Monday, November 5, 2012

How to Get Ex Back - Why Revenge Is Not the Best Answer

Some people wonder if revenge is the answer when it comes to getting an ex back. Will making your ex boyfriend or your ex girlfriend jealous make them want to come back to you? If they see you with someone else, will they realize just how much they miss you?

They may or they may not. The truth is, revenge on an ex is risky and sometimes it's not worth giving it a try if you're trying to figure out how to get an ex back. It's normal though, to feel like you just want some payback because your ex has hurt you. But you don't want to ruin your chances of getting them back in your life, do you?

Revenge will give you nothing but temporary satisfaction. Sure, seeing the look on your ex's face when you walked in the room with someone else is priceless. You may think you're in control of the situation and even have the urge to say "in your face!" But what if your ex felt relieved because it means they can move on as well? Or what if they take it personally and try to date someone else too just to hurt you? Will you still feel smug and in control?

Other reasons why revenge is not a good idea

· You will be filled with more negative emotions. If you keep thinking about revenge then you're feeding off all the hurt and anger you're feeling. It will make it more difficult to heal and overcome your grief of losing your ex.

· You won't be a happier person. How can you be happy if your plan backfires and your ex decided it's time to move on? You just sabotaged your chances of trying to get your ex back.

· Revenge sex will only make you more regretful. Why? Because chances are, you will be thinking about your ex the whole time. So if you're thinking about being intimate with someone else just to get back at your ex, don't. Hurting your ex like this will make it more difficult to win back their affections.

· Revenge means you don't really love your ex. Sure, you were hurt by the breakup but there are reasons behind it. Things didn't work out and maybe you just need a break from each other. You never meant for it to happen. But revenge? That's something you meant to happen and nothing good comes out of intentionally hurting someone you love.

What can you do instead?

Instead of focusing on your negative emotions and plotting ways on how to make your ex pay, you may want to focus on forgiving yourself and your ex. You both made mistakes in the relationship and you've hurt each other. If you want to start on a clean slate then forgiveness is the answer.

When it comes getting an ex back, just remember that revenge may not be the best option. Don't waste your energy and efforts in something that will only risk your chances of getting back the love of your life. You're better than this and hurting your ex will only make them realize that maybe breaking up with you is a good idea after all.

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