girlfriend Back

While it might seem to be something that you don't really want to happen, sometimes going through a break up can be a good thing. It all depends on how you look at things. If you go through a break up with a woman you are dating and you can find a way to win her back, your relationship will probably be a lot stronger as long as you are able to really work things out. So, in that sense, it can kind of be a good thing. Of course, in order for it to be a good thing, you are going to have to get her back and that means that you are going to have to learn what you SHOULDN'T do if you want your ex to come back to you.

Here are 3 things that you shouldn't do if you want your ex girlfriend back:

1. You should not assume that just because she broke up with you, you can't win her back.

If you are going to have the attitude that you can't get her back because she broke up with you, then you are probably going to be right. Not because that is the way that it has to be, but because you are not going to have the right mindset for winning her back. You need to assume that you DO have the chance to get your ex girlfriend back so that way you end up having the right mindset to make it happen.

2. You should not tell your ex girlfriend that you are going to change if you are not going to change.

Making hallow promises about changing is going to get old really quickly if you don't actually show your ex girlfriend that you are willing to change. On the other hand, if you DO show her that you are willing to make some changes, that can end up having a profound effect on your ex girlfriend and make her feel like giving you another chance is the right thing for her to do.

3. You should not focus all of your attention on just your ex girlfriend.

When you devote all of your time and energy on thinking about your ex, that means that you are not going to have time to get the rest of your life in order. Now, you probably want to really impress your ex girlfriend and if that is going to happen, then you NEED to be able to get the rest of your life in order. So, be careful that you don't devote too much of your focus on the ex girlfriend if you want her back.

Dating Question - Do You Have to Always Wait 3 Days to Call a Woman?

You may have heard that in order to make a woman see you as not being desperate, that you should wait 3 days before you call her up after getting her number or even after taking her out on a date. Some guys will preach this rule to one another as if it is the finite truth, as if you are going to be doomed to being a dating failure if you call a woman up before 3 days have passed. So, do you have to wait 3 days before you call up a woman?

My answer is simple - not always. You might be surprised at how many good opportunities you will miss out on if you always abide by the rule of waiting for a minimum of 3 days. One of the keys to getting good with women is understanding that YOU can make the rule book as you go along. And that there are situations where those conventional ideas that men pass to one another are actually going to end up working against you.

Here is an example of what I mean:

You are out of town for a week and you go out to a club just to have a good time. While you are there, you happen to get a woman's number, but because of reasons that are out of your control - you don't have a chance of spending any one on one time with her that night. Now, since you are only going to be out of town for that week, does it make sense to wait 3 days before you give her a ring?

Nope.

Chances are, you are going to miss out on that opportunity if you do. You'd probably be much better off calling her up the next day if you can. After all, she probably knows that you are on a little vacation, so you don't have to worry about it looking like you don't have a life, because you are out of town. That's just one situation where waiting three days to make a call just doesn't make sense.

Another situation is when the sparks are really flying and the chemistry is pretty obvious between you and a woman you have met. If things are getting that good for you, you want to call her up as soon as you can within reason. Otherwise, you are going to run the risk that she will "cool off" and the next time you get in touch with her, that chemistry just isn't going to be there.

There are plenty more examples, the overall lesson to take away is that things are more situation specific than they are absolute. Following absolute rules of when to call a woman will usually make it harder for you because you will end up missing out on a lot of opportunities just because you waited too long to call.

Why Do People On The Rebound Make Bad Relationship Choices?

Do you know that many individuals who are coming out of an unhealthy relationship situation often find themselves quickly re-entering similar negative and often abusive relationships? Do you know that this pattern is largely driven by feelings of rejection, abandonment, low self worth, low self esteem, and a deep need to be/feel loved, feel wanted, secure, whole, complete, validated, wanted, needed, purposeful, fulfilled and so on? Do you know however that these needs are the main reason for the inability to make clear, discerning and healthy choices at such a vulnerable time? Finally, do you know that it is now possible to permanently and quickly heal the emotional pain that comes with the ending of a relationship, to restore one not only to a state of inner peace but to wholeness, emotional independence and self sufficiency from which point they can feel empowered, clear, discerning and fully able to make self respecting and healthy choices in a partner? Want to learn more?

Let's face it the end of a relationship is often very traumatic to an individual.

Not only do few ever really ever heal from such trauma, it is the traumatic memory of the experience itself that sets them up to make more bad relationship choices creating a growing and gaping "wound" of emotional pain, insecurity, neediness, worthlessness, mistrust and so on that can literally undermine the overall quality of one's life.

So is it possible to stop this destructive cycle?

Well, yes, but not in the traditional ways you may think such as grieving the loss, or by undertaking some soul searching psychotherapy that purports to help you rebuild self esteem and self worth.

After a 20 year career as a psychiatrist and psychotherapist I found that such approaches not only did not work they only made the emotional pain go "underground" into the subconscious mind/body. There it remained actively charged and prone to being reactivated by triggering events such as new relationships.

The negative memories of such events being inherently traumatic also do one very important and to date unrecognised thing; they literally "kick you" out of your body!

So what do I mean by that, you ask?

Well, there is something called Life Force Energy (LFE) or what many refer to as their "Essence" or "Authentic Self" that is the source of all one's positive resources such as self esteem, self worth, self confidence, inner strength, inner wisdom, courage, resilience, ability to make healthy discerning choices, sense of optimism and well being and much more that keeps one functional, alive and empowered.

Each time one experiences a traumatic event (which by the way is any event that is "against life" or "against you") the memory of that event gets downloaded and stored into your mind/body (i.e. what many refer to as the "subconscious mind") and while there behaves as what I call a Life Force Energy "Parasite". In other words it lives off of and depletes your LFE from your mind/body rendering you feeling weak, helpless, needy, empty, vulnerable, unlovable, worthless, inadequate, deficient, dependent, confused, and essentially unable to look after your self.

This state of negativity is often heightened when a stressful traumatic event such a relationship ending occurs.

In this state the person feels extremely insecure largely because they are left with a feeling of emptiness that needs immediate "filling". This leads them to look "outwards" to others rather than "inwards" to the reintegration of depleted LFE and hence leads them to make impulsive, poor, and needy choices that often results in more negative relationship experiences.

So is there a way to stop this destructive process? Absolutely!

The only way I have found to deal with this problem is to help one begin to restore and reintegrate their LFE into their mind/body (i.e. literally come "home") so that they can feel whole, complete, secure, strong, confident, clear, in control of themselves, at peace, patient, and therefore able to make healthy, self respecting relationship (and other) choices often for the first time in their lives.

The reintegration of LFE in my experience is only possible when the negative memories of the recent (and past) negative memories of (any) trauma is permanently and completely "erased" from the mind/body.

A decade ago a new coaching process that can do just this was developed and is available to you. So if this is of interest to you kindly visit the web site below where you can request a free introductory telephone/Skype coaching consultation that will begin to help restore you to wholeness and to help you start making self respecting, discerning and healthy relationship choices.

Monday, November 26, 2012

How to Text Your Ex Boyfriend Back - Everything You Need to Do and Know About the Matter

Do you firmly believe that relationships deserve second chances sometimes, especially if they have the potential to turn into a long-lasting marriage in the end? Breakups don't need to be final. You just need to decide whether learning how to text your ex boyfriend back is actually worth all of the drama and the effort involved in the matter.

Before you learn how to text your ex boyfriend back, you have to make sure you take care of your looks first. Now, this doesn't necessarily mean that you have to work hard to look like a model, but you should at least look neat and presentable. Regardless of how bad your breakup was, you cannot lose face in front of your ex - remember that. Even if you can't make many drastic changes to your look, at least be confident. Confidence is always attractive. Plus, it will make it seem like you aren't affected by the breakup at all - which is definitely a good thing.

Once you start learning how to text your ex boyfriend back, make sure you don't look like you are stalking him, chasing him, or pressuring him into getting back together with you. Instead, text him normally and give him this time to think about your relationship and the factors involved in it on his own. Then, just wait for him to come to the decision to give your relationship another try.

Of course, you will need to help his thoughts move into the right direction, though. To do this, just try to make sure that your texts remind him of the happy memories that you shared together. Casually mention your favorite restaurant, mall, gym, or sushi bar, for example, or talk about his favorite sport.

The last thing you need to learn on how to text your ex boyfriend back is to stay true to yourself. Just because your ex left you doesn't mean that you have to become a different person for him to want you back. He fell in love with you once, after all, so the chances of him falling for you all over again are pretty high as long as you remain the same. Ideally, you should think about the things that made him fall for you to begin with and then remind him about those things through text. If you do change, make sure you change into the person that he fell in love with.



This news article is brought to you by ADVANCED DATING ADVICE - where latest news are our top priority.

Saturday, November 24, 2012

Relationship Advice - Can Your Relationship Be Saved?

While some relationships are hard to develop, they can sometimes be even harder to maintain. Although we would all like to find ourselves in a blissful situation with the perfect partner, it unfortunately doesn't always work out that way! So, if you find yourself in a situation that is anything but blissful, what do you do? Do you throw in the towel, or can your intimate relationship be saved?

It may be of little consolation to you for the moment, but the first thing to remember is you are not alone. There is a reason almost half of all marriages end up in divorce. There is a reason why there is so much emphasis placed on the dating scene. And there is a reason why dating services are a multi-billion-dollar-a-year industry.

In a perfect world, finding the "right person" or your "perfect partner" would be easy, and staying with them forever would not require too much effort... everything would flow lovingly. Don't ever make the mistake of starting to think there is something really wrong with you. If that were the case, when it comes to intimate relationships there would have to be something wrong with half of the population at least.

The fact is a happy intimate relationship is quite a process. A happy relationship really only exists if the people involved in it are happy as individuals. If one of the couple is miserable, all of the happiness thrown into the relationship by the other person won't matter. When one partner is unhappy, it can either be because of the relationship, or because of something else going on in their life. Either way, the happy partner is only going to put up with it for so long and after that, the decision on whether or not to save the relationship will have been made for them.

If one partner is unhappy, it has to be worked out why.

First, is it because of the behavior of their partner? If so, the happy partner should be able to pick up on this. If the unhappy partner comes to them and says they have some problems with the relationship, it should not be a shock.

If you are unhappy, and someone asked your partner why you were, in fact, unhappy, what would they say? Would they be able to identify it? Would they know the cause of the unhappiness? And if it was their fault, would they ever admit it?

The bottom line is this: if you are unhappy, you should know why. And, more importantly, your partner also needs to know why.

Creating Relationship Success During Relationship Stress

Healthy, satisfying, mutually supportive relationships are on everybody's 'want' list. Given how desirable that state of affairs is, it's no wonder people try so many different strategies to bring them about.

It would be easy to think that the best success strategy would be keeping stress out of the relationship, but alas, that's pretty near next to impossible. Of course, those with constant high stress levels are bound to suffer, so it certainly does pay to keep the level of strain as low as possible. But to try to keep tensions out entirely - well, good luck with that!

So, given there's no avoiding some stress, what are the strategies that work the best for handling it when it does happen?

The key to not only keeping your relationship healthy, but also improving it at the same time, is to learn how to reduce the stress as much as possible, and to handle the stress well when it does occur.

The following strategy is one that tops the list for effectiveness, both for reducing stress and for handling it well when it happens. To grasp it well and be able to use it when the chips are down is to reduce the occurrence of relationship issues by a large magnitude. To convey what it is, here are some examples of exactly the opposite, the better to contrast it with what works:

  * Person A has a hard time at work and comes home and criticizes Person B.

  * Person A is running late on some projects and reneges on an important obligation to Person B without the adequate prior notice that would allow Person B to make other arrangements.

  * Person A feels pressure to get Person B to see her point of view. As the two of them converse, Person A interrupts person B and won't let her finish a sentence, instead overriding everything Person B starts to say in response.

  * Person A is flush with success owing to completion of a project and lords it over Person B, inferring that Person B is inferior by comparison.

  * Person A is in the mood to play and relax but Person B is attempting to meet a deadline. Person A blithely continues chit-chatting about fun things to do together, ignoring Person B's deadline situation and demanding B's undivided attention.

What's going on in these situations? Is there something they each have in common, despite their different particulars?

In short, yes. In each situation, instead of owning their stress, Person A is passing it to Person B. This is such a significant way to sabotage relationships that it has an official name - passing a hot potato. In fact, to further become aware of it when it's going on, it's helpful to actually imagine this invisible passing-on-of-stress as a literal hot potato - one you can actually see. Doing so makes it easier to address.

So, when you're experiencing stress in your relationships, and since you can't control other people (big surprise!) the best approach is to ask yourself if you're doing anything to pass your stress onto the other person. And of course, since you may not be aware of doing it, you can ask the other person what their experience is.

The point is not to beat yourself up about it, but to find things that you need to own and address rather than passing them on, whether out of your awareness or not.

To underscore then, how to reduce your relationship stress and improve it at the same time use this rule of thumb:

Don't pass it. Own it instead.

Using the examples above, here's what that looks like:

* Person A has a hard time at work and comes home and tells Person B, then asks for help in figuring out how to address it.

* Person A is running late on some projects and lets person B know as soon as possible that it may not work to keep an important obligation to Person B and asking to work together to come up with a better plan that works for them both.

* Person A feels pressure to get Person B to see her point of view. As the two of them converse, Person A states how important it is to know her point of view has been received, and therefore asks Person B to repeat back what she's hearing Person A say.

 * Person A is flush with success owing to completion of a project and asks Person B if he's willing to listen to Person A talk about it a bit and celebrate this success together.

 * Person A is in the mood to play and relax but Person B is attempting to meet a deadline. Person A expresses her disappointment, asks if Person B is willing to do any fun things together at all, and offers to provide some support to Person B in meeting the deadline.

In each of these situations, the stress of each party in the relationship is owned and identified instead of passed to the other partner.

Make this a strategy you use consistently, and you'll likely be amazed at the difference it makes.



This news article is brought to you by MOVIE CRITIC NEWS - where latest news are our top priority.

Friday, November 23, 2012

Getting to Know Him on a First Date

The best time to lay the groundwork for a great relationship is on the first date. But what will keep the relationship going is how much you reveal about yourself and how much of him you get to know. Successful dating begins with communication both verbal and physical. Keeping him interested is a delicate dance and few women understand it well.

First off is conversation. Its a conversation, not a narration of everything you've ever done. Nor is it a psychiatry session where you listen to everything he has to say. There has to be some sort of exchange going on. It may be that you feel compelled to tell him about everything from how you got a wedgie in high school to the first night you got attacked by a vicious Chihuahua but don't! Conversation is the cornerstone on which everything is built. Keep things light and simple but don't reveal too much about yourself.

The best thing you can do on a first date is to get to know him. Too many women get this wrong on the first date. They talk about themselves too much and try to impress the guy they're out with. The best thing you can do is figure out what he likes and dislikes as well as his hobbies and pasttimes. Men are alike in some ways but differ greatly in others and to assume that all men are into sports or are chasing financial success is not going to work well for you. Remember, assuming makes an ass out of u and me.

Getting to know him is all good, but you have to let him know you too. Mystery is healthy but too much will make him think you're being insincere. Its safe to tell him as much as he tells you and by that I mean if he talks about his work, talk about yours. If he speaks on hobbies, tell him what you do for relaxation and enjoyment. If he delves into family, then it is up to your discretion as to whether you want to involve him in your personal life so soon.

The things you should be talking about are
-Hobbies and interests
-Work
-Friends

Things to avoid
-Exes
-Finances
-Family

Now this is not set in stone. Different people are different but generally men prefer surface talk during a first date as a means of testing the waters.

If your friends are giving you advice on what to say or do during the date, take it with a pinch of salt. You are the one who is dating this man, not your friends and they can't give you 100% accurate advice. In this case, it may be more beneficial to ask your guy friends for advice than your girlfriends. Precious few men understand women, but most men understand other men. Find the guy friend who is most like your date and ask him how he would respond, react and what he would say and do in the given situation.

Listen and respond. Let him have the floor and speak about himself and he will see you in a different light. Most women out there prattle on and on about themselves with no regard to the guy in front of them. Show your date you're different and he will be hooked in no time!

How to Win Her Back If She Isn't Talking to You - 3 Tips For Dealing With the Silent Treatment

The silent treatment can be hard to deal with when you are in a relationship with a woman, but it can be even more difficult to deal with when she is your ex girlfriend and you have high hopes of being able to win her back. You might not see much reason to be optimistic about being able to get back with her if she happens to be giving you the silent treatment, but all is not lost. As long as you don't get too pessimistic and you find a way to get her talking to you a little bit, then you DO have a pretty good chance of being able to win her back.

Here are 3 tips if you are dealing with an ex girlfriend who is giving you the silent treatment:

1. You can't force her to talk to you, so don't even try to.

This is one of the mistakes that is easy to make. You want to hear her speak to you so badly, that you are willing to do just about anything to make that happen. However, if you try to force her to break that silence, you are going to be dealing with a woman who is resentful towards you and that is not a good thing at all.

2. Less is more.

One of the things that will make your ex girlfriend want to keep up that facade of acting like she doesn't want to speak to you is if you are trying to contact her way too often. You definitely don't want to come across like you are trying to stay in contact with your ex girlfriend all of the time. This is one of those situations where less contact can produce much better results, so don't think that it is a good thing to try and contact her a bunch of times. It's not.

3. She'll talk to you if she sees a new you.

This is something that almost always works to get an ex girlfriend talking to you again. If you find a way to come across as being "new" to her in a positive way, she is going to get curious about you. And the more curious that your ex girlfriend is, the more likely she is going to break that silence and want to speak to you again. She may just want to see what you have been up to or what the change is all about, but it will get her talking to you again and from there you can work on winning back your ex girlfriend.



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Thursday, November 22, 2012

How To Make Out With A Girl in Two Steps

I know that most guys are afraid when they are asked to talk with a hot girl over there. Yeah, that's a normal feeling. Actually, there are guys out there who don't have any courage at all to look at the girl who they really want to date with. Well, people are different. I know it, and you know it as well.

What I'm going to tell you here is that a trick that has been buried for a long time, regarding how to make out with a girl. Of course, this trick can only be used by those who are brave enough to approach a girl. If you are generally nervous toward girls, then I can assure you that this trick won't work on you. However, you can still learn something from this. And I encourage you to do so because it will help you to step forward from a nervous guy into a comfortable guy around girls. Trust me.

The trick itself involves talking with the girl who you want to make out with. Let's suppose that her name is Susan and she is your co-worker. She's not too close to you, but nevertheless you have good communication with her. Then, how can you date her? Are you just telling her that you want to date her? Of course, it's not going to work like that, unless she's already attracted to you in the first place. So, what you need to do here?

If you want to date Susan, then you should do something that will make her attracted to you. Most people are attracted with someone who has similar interests as them. This is a simple psychological truth and I'll tell you that the trick I will mention in this article will be about creating similarities with her. How can you do that? You can do it by tuning yourself to her.

Step one. You need to find her interests. Of course, you'll act as a detective here and try to converse with her about many things. You'll make note about what she likes the most. Thus, the first step is to start a conversation with her. Let it become a natural conversation. Your objective is to find out her interests and you'll take note on those.

Step two. Find out which of her interests resonate with yours. You know, not all things that she likes you'll like. So, you need to find out the things that both of you like. Use this as the basis of your next conversation with her. So basically, this is the elementary step in your approach that will be geared toward building attraction in her.

Next, you have to keep the momentum going. The more you talk with Susan, the more attractive you'll be to her. That's because you have similar interests with her. When the attraction level is enough for you to move forward, you can ask her out for a date. It's as simple as that.

The Do's and Don'ts of a Workplace Love Affair

It's not unusual for two people who are in the same workplace to fall in love. Critics would say it is for convenience since both parties won't have to adjust to different work schedules or different locations. There might be some truth to it but more than convenience, creating relationship with someone in the same workplace as yours root from something else. Given that you spend more time around each other's presence, you both get to know more about each other - what makes her smile or captures her attention and what can frustrate him and how he reacts to things.

Probably everyone of us knows someone who met his or her life partner at work but not all love affairs in the workplace work though. Some last through their lifetime while some, unfortunately, end for various reasons.

Are you in or about to enter a love affair in the workplace? Here are some do's and don't to help you get by.

Do's

  • Do consider company rules. Some companies prohibit workers from having relationships while currently employed by them so check out your employee handbook or employment contract before you and your co-worker walk together in love.

  • Do maintain professionalism at work. It's not wrong to demonstrate your love to your partner while in the workplace, but remember to reserve those playful and naughty gestures for your alone time, or at least at the end of your work hours. You wouldn't want to get caught by your boss flirting with your partner when you are instead doing your work, do you?

Don'ts

  • Don't take advantage of your position in the company. If you are in the managerial position and your partner is under your leadership, don't use your power for his or her advantage. Exercise fairness in the company and give your people the credit (or sanction) due to them. If your partner deserves a raise or promotion, then do so but don't cover him/her up when s/he did something prohibited. After all, a good partner should inspire you to become a better person, not encourage or tolerate wrong doings.

  • Don't bring relationship issues at work and vice versa. This is perhaps one of the most common problems affecting relationships. Difficult but it is important to avoid mixing personal and work matters to make the relationship work and still be able to do your job effectively. If you are stressed due to office problems, don't take it out on your partner. Alternatively, if you are having issues with your partner, try not to let it affect your productivity in the office.

Love affairs in the workplace can be challenging yet something you cannot avoid when it hits you. Just don't let your emotions rule over your judgment.



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How to Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back - You Don't Stand Much of a Chance If You Are Just Her Friend

This is something that you really just have to accept as being the truth if you want to get back with your ex girlfriend and that is, you don't stand much of a chance of being able to get her back if you end up being stuck in the friend zone with her. Once you allow the dynamic to change like that, you are going to find that it becomes harder and harder to make her see you as being anything more than just a friend. While it may feel good to know that you are still "friends" with her, at some point it isn't going to feel so good when you realize that she doesn't even consider getting back with you a possibility.

Why It Doesn't Work to Be Her Friend -

Unlike guys, most women won't cross the line between friendship and something more and if they do, they usually put a lot of thought into it beforehand. With a guy, we'll cross that line without giving it much though, as long as we think she is attractive enough to make it worth it. Most women don't think like that and the moment that you try to be your ex girlfriend's friend is the moment that she no longer considers dating you a possibility. Sure, she'll hang out with you and call you on the phone, but you have next to no chance of being able to progress things with her as long as you are just her friend.

What You Should Be Doing Instead -

Instead of trying to be her friend and allowing her to talk your ear off about things that you don't want to hear about, you have to find a way to make some clear boundaries with her. She has to know that you are not someone that she can talk about guys she likes with. The moment that you hear your ex girlfriend try to get your advice on a guy she likes, that should be a moment where you realize that things definitely are NOT progressing the way that you want them to. However, when you have clear boundaries with her and you don't try to be her friend that she can gab about those kinds of things with, then you do still have some chance of being able to win her back.

That is, as long as you know what techniques work to make her feel like she is still very much attracted to you.



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Fake Profiles: The Bane of Online Dating

We've all seen them before. Those profiles that look almost too good to be true, chock full of airbrushed pictures of supermodel caliber people. You wonder, "why is this person on a dating site?" and then quickly abandon the thought because it makes you feel like there's something wrong with you for dating online. And the words... they read as if the person is literally inside of your head, spying on your very thoughts. The similarities and mutual interests are almost uncanny. The eyes don't look like they belong to a serial killer so you decide to give it a shot and send them a message.

Albeit a long-shot you click on the "send" button. What the heck, right?

This is it. Maybe, just maybe, you've found the perfect person.

Wow - they responded to the message! They liked your profile and indicated that they hadn't found anyone yet. You do the "Carleton Dance" because you're so happy! You take your time as you respond, making sure to craft the perfect message back. Then you consider timing. Don't want to seem too anxious but also don't want to let the opportunity slip. After all, this person is absolutely hot and others are surely sending them messages as well.

The emails start off slow at first and then there's something in there that really sparks your interest and you decide to delve further into this new person. It's time to move the conversation offline and to a more intimate medium - the phone. You get just a little antsy about the first call. What's their voice going to sound like? Will it match how their profile looks? No worries... it does! Matter of fact, the conversation is one of the best you've ever had with anyone, including in person. No dead spots, smooth transitions and lengthy talks for hours that don't even feel like it.

The vibe is growing so you begin to drop hints about meeting in person. The object of your affection flirts around with the idea - which makes you want to meet them even more! You both plan for something in the near future and that satisfies you for the moment. Let's say a week goes by after you've both acknowledged the need to meet but the other person hasn't taken action yet. After a while, you begin to think that too much time is elapsing so you're just forthright about it and ask for formal plans.

Then, one of two things happens. Either communication slows to a snail's pace and eventually drops off completely... or their tone changes a bit and they begrudgingly agree to meet. To keep the story going, let's assume the latter happened.

You chalk up what you believe is a bit of hesitation on their part to nerves and reassure them that you really like them and that you don't think the vibe is going to be different when you finally meet. And then... the day arrives.

Perhaps they don't look anything like their profile at all. You wonder how on earth they had the audacity to post a profile of someone completely different but try not to bring it up. You just plan your escape route throughout the date and try to muffle the sense of disappointment you feel about investing so much time into someone that wasn't honest with you.

Or, the likelier scenario... is that it's obvious the profile they posted was how they looked five years or fifty pounds ago.

Your opinion of online dating is forever marred and you vow that you're going to cancel your subscription to the dating site and just try it the conventional way again.

Fake profiles are, in fact, the very bane of every online dating site. Unfortunately, the crimes of a few tend to taint the opinions of many. It doesn't have to be that way though! One way of permanently thwarting the fake profile is for online sites to move to the next logical phase... video profiles! They have the potential to change the dating game forever because they force members into accepting themselves for who they are and portraying that to others.

Ultimately, this is exactly what needs to happen for online dating to continue to evolve. People need to accept who they are, flaws and all, and have some confidence in themselves and the ability of others to see beyond what they might perceive as imperfections. And people that are looking for perfection need to get over themselves and look for what's really important in a person. That can't happen without a forum that strips away the artificiality of online dating and forces people to be real.

If you belong to the unscrupulous crowd that hasn't been honest in the past, put all your cards on the table and stop posting fake profiles. They do nothing but waste everyone's valuable time and unnecessarily tarnish the reputation of online dating. And if you're serious enough about finding love online, don't hide behind the mask of the computer screen. Let people know exactly who they're dealing with. It's only fair and best to be upfront rather than to delay the inevitable that will surely result from lying.



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Wednesday, November 21, 2012

The Approach That Triggers Attraction

Are you tired of being seen as a just friend zone type of man. Here's a quick way to prevent that perception from the very beginning. This approach is based on evolutionary biology and psychology that's built into every women's DNA and bodily chemistry.

She's preprogrammed to respond to signals of male dominance. When it comes to sexual attraction, that biological programming is in charge and all logic goes right out the window. Biologically she has no choice in the matter. Historically if she made the wrong choice her very survival and that of any potential offspring were at extreme risk, so her biology and internal chemical message system is rigged to be attracted to men who show certain alpha dominant traits. You show those traits and you're sexual attractiveness skyrockets. And her entire perception of who you are as a man is framed in the first few minutes (actually seconds) of your initial connection.

When you first notice her show dominance by making direct eye contact while showing a sincere smile and hold it for about 3 seconds. If attracted she will return the smile and glance away within that time frame. If instead of glancing to the side or returning her gaze back to her friends she glances down first, she's showing she recognizes your dominance with a submissive subconscious reaction. That's a signal your gaze and smile triggered the first spark of attraction.

At that point it's important to further demonstrate your confidence and dominance by immediately making a direct approach. The point isn't to engage her fully but simply to show you're interested as well as unafraid and to make a quick good first impression and nothing more. The best way to insure you come across as dominant (thus a sexual man) and not just gaming her is to make a connection and then break it off quickly and give her time to wonder about you.

Attraction is very much not much more than a form of curiosity. You can continue the conversation later and it will be easier and even more welcome if you make your initial contact and then give her space and time.

A dominant man shows no fear of approaching a woman, so you must move in for the initial contact right away once she's shown the signs of submissive attraction, no matter how attractive she may be. In fact, a dominant man demonstrates more of that quality the more attractive she is, as it also signifies her beauty is not in the least intimidating.

When you make an quick initial contact and then leave and go about your own socializing or whatever you were doing for a while, you're signaling you're independent, busy and sociable. It also reverses the pattern she's used to where it's obvious when a guy is trying to hit on her, he'll often overstay that initial welcome, even if she showed a slight bit of initial interest. So be the exception and give her space and time to wonder and the attraction will build.

It's also important to be mindful of body posture as a dominant male shows it most clearly with a tall erect stance. One way to take on that kind of posture is to imagine a steel cable running through your head into your spine pulling up as if it's attached to a crane overhead. Stride (do not walk or shuffle) directly to her and say literally anything without self-doubt as you already know she's shown the first signals of attraction. Something as simple as "Hi, Only have a minute, but just want to make sure you didn't get away before we had a chance to meet." Give her a minute to reply, then excuse yourself, mention you might like to talk a bit later and return to whatever you were doing before you noticed her. And that's it.

Later you can reengage her to get her number or start a deeper conversation and you'll find she'll likely be far more warm as while you were busy elsewhere, if you did it right, she'll have been thinking about you or watching you out of the corner of her eye waiting for you to return, if she doesn't approach you herself. She might as you made the required initial response which gives her permission in her own mind to do so without feeling she's being overly assertive and unfeminine.

That simple and brief encounter sets up the chemistry and initial flutters of sexual butterflies which is the whole point and what is most critical to establish the frame of all future interactions with her. Attraction is sparked and you've established yourself as a sexually confident man.

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Is Online Dating the Answer If You Want a Girlfriend?

Wanting a girlfriend can be a confusing thing, because the more you want one, the harder it seems to be able to actually attract one. Not only that, you might also feel like you really don't have many options to turn to if you are looking to meet women, so that can make things seem harder. One of the things that you might consider is to try your hand at online dating. You've probably heard that there are many couples that have met that way and it might make you wonder if that is going to be the answer for you.

So, is online dating the answer if you want a girlfriend?

It may be. The one thing that you shouldn't do is to think that it is the ONLY option for you. I think it is a great thing to try out, but you shouldn't close yourself off to other possibilities. There are so many available places to go to meet women, that it would be a shame to close yourself off to all of them just because online dating sounds like a good choice.

Here are some tips that will help you out if you do want to use online dating sites to try to find a girlfriend:

1. Your profile is going to make or break you most of the time.

If there is one reason why some guys get no attention on dating sites and some guys get lots of attention, I'd say that it all comes back to the strength of their online dating profile. The sexier it is, the more it attracts attention, the more likely it is that you are going to end up attracting a woman who you'll be able to go out on a date with. This is not something that you want to take lightly. Spend some time sprucing that profile up if you want to attract female eyes.

2. Learn to use emotion in your writing.

You are going to do some writing if you try your hand at dating online. You are going to use writing in your actual profile, and you are also going to use writing when you first communicate with a woman. Being able to use emotion is key, because it is way too easy to write things that come across as being totally bland and boring. If you happen to get the chance to instant message a woman, you want to knock her socks off, not bore her to tears. So, you might want to practice your writing a bit, so that you don't run the risk of coming across kind of boring.



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7 Ways To Date A Cougar

Many people may wonder how to date a cougar. If you are looking for a cougar there are many reasons why one would stick out in the crowd. When people think of a cougar, they often think of a beautiful, sophisticated woman with a high sexual libido. Women that are older know more of what they want in a relationship including their desires and needs.

Men's sexual stamina is at top peak in their 20's, but when men get older their sexual stamina tends to slow where a women's is just coming in full when they hit the 30's and 40's age range. Women along with men hit a mid-life crisis where they want to have the feeling of being young again. Women think about the younger generation and start thinking about being with younger men. Many younger men are free without strings attached unlike older men. They have an outgoing personality and like to explore new things. If you are a man who has wondered how to date a cougar here are some tips to use.

1. Treat Her Very Well

Treat her good all the time and she will take more interest in you. Give her many compliments about the way she acts looks and dresses, be polite and courteous to her, take notice in the little details about her.

2. Make Her Feel Young

Make her feel like she is young by treating her as if you would treat a woman your same age. Try not to let her age come into account when you are out with her. Compliment her with things such as her intelligence.

3. Look for Places to Find Cougars

Go to dating websites and other places where cougars may be waiting to meet someone. Dating websites will allow you to be in the comfort of your own home while finding that special person. Most of the time on a dating site, you will not have to try hard because they will be waiting to come to you.

4. Offer Her Brand New Experiences

Try giving her new experiences that she never had when she was younger. There are many ways to make the relationship interesting in this way. Take her skydiving, to a concert, or something else that she wished she would have did before.

5. Do not be too Controlling

Women that are older and more independent do not like it when a guy comes into their life and orders them around. Try to be thoughtful and take her opinions into account.

6. Give her that Young Feeling Again

Think of activities that will make her feel like she is young once more such as going out together with friends that are of a younger age or another event.

7. Make sure your Expectations are Alike

Talk and make sure you have things in common and think the same. This is good to know you have the same feelings about issues. Get to know what she wants from the relationship, so you know that you want to continue being with her.

These tips will help someone to learn how to date a cougar. Each individual will have their own way of doing this, but any information that will help will be a useful advantage.

Dating Advices

Dating

Looking for dating tips or dating advice? It can be difficult to find people in your life to date if you do not know where to look or how to go about it. Here are some things you can do to start a relationship with someone new today.

Go Out Often

One dating tip is to just go out often with friends to clubs and other places where people hang out. This is an easy way to meet someone new and you can easily start a relationship with a new person. If you do not go out it is going to be difficult to meet new people in your life. Visit coffee shops, go to movies, visit a bar, go to the library, and so on. Just strike up casual conversations with people you meet. Take the dog to a park and you will be amazed at how many people come up to you and want to know more about you and your dog. People love animals and it is a natural ice breaker when you have a pet with you to talk to someone new.

Be Yourself

If you want to start a relationship with someone and you are dating for the first time then there is one thing you can do to make the date go well. The best piece of dating advice you can get is to just be yourself. Do not pretend to be someone you are not to impress someone else. Just relax and be yourself on the date. It is not a good idea to pretend to be someone you are not because the other person will find out eventually. This is good relationship advice so use it when out there dating.

Try online dating

One of the best dating tips you can use it to try online dating. Some people might think this is poor dating advice but it is easier to meet people online. When dating online you do not have the pressure of that first date and you can spend a long time getting to know someone before you actually go out on a date. You can chat and discuss your life with the other person and find out if you are a match or not. This is a great way to start a new relationship. One dating tip for online dating is to make sure you have a recent decent image of yourself when you join a dating site. Make sure that you fill out your information fully and provide a good profile so people can find out what you are all about.

Avoid Games

Perhaps the biggest piece of relationship advice you can get is to pay attention to the feelings of the other persona and avoid all the games. No one wants to be misled in a relationship or have their emotions toyed with. Keep this dating tip in mind when meeting new people.

You Can Meet and Date People With Ease

When dating just be yourself and have fun. Be sure you go our often and do not play games with people's emotions. Use this dating advice and you will find someone new and hopefully have a lasting relationship with that person.