Dynamics of Internet Genealogy

Genealogical research and the use of DNA strands have been used in the study of various families and the extensive tracing of their history and lineages. Many experienced genealogists and league of qualified scientists use the oral traditions, the usage of historical records, various genetic analysis and other extensive records to obtain information about the family they are conducting their report on and to also demonstrate the kinship and various level of pedigrees of the family's members. Majority of their results are commonly displayed in various written narratives or in charts. These results haven't been easy to come by though.

The pursuit of family history tends to be shaped by several motivations, including the desire to carve out a place for one's family in the larger historical picture, a sense of responsibility to preserve the past for future generations, and a sense of self-satisfaction in accurate storytelling.

Hobbyist genealogists typically pursue their own ancestry and that of their spouses. Professional genealogists may also conduct research for others, publish books on genealogical methods, teach, or produce their own databases.

They may work for companies that provide software or produce materials of use to hobbyist and other professional genealogists. Both try to understand not just where and when people lived, but also their lifestyles, biographies, and motivations.

Genealogists sometimes specialize in a particular group, e.g. a Scottish clan; a particular surname, such as in a one-name study; a small community, e.g. a single village or parish, such as in a one-place study; or a particular, often famous, person. The Bloodlines of Salem is an example of a specialized family-history group. The ideology has welcomed members who are able to prove descent from a participant of the Salem Witch Trials or who choose simply to support the group.

Genealogists and family historians often join family history societies, where novices can learn from more experienced researchers. Such societies may also index records to make them more accessible, and engage in advocacy and other efforts to preserve public records and cemeteries.

Are you keen upon discovering your own family tree? Do you ever wonder if you had a brother or sister or a relative you haven't had a clue existed? You can look up your family tree on these sites One Great Family and Ancestry.ca. They offer great services and also offer discounts on their services via coupons. So make the most of their service and visit the links above.

Getting Back With Your Ex - Give Your Relationship A Second Chance

Are you looking for sure-fire methods to get back with your ex?

For the past few months, your relationship had been going through a rough patch. Communication had ceased. You no longer opened your heart to your partner. Days were filled with constant unexplained arguments. Not only this, you sensed that your boyfriend or girlfriend did not display the same affection and understanding he or she did earlier; there was something else on their mind. When things got worse, instead of talking it out, you both decided to walk out of the relationship. A relationship of months and years crumbled in a matter of a few minutes.

Sometimes a break-up in a relationship is justified. However, in most cases break-ups are a result of trivial issues. Such relationships deserve a second chance and can be mended provided you give them a chance.

So, how are you going to resolve things and be successful at getting back with your ex? You can find out below.

Clues to indicate you should not work at getting back with an ex

• Trust is the main element in any healthy relationship. If your boyfriend or girlfriend has betrayed your trust in the past, it may be a hint you should not reconsider reviving this relationship.


• You can try to re-establish communication with your ex, but if he or she does not respond favorably, it implies you should move on.


• If your ex does not intend to improve the things that happened between the two of you, to learn from mistakes or change for the better, it is a sign that this relationship is better ended.


• Abuse should not be tolerated at all. If you walked out of a relationship because your ex was physically, mentally or emotionally abusive, I strongly advise that you wrap up your past relationship and move on.

Tips on getting back with your ex

• You will have to start with self grooming. Be neat and tidy in your appearance. Dress well. Be confident about what you do and how you look. Working on yourself will make you look attractive and be a good distraction as you overcome your grief. You should project a better public self image and try to show that you are not needy.


• The next step to getting back together with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend is reflection of your past relationship. Think about how things were and what lead to this break-up. If it was your attitude or a specific personality trait that caused problems, you can change and make improvements.


• Wait for a few weeks before you re-establish communication with your ex. You can contact your ex informally either by means of an email, text message or instant message.


• Decide on a day when you can meet each other in person. On the day of the meeting dress up in clothes that your ex liked and wear his or her favorite perfume. Your aim should be to look prim, proper and appealing.


• Your attitude, talk and actions should be casual but not the "I don't care"type. After a few meetings over a cup of coffee, lunch or dinner, you could broach the subject of your break-up. You can probably reconcile and ask for forgiveness for any of your actions that caused trouble in your past relationship.


• Instead of pushing him or her to get back together, start by being good friends. Indulge in activities you enjoyed doing as a couple. It will bring back past memories and you'll get closer.


• Finally, when you think that the time is right, you can go ahead and ask your partner about the possibilities of getting back together. If they agree, fantastic! You can work at cementing and strengthening your relationship. However, you should also be prepared for the worst. It is not certain that your ex will respond positively. If they don't want to rekindle the relationship, it is OK; you can continue to be good friends.

The Right Balance of Attention Paid

This is particularly relevant to consider in dealing with those who could be considered possessive - the anxiously attached. I find that sense of spiritual identity in me, to a certain extent, and so I'm therefore 'qualified' to write on this - about how others have successfully interacted with me, for example.

Sometimes it is appropriate (read, "helpful") to give someone a lot of attention - to feed their gaping desire for love, but much of the time we do not love them best (or, we simply do not love them) by placating them. Placating, or appeasing, may be more about our own anxious needs than theirs.

Each person must be encouraged to sink or swim of their own accord; to take responsibility for their own lives.

We shouldn't go on and on rescuing people, as we do them harm by creating a circumstance of reliance.

The foreseeable exceptions are these:

IN GRIEF:

When someone's been stricken by a loss of any kind we could expect them to cling to a safe mooring (in us) as they weather the storm of their grief.

They'll need someone or a couple of people with whom to rest with and journey with.

Within the acuteness of grief's pain there should be solace in connecting with people if that is the need. But equally, as carers, we need to discern when to leave people as they are to do their own processing. Again, we need to ask ourselves, "Who are we really trying to support when we desire to help people?" Sometimes people try and support others out of their own needs in order to feel good. But in this scenario, no one benefits.

IN GROWTH:

When people intentionally put themselves in the path of growth and learning - because God has kindled their hunger - they may be safely attached to a mentor for specific guided activities.

Both parties of this mentoring arrangement are blessed. That's the guide that all is working well. Whenever there is an encumbrance on one party, a burden so-to-speak, it's no longer about growth; and an unhealthy dependence has formed.

But when growth is at the forefront, we can afford to pour our attention into people.

***

Balancing the giving of attention is the art of wisdom in relationships. We shouldn't neglect people, nor should we rescue them. Each has to live their life without depending on other people too much. But when people are suffering and they need us, any positive attention we give them, at the time, is good attention.

We shouldn't rescue people from situations they should be handling themselves, with two exceptions: in grief and in growth. The grieving need our support, and the growing need our encouragement. Balancing the attention we pay to people is a mark of discerned wisdom.

© 2013 S. J. Wickham.

Dating Tip Safety: Five Warning Signs That Someone Could Be A Fake!

In this day and age of technology and limited time, more and more of us who are single, will turn to online dating to try to find someone special.

The challenge with online dating is that someone can say anything to grab your attention,whether it's true or not and may not necessarily be the person in the photos that are posted. You can be virtually anyone online by typing up clever lines and grabbing good looking photos from a Google Image search for example.

So how in the world can you be sure who you are talking to is really who you think it is? The first step is to listen to your gut instinct, if something does not seem quite right, it is probably not. From there you may have to put on your online investigator hat and do some research. For now, check out the following common warning signs below.

Online Dating Warning Sign Number One

Their profile is very well written but their communication skills with you are the pits. Have you ever run across a profile that is masterfully written, so much so, that even a member of the grammar police would be proud? It says just the right things that you want to hear in the right places and because their writing skills are above average, you figure that they must possess the Master's degree they claim to have earned. But you notice that when they communicate with you through instant message or by text that they use shorthand, frequently misspell words and use improper grammar. Their messages don't feel like it could have come from the same person. What's up with that?

It may be that they were just putting their best foot forward in the written portion of their profile or had it professionally written from a questionnaire they filled out. Or, they may have copy and pasted it from someone else's profile, meaning they are a fraud.

Online Dating Warning Sign Number Two

They only want to Instant Message or have a Google phone number to mask their real number. Someone who doesn't want you to really know who they are may ask you to instant message with them on a service like Yahoo. There's nothing wrong with instant messaging to start off a conversation. However, if that is their only form of communication, that should set off a red flag. With a legitimate email address you can search and get their IP address to verify their location and make sure it matches where they claim to live. You should be able to Google search using their phone number to also verify the location and make sure they are being truthful.

Someone who doesn't want you to have their email address or phone number that could be traced to prove their location is probably up to no good.

Online Dating Warning Sign Number Three

The person you're chatting with is giving you conflicting stories. There is an old saying "You don't have to remember the truth." This means that if you ask someone the same question, you should get the same honest answer. Recently, someone I was chatting with told me that they were Catholic and I thought "That's strange, their profile says Protestant." It could be that when filling out their profile, they selected the wrong box, however either way that set off my radar detector and it needed to be questioned. Keep your ears open and listen to make sure everything seems consistent with their profile and any past conversations you have had.

Online Dating Warning Sign Number Four

The person you are interested in has given you their name, location, profession and phone number but you cannot validate or verify any of the information. With all the social media sites and business web sites, you would think that you would be able to find them in at least a few search results, wouldn't you? If someone says they are a successful artist but there is nothing about them online with their name, location and at least a few images of their work, I would be suspicious. Are their giving you a fake name, information or location and if so, why?

Online Dating Warning Sign Number Five

They want more of your photos, information about you or a web cam chat but do not offer to reciprocate. When someone is fishing or phishing for more information about you but won't reciprocate, that's a warning sign. They may be gathering all the info they can to charm you in the future into giving them something, or worse. If someone wants you to chat via web cam, insist that they do it to, or if they want more info or photos of you, ask for the same in return. After all, if they are honest and legitimate, fair is fair right?

There are additional warning signs that can come up. These are just a handful of them. Just remember the rule of thumb is if something doesn't make sense or seem right, it may not be.

A few quick things you can do early on to protect yourself from scammers and fakes is to use some free online resources.

First, make Google your best friend and search their screen name, instant message name, or anything else they give you to contact them. Check out dating scam web sites and see if they are listed or if their dating pitch sounds awfully familiar to any listed.

Second, use Google Image Search to verify that the pix you're drooling over don't belong to any celebrities and seem like they are really the person you think they are. You can right click on an image and copy the image's URL code to put into the Google Image Search. Or, what I do, is right click on an image and Save a Copy of it. Then I click on the Google camera icon and upload it.

Google will return search engine images that seem similar of that will match it. If your hottie appears to have the same face as a celebrity or other popular person, you'll know you probably have been communicating with an imposter. Voila! (I've caught two people using images that weren't them myself recently using this tool)

Last, once you have their email address, send them an email and if you get one in return, you can run it through a IP address search engine that you can find online for free. Search: With an IP address, you can usually validate what city or state the email come from.

You can also search for any key words they use, their screen name or name they've given through web sites that expose scam artists.

By taking care to listen to your gut and to do some light private detective work online, you can help ensure that you're speaking to the person you think you are, and if not, find out early on so you don't waste a lot of time with them or become a victim of crime.

How to Make Your Ex Boyfriend Miss You Like Crazy So He Will Want You Back

Wanting to make an ex boyfriend feel like he misses you like crazy generally means that you are not really over him and that you would like to be able to have a chance at getting back together with him and start a new relationship that will last. It's only natural that if you feel like you miss him badly, that you would want him to feel the same exact way that you do. If you feel like you have already tried many things to make him feel like he misses you like crazy, you are not alone. However, just because you have tried many things, it doesn't mean that you have tried the right things.

Here's how to make your ex boyfriend miss you like crazy:

1. He can't really miss you if you have not gone away, so you need to be low key and not have much of any contact with him for a little while.

Have you ever spent time away from someone and found that during that time away from them, you realized just how important that they were to you? I am sure that you have, you might even be going through that right now when you think about your ex boyfriend. If you want to make him feel as though he misses you like crazy, then you have to cut off contact with him for a little while so that he DOES get to sense your absence in his life.

2. He'll be a lot more likely to miss you if you seem to be happier without him.

It's funny that it can work out this way, but quite often, it does. When you give him the impression that without him in your life, you are happier, it's going to make him think about you. He might be wondering why you are coming across that way or he might just be curious as to what you are doing now that you and he have broken up. This is good because you want to stay in the back of his mind.

3. Knowing that you are improving yourself can also make him feel like he is missing you.

Another good thing to do if you want to make your ex boyfriend feel as though he is missing you is to improve things in your life so that you come across as even more attractive to him than you did before. When an ex boyfriend sees that you are improving your life and your situation, it is going to make him want to be a part of that and that is going to help in making him feel as though he misses being with you.

Seduce and Conquer Women - 3 Tips

Dear Friend,
Are you:

• Tired of being ignored or rejected by women?
• Tired of playing second best to other guys?
• Tired of having to aim low to score?
• Tired of being alone?
• Tired of having no power in your existing relationship?
• Tired of having no control over how women respond to you?
• Tired of seeing a beautiful woman walking down the street with some guy who ain't half the man you are and thinking "how the hell did he get her?"

• Frustrated because you don't have sex as much as you'd like?

If you are in any of these situations then keep reading, your life is about to dramatically change...

For starters, let me give you...

3 Free Tips To Pick Up Women Now

# 1: Do Not Act Like the "Nice Guy"

Gentlemen, please understand that when it comes to attracting, meeting and seducing beautiful women, "nice guys" will always finish last. Women do not want to date a "nice guy." She wants be with a confident and cocky guy who has personality and lots of attitude. Nice guys are too easy for her and fall into that dreaded "friend" category. Women want a guy who is NOT easy and when you're the "nice guy", women automatically think you're easy.

Have you ever noticed that all the hot, sexy women out there never seem to be dating or attracted to a "nice guy?" and to make matters worse doesn't it seem like all these beautiful babes are dating guys that are jerks?

Better yet...

Have you ever noticed that it's always the girls that you are not interested in that are suddenly interested in you?

Why?

Exactly, because you were not interested in them and you were not trying to be overly nice or sweet to them.

Women don't like "nice" guys. They are all too easy for her. Beautiful women, gentlemen, want a challenge! Always remember that!

They want to be intrigued when they first meet you; they want to be kept on their toes,

They want a challenge.

You have to learn how to give her that challenge...

# 2: Don't Give Her a Compliment When You First Meet Her

What do most guys do the first time they meet a woman? Exactly they pay them a compliment or try to be the "sweet guy" The sweet guy is worse than the nice guy. Not only does it give her no challenge it actually turns her off from you. She will dislike you if you approach her and give her a compliment. Women don't want to hear compliments and they don't want to hear pick up lines. You will seem like a desperate loser in her mind because you are too interested in her and you're much too easy for her.

Why?

Because women live for the thrill of the chase, the second they know they can have you, they will not want you anymore. Compliments and pick up lines backfire in your face. She might smile and laugh but in the back of her mind she's laughing at you, not with you! It's all a game and you have to learn how to play it!

There are 3 phases to the game...

The First Phase - Begins when you first meet her...

The Second Phase - Begins right after you have sex with her...

The Third Phase - Begins when you get into a serious relationship with her...

# 3: Don't Sell Yourself to Her

Most guys meet a girl and realize that she's a little apprehensive and then, the first thing they do is try to convince the girl to feel comfortable around them and to like them. Never try to convince a woman to like you. If she's not attracted to you convincing her or persuading her to like you will turn her further away from you! Most guys meet a girl and try to SELL them the idea of being with him. Attraction cannot be sold gentlemen; it can be created but not sold. Don't try to convince women to like you.

The more you try to convince her, the less she will like you. Create the attraction you desire by being the opposite of what she expects!

How Do I Make Her Want Me Again? 3 Things That You Have to Do

Making someone feel like they want you again is not something that you are taught by anyone. It's one of those things that you are expected to figure out as you go along and that's not an easy task. When that person that you want back is an ex girlfriend, it's easy to end up feeling anxious at the thought that you might get it wrong and that you might not be able to make her want you again. However, don't feel like it is something that you can't do, because with the right tips, you can make an ex girlfriend feel like she wants to be with you once again.

Here are three things that you have to do if you want her to want you again:

1. You have to make her feel like she is not being forced to get back together with you.

Some guys get this wrong without even meaning to make their ex girlfriend feel like they are trying to force her to come back. What they do is, they end up making her feel like they are laying on the guilt trip really thick and when you do that, it IS going to make her feel like you are trying to force her to come back to you. Lay off of the guilt trips, because guilt doesn't work so well if you want to make an ex girlfriend want to be with you again.

2. You have to find a way to give her the feeling like love is in the air when she is around you.

You know that feeling when you first met your girlfriend and you knew that there was a feeling of love in the air when you and her were together? That kind of feeling is hard to resist and that is exactly the feeling that you want to give your ex girlfriend when she is around you. If she feels that way, getting her back is going to be so much easier than you ever imagined it would be.

3. You have to be able to give her space when she needs it.

Your ex girlfriend is probably going to go through moments where it seems like she is pulling back from you even if you are doing everything the way that you should be to win her back. When that happens, you need to give her space so that she feels like she is being allowed to be independent of you.

The Secret of How to Get Women Is Revealed!

How to get women, is a very common question asked by men. Men think it is quite hard to impress a lady. But the truth is, if you follow some basic rules, you can get her very easily. You just need to focus on what girls feel attractive and once you have the answers, work on them! Women are not complex like the way men think. Women just expect more and hide their expectations. The man who's capable of knowing her secrets will win her heart. Read the unsaid words from a girl's mind, she is yours forever!

Points to keep in mind:

1. Make her smile

If you want to get a girl, you need to learn how to make her smile. This is one of the most important lessons you need to learn. If you bring smile to her face, someday she will bring you to her heart! A woman gives a genuine smile only with the person she is comfortable with. Only a man of her dreams can make her smile!

2. Make her feel comfortable

Always try to make her feel comfortable. If she is comfortable with you, then only you can think of proceeding with her. If she is not even comfortable talking with you, it is very difficult to impress her. How to get women is often asked by men. And, the answer is very simple. Make her feel secure and dependent on you, that's the magic trick!

3. Women die for intelligent men

If you want to impress a lady, start working out those gray matters! Women go crazy about men with common sense. Women want their man to be smart and intelligent. You should learn to handle difficult situations with ease. You should understand basic things very easily. This is how you will get a woman.

4. Groom yourself

Only brains and no looks, will never pull the girl towards you. So, it is better to groom yourself a bit. You should have a good dressing sense. Women notice things in detail. So, it will be better if you try to improve your looks department!

5. Be a challenge to her

If you want to know how to get women, then you have to be a challenge to her. Never make an impression that you are dying to get her. Never ever show that you are a desperate dude, who is waiting for a girl to come and shine his life! Not even by mistake make this impression; otherwise you have no chance boy! Be a challenge to her. I know it is tough, but this is the way things work with girls!

6. Never ask questions which you are not supposed to

Girls like to keep their things personal. So, it is better not to try to put your hand inside the lioness den!

7. Respect her

A woman wants his man to respect her and give her importance. Listen to her problems. Another important thing, respect her independence!

Now and then, many men wonder how to get a woman. Getting a woman is not a mission. You just need to understand a woman and proceed. It is no game. Just be a little dedicated and work on some basic factors. You will surely get the woman of your dreams.

How To Balance Relationships Between Old And New Relations

We all have lots of friends and relations,
some new, some old.
Friends can be easily replaced,
at short notice, with some discomfort;
not so with relations.
We have to live with them, tolerate them, make compromises;
relations, old or new are long-term investments in life,
and spouse among them is a key figure, nearly indispensable,
in spite of increase in live-in relationships and divorces all around.

New relations should enhance the existing synergy, in the family;
which may not be always true,
as sharing of friends or relations, is not amicable in general.

We have old, sweet nostalgic memories,
of our childhood, growth, college days,
with old relations: parents, siblings,
which our new relations: spouse, in-laws,
may not value as much as we do.
The new relations, husband or wife too,
are more intimate and comfortable with,
their old relations: parents, siblings,
and less inclined towards their new found relations,
through the spouse, i.e. in-laws.

The new relations, newly wedded couple,
both husband and wife, have mutual expectations,
to be given supreme importance, in the new relationship;
over and above spouse's parents.
After marriage, spouses must live as per their choice,
with least interference by in-laws directly,
or indirectly by offering unsolicited advice,
and the new family should be self-reliant with full autonomy in life.

Among relations,
there is always rivalry, followed by jealousy;
human beings are possessive by nature.
Parents will be reluctant to accept,
secondary status in dealing with their son or daughter after marriage,
would like to retain the previous intimacy;
which will be rightly resisted by spouse,
and is not practical any more.
The new equation will be realised, but it may lag slightly;
and dilute harmony in the family.

If only we could learn,
that a new universe has begun, with a new relationship,
the husband and wife,
who, in the foot steps of Adam and Eve,
are about to begin the same journey,
to start a world of their own;
and if we could stop finding fault or offering suggestions endlessly,
to the newly wedded couple,
and let them explore the married life on their own,
there will be pleasant panorama in the families all over the world;
denied at present.
The young couple too could add harmony in the families,
by just loving and respecting the in-laws,
i.e. the spouse's parents and siblings;
and not cold shouldering, as at present..

It is not so easy, old traditions die hard,
it is carrying on like this, since time immemorial,
because we hardly believe in,
'do unto others what you want done unto you'.
Why can't we have equal friendship,
with old friends or relations of the spouse?

We are all imperfect human beings;
but we expect our loved ones to behave like perfect humans.
God has implanted, incorrigible imperfections in humanity,
to test our fortitude, our ability,
to discriminate right or wrong attitude,
and live in peace.

We have failed so far, in the history of our civilisation,
and there is no attempt, to correct it even now.
We failed in the past and we are destined to fail in future,
for we are not even aware of,
what is wrong;
the failure is prevalent,
in every household in the world,
and is painful.
The old and new relations are at loggerhead,
with deceptive peace, utter disregard to each other, camouflaged by civility.

May God bless us all,
to overcome 'duality' in our minds and actions;
duality i.e. who are mine, who are not,
whom I can love spontaneously, whom I can't,
with whom, I can share life and communicate, with whom I can't,
and resolve to give genuine, informal love to our in-laws;
same as we reserve for our own parents and siblings.

A Complete Overview of Therapy by Phone

Any type of psychological service that is performed over the phone is therapy by phone. This includes crisis hotlines, child help lines, quit lines and professional counseling. This type of therapy can range from individuals to couples or even groups with either professional therapists or para-professional counselors. Many patients who are in face-to-face therapy are often advised to use telephone crisis numbers when they cannot reach their therapist in an emergency.

Therapy by phone is a growing trend in which a number of psychologists and therapists are seeing at least some of the patients over the phone instead of in person. Current studies show that more than 50 percent of the patients that have had both phone therapy and in person therapy prefer to do it over the phone. In fact, during a 2002 study it was proven that the patients who prefer phone counseling tend to rate their doctors as highly as those who see their doctor face-to-face.

There are, of course, disadvantages and advantages to choosing therapy by phone. Let us start by reviewing the disadvantages first. For some, using phone therapy makes them feel like there is too much distance between themselves and their therapist. For these people, they may safer to be in the presence of another person.

Another large disadvantage is that, since the client can call from any location, they can easily be distracted from their phone call. On one hand, it can allow the therapist to have some insight to their patient's situation but at the same time, the disruptions may make it difficult for the patient to stay focused on the session.

In the event that the phone therapy takes place with an organization staffed by several employees or volunteers, such as a hotline, a repeat caller will not be able to develop the same relationship that they can with an individual. This may impede their progress especially since these type of organizations usually have limits on the number of calls that can be made in a specified period of time and the amount of time a call can last.

Typically patients that are going to require more than one weekly session, which are suicidal or who self-harm are not good candidates for therapy by phone. With the exception of the suicide hotline, many of these phone counselors are not trained to handle local emergencies.

Perhaps the largest advantage of therapy by phone versus in-person therapy is that it is free from the traditional constraining factors that can have an effect on therapy. For example, there are no restrictions on the location you can call from. If you have a busy schedule and need to call during a lunch break, you can arrange that with the therapist.

While therapy by phone is not for everyone, there are cases where it is the optimal type of therapy. Many studies have shown that this type of therapy can be especially effective for patients who are suffering with depression and are not motivated to leave their homes.

How to Win Over the Chinese Woman of Your Dreams

There are of course, a lot of challenges involved in initiating and nurturing a cross-cultural relationship. Additionally and cultural differences aside, you would also have to pass muster, so to speak. Chinese women have their own required standards, influenced by their culture and beliefs, that you would have to measure up to. What qualities do Chinese women most care for when looking for a potential mate?

Chinese women respect and find desirable a man with a good educational background. The higher your educational attainment, the more impressed she, and her family, will be. The Chinese put a high value on education because they associate this with a good reputation and a good future. You should understand that Chinese women have a tendency to evaluate their potential mate based on whether or not he would be able to give her a comfortable life and support his family, and if he would be a responsible and hard-working husband and father.

Despite the fact that China has become more open to western influence and Chinese women more liberal, relatively speaking, family traditions and especially the influence and opinion of parents are still very important. A man who is respectful of these aspects of Chinese culture and who also has good family values will find favor not only with a Chinese woman, but also with her family. You have to keep in mind that it is not enough to win over the Chinese woman of your choice; you also have to win over her family and gain the approval of her parents. Given the many and huge cultural differences, you also have to remember that most Chinese families are stubborn about adhering to their traditions and beliefs; if you want to be part of their family, they would expect you to make the adjustments.

Patience is another virtue that is most valued by Chinese women, in particular, and Chinese society, in general. Along with this is perseverance, which they associate with success. The best way to demonstrate both traits is when you are learning her language. Not only will she be touched that you want to learn how to speak Chinese, she will also be impressed when she sees how hard you are working to achieve your goal.

As they say, anything worth having is worth fighting for. If you really want to win the favor of the Chinese woman of your dreams, you also have to value everything that is important to her. Her family will be on the top of the list. It will definitely be a challenging task, proving to your Chinese love and her family that you are a worthy mate for her. You will have to convince them, not only with your words but also with your actions, that your intentions are pure and that you will take care of your Chinese love the way she deserves to be taken care of. Lastly, you will have to convince her that you will be loyal to her and will stay committed to the relationship.

If you have managed to overcome the hurdles of online Chinese dating, you will still have to keep working hard to keep your Chinese love happy and contented, especially if your goals for the relationship are long-term. Of course, every Chinese woman is unique and has unique preferences. Learn as much as you can about her, what she loves, what her expectations are, and what things are most important to her.

There are a lot of opportunities for you to find love and happiness even in a culture that is so different from yours. Just take the time to learn about this culture and appreciate all that it has to offer. Find out more at China Love Match.

Christian Counseling Versus Secular Counseling

The primary difference between secular counseling and Christian counseling is the authority of which the counselor is held accountable. Secular counselors are licensed by the state in which they practice and must strictly adhere to the rules that the state has in place. These counselors may not pray with their patients or discuss religion at all unless it is requested or initiated by the patient. They may not provide counsel against things including abortion and homosexuality.

In contrast, Christian counselors will answer to the church. They are required to ask for God's help, offer religious solutions to their patients and pray with them. This creates a sense of responsibility by the church to over the activities that these counselors engage in. These are the most distinct differences between the two types of counselors.

Secular counselors will normally have a master's degree. Many of them will hold a PhD too. A religious counselor will have a degree from a university that specializes in religion while a secular counselor will receive training from one of the state certified schools.

Secular or non-religious counseling is dyadic in nature. It is based solely on the relationship between the counselor and his or her patient. While it is effective in addressing both emotional and mental issues, it does not consider spiritual matters. Christian counseling is triadic in that it not only is about the relationship between the therapist and patient but also involves the patient's spirituality. For this reason, Christian counseling is unique.

These therapists not only work to provide guidance in resolving personal and emotional challenges, but also are trained specifically to the patient see themselves as God sees them and help them to learn to accept themselves how they are. They must be able to help their patients to live and exhibit behavior that is in line with what is written in the bible.

Secular counseling involves many different designations including L. P. C. (licensed professional counselor,) L. M. F. T. (licensed marriage and family therapist) and L. M. H. C. (licensed mental health counselor.) The same can be said for Christian counseling who also feature a variety of designations. Some of them include L. P. C. (licensed pastoral counselors,) L. C. P. C. (licensed clinical pastoral counselors) and C. C. C. (certified Christian counselors) to mention just a few.

When seeking counseling from a Christian counselor, ensure that he or she was trained and licensed by either a church or other similar organization that will hold them accountable for their actions. Two of the most renowned associations include the National Christian Counselors Association and the Board of Christian Counselors.

What really matters when selecting a counselor is that you find one that is truly motivated to help you. Do not be afraid to request a telephone conference first to find out more about the beliefs that your therapist has to ensure that you both share the same religious viewpoints and morals. Taking this time in the beginning can save a lot of time and trouble in your search for the right therapist.

Meet Australian Singles At Online Dating Sites

The world of online dating sites with Australian singles is very interesting to see. People can use one of many different dating sites to find Australian singles. Here's a look at a few of the top options for people to take a look at. These have their own different features but they might be of use to just about anyone looking for love down under.

Some places that allow Australian singles to meet each other can include details on individual singles. These include places that let people search through large databases of singles with a variety of different characteristics in mind. It's a useful tool considering the large wealth of Australian singles in the dating circuit.

It's never been easier to get pictures set up on these sites. Many of these online dating sites will let visitors send in their own personal photos through their computers or their social media profiles. People can use these pictures to confirm their identities at times.

Ice-breaking messages can also be sent to other people. This traditionally involves the use of a command to get in touch with someone by simply clicking on a particular icon or command. This will give a person access to someone's account with a brief message. This message should appear in a message box on the recipient's profile.

More singles are using these websites because they often include personality analysis tools. People can answer several questions on a site and have their personalities analyzed through a specific algorithm determined by the website. This is used to analyze the personality of a member with others to see who that person might be more compatible with.

Different sites may cater to different kinds of relationships that people want to have with each other as well. For example, some sites might focus on people who want to look for relationships that are made with long-term results in mind. These are particularly relationships that would result in marriage after a period of time. This is an interesting consideration but it is also one that may be of use for those who are looking for Australian singles for reasons well beyond friendship.

Sometimes a site might have a number of articles for members. Articles can cover many of the key topics and needs that people have for dating. The information on a site like this should be particularly notable for its details on everything that singles can do when finding each other.

The final thing to see about online dating sites is that they are free to use for the most part. There are some cases where people have to pay to get access to some of the advanced features on a site. However, these sites traditionally do not require contracts for certain periods of time.

The online dating sites that people can go to when finding Australian singles are interesting places to find. These options all have their own particular characteristics but are all made to give people the opportunities they want to find singles that they might potentially be interested in.

This article is sponsored by real estate news.

What Are the Top 10 Ways to Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

If you and your man broke up, don't worry because there are 10 ways to get your ex boyfriend back. Don't lose hope easily and give up. There's still a chance for you and your man to get back together.

So what are the 10 ways to get your ex boyfriend back?

1. Don't ignore him completely

If he's trying to reach out to you, there's no need to be rude and refuse to answer his calls because you want to play hard to get. If you see him, act nice and say hi. Ignoring him will only make you look immature.

2. No contact

While you don't need to ignore him completely, you also don't need to contact him all the time especially if the breakup is recent. Give each other space and don't annoy him to death by sending text messages at 3 in morning or calling him all the time.

3. Don't give him the upper hand

If you let him know that you miss him and that you're lost without him then you're giving him the upper hand. He won't be in a rush to get you back then because he knows you'll be waiting for him no matter how long it takes.

4. Grieve and wallow

Give in those feelings and wallow in order to heal. You need to get it out of your system or it's going to eat you and you won't be able to think straight. You're going to be desperate and needy and do things like call him and bug him because you want his attention.

5. Find other things to focus on

Your grieving period should have a time limit. After a few days, you need to get back on your feet and live your life again. Find other things to focus on such as your work or hobbies. You need to stop thinking about the breakup otherwise you're going to be obsess and that's never a good idea.

6. Accept the breakup and let him go

You can't force someone to stay with you. If you want him back then you need to accept the breakup and let him go first. If you don't let him go and continue to cling then he's going to think that this breakup really is the best idea for both of you.

7. Smile and be nice

When you see your ex, try not to be rude and show him just how bitter and angry you are. He's not going to want to talk to you if he senses that you want to bite his head off. And if he doesn't want to talk to you then how can you get him back?

8. Forgive and forget

He hurt you but you also have your share of mistakes. You need to forgive and forget if you ever want to start fresh with him. Holding on to grudges isn't good because you will end up being bitter and angry all the time.

9. Don't flirt with other men

Don't play games and try to make him jealous. He's going to think that maybe you've moved on and it's time for him to move on as well. Or he's going to retaliate and start going out with other women just to irritate you.

10. Be patient

Out of the 10 ways to get your ex boyfriend back, being patient is probably one of the most important. These things could take time and you need to keep your cool otherwise you may end up annoying him with your constant phone calls or blaming him for your broken heart.

How to Get a Boyfriend Back - 9 Things That Never Work

How to get a boyfriend back is quite a challenge. It's never easy trying to get someone you love back in your life. After all, you broke up for a reason.

So how do you get your man to come back to you? When it comes to how to get a boyfriend back, there are certain things that would never work and would only make your situation worse. Here are the things you need to avoid doing.

1. Being demanding. You can't make demands and order him to come back to you. He would only scoff and think that you're crazy for thinking that you're the boss of him.

2. Feeling like the victim. Don't be so hard on yourself and think that the whole world is against you. Pity parties never work and he won't want to come back to you if he thinks you're depressed and being a crybaby.

3. Chasing him. Pursuing him will only make him want to distance himself further. He's only going to think of you as an annoying lost puppy. If you want him back, it's better if you find ways to make him chase you.

4. Broadcasting your feelings to kingdom come. It's one thing to tell your friends how you feel but it's a bad idea to tell everyone within hearing distance just how miserable you are. He's going to think like you're doing this to get his attention or to have someone pity you. It's unlikely that he's going to bite.

5. Phone calls everyday. Which part of "I need some time" did you not understand? If he said he needs time and space to think things through then you know that it's a bad idea to bombard him with phone calls. The only thing constant contact will accomplish is making him even more frustrated with you.

6. Not saying you're sorry. He may not be so forgiving at first but you still need to apologize for your mistakes. Even though you're both at fault it would show that you were brave enough to face and admit that you were wrong. He's going to see this as a mature gesture and would really appreciate it.

7. Seeing red. If he's in a rebound relationship, don't treat it as a war and say "bring it on b++++!" It may not even be a serious relationship and maybe he's just doing this to deal with the pain. Acting like Rambo with nail polish and making a scene is not the most attractive things you can do.

8. Payback. He hurt you now you want to hurt him? Not a good idea which means that you shouldn't play games such as making him feel jealous just to see his reaction. What good would it do? Either he thinks you've moved on and he would move on as well or he's going to think it's just a pathetic attempt to get his attention.

9. Bite me. When it comes to how to get a boyfriend back, the "bite me" attitude doesn't really work. You can be cool and collected and act like you're in control when you see him. But if you're rude and let him know that you're bitter and resentful then he's going to be turned off and wouldn't bother talking to you again.

Relationships Based on Lying

If you have read a women's magazine, you know there always seems to be an article about lying in a relationship. "Little white lies" can often seem harmless enough. It's easy to think it is not hurting anybody and no one will ever know, but isn't this really a measurement for integrity and personal responsibility? I've often heard from my employers that they are appalled when a candidate exaggerates on their resume. Right off the bat candidates are setting a premise of dishonesty- why would someone want to hire a person like this? Candidates are advised to be truthful and honest in their representation of themselves.

This strong belief that candidates should be 100% truthful on their resumes and applications is a well-founded concept. But what happens when a company is lying to the candidate? This is the other side to the coin that people rarely ever consider. We get so caught up in thinking it is the candidates being less than honest, we never stop to consider the possibility of it going both ways. According to the Reader's Digest article "Get Hired, Not Fired: 50 Secrets That Your HR Person Won't Tell You", company personnel have been known to lie to candidates as well. For example, here are two excerpts from the Reader's Digest article:

"Background checks are expensive. Sometimes we bluff, get you the fill out the form and don't run it," states Cynthia Shapiro, former human resource executive and author.

"Sometimes, we'll tell you we ended up hiring someone internally- even if we didn't- just to get you off our backs." HR rep at a Fortune 500 Financial services Firm

At the end of the day, if lying is a standard practice in your company, you will not be able to hire good people and expect them to stay. You are creating a culture within your company, and if it is one that includes not always telling the whole truth, the expectation that you could then hire honorable, truthful others goes out the window. Instead, run a strategic, authentic, well defined interview process. Be upfront and completely committed to a healthy environment for your employees- an environment that is based on truth telling. Creating this culture of truth and mutual respect will help support the company in being one of value. The rewards will far outweigh any benefit you may have received by lying to your people.

Tips on How to Break Up With Someone

If you are unhappy in a relationship and have tried your hardest to make things work, but to no avail, you may want to considering breaking up with your partner. However, breaking up can be tough, and that's why we have developed these tips on how to break up with someone.

Be certain that you want to break up with them

First and foremost, you have to be 100% certain that you want to break up with your partner. Remember that you are playing with their feelings here, so don't put them through a break up only to want them back a few days or weeks later. They deserve better than that. Therefore, if you can, it's always best to try and work through any difficult times in a relationship and use a break up as a last resort.

Do it face to face

You should always try to break up with someone face to face. Obviously, this might be tough if you are in a long distance relationship, but if you are able to do it face to face that is always best. There is nothing worse than getting a text or email from your partner saying they want to break up with you.

Stay calm

Make sure that you are calm when breaking up with someone; you don't want to be more emotional about it all than they are.

Be prepared for the unknown

It is extremely difficult to predict how someone will react to a break up, so be prepared for every emotion possible and be sure to handle the situation delicately. They could handle it really well, there could be tears and shouting, you just don't know. No one should be happy the experience a break up.

Keep your distance

Once you have broken up with them, you need to keep your distance. Don't go round there house or text them, just leave them to it for a few weeks. Furthermore, if they constantly try to ask you to take them back you should just politely say no and keep your distance, avoid their phone calls for a bit if you have to.

There are plenty more fish in the sea, so please don't stay in an unhappy relationship to spare the other person's feelings or for whatever reason. You and they will find someone else who is a better match; it's just a part of life that we all experience at some point. Hopefully, you should now be more prepared and understand a few more things about how to break up with someone.

5 Rules for Successful Text Messaging With a Girl

Finally you got her number, and now she is giving you a text message, or you want to send her a text. But, how can you make your text message attractive? How can you ask her to date via text message? How can you lead her curiosity toward you? Here are 5 rules for successful text messaging with a girl:

1. Don't bombard her with texts

Girls hate that. Girls hate possessive guy. They don't like being watched by you all the time. They don't like you to send her texts every hour. So, be sure to avoid sending her text messages too much. If you send the first text to her, be sure to wait for her to reply before you send another text. If you keep sending text with words like "Why don't you reply to my text?" it will only annoy her. See, people are busy, and she might be busy that she is unable to reply your message right away.

2. Don't be a needy

If you become a needy guy, you will turn her interest off. So, for example, if you send her a text and she's able to answer it within 5 minutes, be sure to send the text back to her in the same amount of time. You don't want to look needy. Don't reply her text right away. But, if she's giving you a fast reply, you need to be as fast as her. Don't delay your reply since it will be seen that you are not giving her proper attention.

3. Make it friendly and informal

Don't be too serious in your text. For instance, you don't need to tell her that you love her so much in your text. It isn't necessary. Tell her that when you meet her. When you exchange text messages, you should be friendly and keep it informal. You should even make it playful; just a small talk, a little conversation. Sometimes, you need to shorten your words.

4. Don't text all day long

Sometimes, many guys are too much attached with their text messages that they are forgetting that they should ask her out. If you're conversing with her over text for a long time, she might eventually lose interest on you. Instead you should limit your text to her and start asking her out. You can't text her forever, do you? You have to move out. Invite her to meet up with you after exchanging texts with her for some time. Don't delay.

5. Your conversation starter matters

Don't write text like this: "Hello, it's me! I want to talk to you." This is not a good conversation starter for a text message. Instead, choose a line that will easily build interesting short conversation with her. Write it like this: "Your performance last night was really wonderful. How did you learn the dance move?" This type of opening will get her engaged from the first time she receives a text message from you.

Those are the rules that you should follow when you're sending text message to a girl. Remember that the content of your text is really important. So, follow the rules and you'll have a success with it.

My Ex Girlfriend Is Talking About Me - Is That a Good Thing?

So, you've been hearing that your ex girlfriend is talking about you and that makes you wonder, is it a good thing that she is doing that? You certainly hope so, because since you and her broke up, you've found that all you want is to have her back in your life. You are getting hopeful that the fact that she is talking about you might end up being a good sign that she wants to get back together with you. Is it a good thing if your ex girlfriend is talking about you?

It all depends on the way that she is talking about you, who she is talking about you with, and of course - what it is that she is actually saying about you. Just because you have heard that she is dropping your name in conversation, it does not automatically mean that you have a chance of being able to win her back.

Here are some things that you need to consider if you want to know if it is a good thing that your ex girlfriend seems to be talking about you:

1) Is she inquiring through mutual friends about what you are doing?

This is usually going to be a good sign because it means that she still has an interest in you and she probably knows that if she asks mutual friends about you, that you are going to end up finding out about it. If this is the case, then you probably should take it as a good sign.

2) Is she venting about how bad of a boyfriend you were?

Okay, so this is a good example of it NOT being a good thing that your ex girlfriend is mentioning your name in conversation. If the conversation happens to revolve around the topic of you being a BAD boyfriend, then I wouldn't suggest that you consider it a good sign that she wants you back.

3) Is she saying positive things about when you and her were dating?

If she is talking about you and her in regards to when you were dating and she is saying positive things about you, it might be a sign that she kind of realizes that you actually were a pretty good boyfriend. That could be a perfect time to try and win her back, because there is a good chance that she has already thought about that happening.

Challenging Situations of Social Isolation

"If you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it's not because they enjoy solitude. It's because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them."
~Jodi Picoult

Anyone who has dealt with the felt sense of an overriding betrayal of a friend or group, akin to any sort of community, knows, by bitter experience, the truth in the above statement.

There are times when we have all sought our solitude, because it was the only safe place to run. People may say they love their alone-time, and that is occasionally the case, because there is the need physical, mental, or emotional renewal, but when people actively seek prolonged seclusion there is usually the presence of hurt within.

The fact is, as humans we have the preponderance for affinity; for connection.

We need to connect, and anyone challenging this idea could ask themselves, "Am I hurt by people (or hurting because of people) in any way?"

In my own life, I recall times in my late teens where I would routinely shut myself out from my social world for days at a time because I was sick of the way my peers treated me. There seemed to be some inner satisfaction in doing this; though I was not a believer at this stage, I perhaps felt the reassuring Presence of God, somehow. But, realistically, this reassuring presence - known to exacerbate and justify the isolation - was probably more reassurance from the devil, for Satan loves to get us isolated and get into our heads that way. But I certainly drew strength from having the power to segregate myself and to dream up goals in the manner of: "I'll show them!"

THE SOURCE OF CHURCH AND FAMILY HURTS

Because churches, individual bodies' of Christ, exist around social bounds under God, there will always be friction to the point of people feeling out of touch, misunderstood, not listened to, unloved - rejected. If only we could understand this as an ever present threat. These dynamics affect any 'family' set-up in the crisis of felt betrayal.

Particularly for the person who is prone to feelings of abandonment - those who have some union to an anxious attachment - this is a real threat. They will, from time to time, feel rejected by anyone who may not concur with their line of thinking; who resists closeness of heart and mind to them. These feelings of rejection, if we were wise, would be challenged in truth, so we could see the role fear is playing to disturb our sense for connection - pressuring our sense of connectedness.

If we would honour the truth, and see these feelings as they are, we may avoid the need to isolate ourselves.

We may rise above the felt pettiness of others in order to glorify God in our hurt.

NEVER GIVING UP ON FINDING A PLACE TO BELONG

All of us belong somewhere. If truth were known, we actually belong in any good place, but we need to feel like we belong.

Many are the experiences of people against that flow, however.

They may never have felt that; a sense of true belonging. But our passionate commitment to find a place where we truly belong is rewarded when we resolve to never give up. But in order to find such a place we need to do our own inner work of preparation.

The fact we must come against is, we will be hurt.

People hurt people, but it is our role to utilise the wisdom and power of God to reconcile that hurt, rising above it. It is hurt people who hurt people. When we see this, we see a fearful individual (or individuals) who has/have hurt us, and we can have compassion for them. And sometimes it is us who are plain wrong, and in those cases we need to have the humility to admit we're wrong. Many, many schisms come about because of sinful pride. Let's be honest; being honest and swallowing our pride is a far better personal result.

If we are to get on we must aim to get on. Doing that is about compromise; a meeting of the minds and hearts, or at least agreeing to disagree without caging resentment.

***

Because, as humans, we were made to connect, isolation may be one of the worst kinds of life there is. We cannot know love, and be blessed by love, in isolation. And neither can we grow in isolation. The best of life exists where we feel we belong. Upon bouts of feeling isolated we need to, again, expand out into our world in courage to reconnect.

© 2013 S. J. Wickham.

Just Because You Love Your Ex Girlfriend Doesn't Mean She Is Coming Back to You

Getting a little does of reality can be a good thing every now and again, especially when dealing with issues relating to relationships. It can be hard to imagine, but just because you feel like you love your ex girlfriend, it doesn't mean that she is going to come back to you. It's easy to feel like she should do that, because you probably assume that all she wants to know is that you still love her. However, as many guys find out, just letting their ex girlfriend know that they are still in love with her is in no way a guarantee that she is going to come back to them.

You have to do more than just admit to the fact that you still have love for your ex girlfriend if you want to win her back. You have to influence her on an emotional level and that isn't probably going to happen just because you feel like you still have love for your ex girlfriend.

Here are some tips on what you can do so that you DO end up back with her:

1. The first thing that you need to realize is that the feelings cannot be just on your side of the coin, she has to feel the same way.

When you feel like you want your ex girlfriend to come back, it's easy to feel like that should be more than enough and forget about the fact that it has to flow both ways. She has to feel just as strongly about you as you do about her. When love is one sided, it doesn't make for a situation where a relationship is going to work.

2. Giving her the impression that you are obsessed with her is NOT a good thing.

This is a mistake that is often made when a guy feels like he still is hopelessly in love with an ex girlfriend. He'll end up giving her the impression that he is pretty much obsessed with her and that ends up being a big red flag in her book signaling that you might not be the right guy for her to be with. Letting her know that you still think about her is a good thing, making it seem like an obsession is not a good thing.

When you really feel like you still love someone, you want to let them know and you want to hear them say that they feel the same way. However, before you tell your ex girlfriend that you feel that way, you have to bring her back to the point where she DOES feel the same way. That is going to be what helps you to win her back in the end.

Sexuality, Suicide, and Conflict

A few days ago, I was enjoying a libation at a local watering hole. I was minding my own business, thinking about writing and watching people live their lives. While sitting there, a man wearing dirty jeans and a Labor's Union shirt yelled out across the room, "Let's get out of here, this is a fag bar." As you can imagine, this didn't go over well with 98.9% of the pub's customers, many of whom have been drinking for, I suspect, hours. The following event is what ensued: "Who the f*@# you talking to, I'm no fag," one patron roared. The agitator exclaimed, "Mind your own f*%&ing business, I wasn't talking to you." Another patron, clearly annoyed by the exchange, "Get the f%$# out of here before I kick your ass, none of us are fags." Then, as I suspected, several men prepared for battle. "Come on mother$#@%er, let's do this," he yelled. This fiasco ensued for five to ten arduous minutes, the two rival factions sizing each other up, moving in circles, both parties slowly moving towards the door, the exit to either escape or an open battlefield. As you can imagine, I was soaking this up like water to a sponge. After all, I'm a master of conflict, and I always find conflict and its predictability fascinating. No punches were thrown that day, the agitators left; the bar once again became silent.

I've witnessed this ballot of conflict numerous times; however, I find it fascinating how prevalent heterosexism still is amongst males in our society. After all, I was the only one who told both parties to calm down and to get over their homophobia. I, of course, couldn't help but chime in, after all, there was a conflict, and I wanted a piece. As I calculated, neither party paid attention to me or my statement. At the time I made the statement, both parties couldn't hear me; they were in fight or flight. They were focused on each other, their adrenaline pumping, and their testosterone spiking. At this point, I was invisible.

We've made a lot of progress for gays and lesbians in this country, but our progress isn't happening fast enough. I'm not homophobic. I've never been afraid of homosexuals; in fact, whatever two men or women do in their bedroom is, in my opinion, their business. And just by being human, we all have the right to pursue and possess the love of another we deeply care about. Albeit, we have made progress, my experience the other day clearly demonstrates we haven't made enough.

Over the last week, I've read several articles illustrating the positive correlation between homosexuality and suicide. I find this anathema, as we're a supposed to be a "civilized" country which espouses "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness." Obviously, we're failing. It's time to take a stand; it's time to try to connect with people different than ourselves. Not only do we, straight America, need to support gays and lesbians pursue their constitutional right to pursue happiness, we need to support other taboo groups, many of whom we don't fully understand or know much about. As a society, we need to support law abiding citizens whom choose to live different lifestyles, such as the BDSM community, leather community, polyamory community, and other fetish lifestyle communities.

Yes, we don't have agree with these different lifestyles, but they, according to our values as a nation, have the right to pursue happiness, and they should be able to do so without intimidation, coercion, or duress. We know that many whom are on the fringes of society, for whatever reason, feel isolated. And because of this, they feel hopeless, unwanted, and pursue suicide, a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

Please, keep an open mind and treat everyone, regardless of their sexual orientation, with respect and dignity. Consider offering them your friendship rather than your ridicule. We owe this to ourselves as a people and a nation. We should do this because lives hang in the balance, no one should die because they believe they don't belong to the collective beehive we call the United States.

What Makes Vietnamese Women-American Men Relationship So Popular

Vietnamese women are some of the most attractive women in the world in terms of physical beauty, and these days there's a rising popularity of Asian women in the dating scene. American men are attracted to the Vietnamese girls because of their attractive physical features, petite bodies, silky hair, and innocence. Unlike the western women, most Vietnamese ladies are soft spoken and they know how to treat their partner well.

As these ladies are brought up in a culture where women are taught to respect men and take care of family, these characteristics of Vietnamese women greatly attract American men. After all, who doesn't want to be with an attractive woman that is both polite and sweet-natured?

Online Dating Sites Provide the Platform

Vietnamese Women - American Men relationships are popular both in Vietnam and America. Today, there exist numerous interracial relationships where the couples are bonded to each other by love. With the advent of online dating, the number of such couples has risen exponentially because online dating sites have made it possible for Vietnamese girls and American men to find their ideal match.

Finding long term dates in nightclubs or bars is not easy for all. First, you need to overcome the fear of rejection and be able to impress the woman you like amidst loud music and flashing lights, and if you falter your chance is gone. Furthermore, you will find single girls hanging out in groups, thus making it difficult to approach the one you like.

Thus, online dating sites offer the most ideal platform for single American men to look for Vietnamese women, and vice versa. The biggest advantage of seeking a suitable Vietnamese woman online is that you know that all the women who are registered in the site are seriously looking for a relationship. If you are an American with decent looks and a good income, your chances of finding a suitable woman is high because Vietnamese women like men who can provide them with love and financial stability.

Build an Impressive Dating Profile

To increase your chances of finding a suitable Vietnamese woman, we would suggest that you build an impressive dating profile and include as much information as you can. Don't forget to include your photographs as this shows that you are seriously looking for a relationship. If you have sound financial stability, make sure you reflect this through your profile.

Beware of Cons

However, when seeking Vietnamese women through dating sites, beware of cons who try to engage foreigners with sweet talk and later demand money for various silly reasons. If you like a Vietnamese woman, take some time to interact with her and know more about her life and background. You may consider chatting with her through the dating site and perhaps use a web cam to ensure that she is a real woman and not someone faking you.

Conclusion

Thus, the reason why Vietnamese women are attracted to American men is because they are considered as liberal minded, financially stable, honest, well behaved, strong in bed, and most importantly they are white. American men on the other hand like Vietnamese women because of their physical beauty, sweet and soft nature.

Love takes some time to happen, so make sure you allow some time for the chemistry to develop and know each other fully without rushing into taking any decisions.

Relationship Advice - Was The Relationship Doomed From The Beginning?

It's over. Your relationship has officially ended. Although the end of a relationship is usually not pleasant, this time it's different. Although there is sadness, you have a much more settled feeling than you thought you would have. It's almost a sense of relief. Why is that? Is it because you realize this really wasn't the right person to be with? Did things take a turn for the worse at the end... or was the relationship doomed from the beginning and you never really admitted it to yourself?

Sometimes our heart knows what is right and our head won't admit it. It could be the other way around. Either way, we can sometimes fool ourselves into believing everything will be okay... when deep down we know that really isn't the truth. Why do we put ourselves through that? There are several reasons.

They might not always seem logical, but at the time they make perfect sense to us. We know better but we won't admit to ourselves we know better. We won't admit we have made a mistake. It's almost like we are trying to fool ourselves. But sooner or later it catches up with us. So why do we do it?

1. It makes us feel better. Perhaps you had just come out of a bad relationship and you wanted to believe this one was going to work out. Maybe you desperately wanted to break the chain of relationship disasters that had recently befallen you. It felt good to be with someone again, even though your ex didn't exactly match what you were looking for in a partner.

2. We thought we could change things. The foundation was somewhat okay so you falsely believed you could make the necessary adjustments in the belief everything would have eventually fallen into place. But all the adjustments that had to be made to make it acceptable were way too much and, in the end, it would not have been a healthy and happy relationship anyway.

3. We kid ourselves everything will be okay. You believed there was more to the relationship than there actually was. Why? Maybe you were tired of the dating scene. Maybe you just didn't want to be alone, you don't like being alone. Whatever the reason, you thought you could fool yourself. Unfortunately, that never works.

Most of the time, even early in the relationship, we know if the relationship is destined to collapse. We might not want to admit it, but the facts are there. That's why others often see it when we don't... because our perception is skewed and their's isn't.

What Men Want In A Relationship And Makes Them Commit

Many girls think and feel like men are not at all serious when it comes to a relationship. This misconception has probably arisen due to the lack of women's understanding about men. Just like women, men also look and wish for something in a relationship so they can truly commit to it. If you want your man to give himself fully to you, then you have to know what men want in a relationship.

Honesty

Everyone, regardless of gender, wants honesty. If a woman wants her man to be honest with her, so does a man from his girl; honesty in communication, particularly. Answer your man's questions honestly, keeping no intended secrets. He would probably appreciate if you will volunteer to give information. If you want something from him, openly and confidently ask so he can provide it for you. Keep in mind that a true man will need and want you to be straightforward; to communicate courageously with no criticism or anger.

Confidence, Security, Self-sufficiency

In dating women, men know that they need to exude confidence to the women they want to attract. In the same way, men also want this quality from the women they are in a relationship with. In everything a woman does, her man wants her to feel confident, secure and self-sufficient. A man knows that his woman is a lady of value; someone who has her own skills and capabilities to be proud of. However, this level of confidence must not to arrogance. If that happens, then she will fail to be a worthy partner to her man.

No Manipulation

Remember that men want their women to find their own fulfillment as an individual and as their partner in the relationship. Similarly, they also want that women will not manipulate them. While it is true that when two people decide to be in a relationship, two will inevitably become one. Yet, this does not mean that one can manipulate the other to become like him or her, just to achieve the goal of becoming one. Becoming one is reaching mutual understanding and agreement between opposing perceptions of two people involved. There should be no forcing or handling just to make the other person agree. This agreement can be achieved through proper communication and open-mindedness.

Worthwhile Sex

Relationship between man and woman will not be complete without sex and intimacy. Sex or intercourse is the consummation of their love for one another. Men do not merely want sex that is consistent or regular. A number of women may think that the only thing important for men is to be able to stick their thing and get relief from release. Any man in a relationship with the woman he loves will want to make love to her and not just mate with her. Thus, sexual activity should be done with passion, love, enthusiasm. You should not give your man simply your body, but also your heart and your mind during intercourse.

Humor

Men also look for humor in a relationship. A serious relationship does not necessarily mean that it will be filled only with days of solemnity. You can take something seriously without completely taking away the fun, enjoyment and laughter. Simply be spontaneous in his company, letting out your funny side to make him laugh. You will realize that the more he enjoys your company, the more he will value you.

Attract Girls Online: Transform Your Facebook Profile to a Girl Magnet!

Are you frustrated over not getting any girls online? Tired of sending countless messages without receiving a reply? There are so many beautiful women out there with real profiles waiting to be approached. Most of these women who are online are actually very open towards making new friends and building new connections. Specially with the rise of Social Networking sites such as Facebook, you would find that almost every girl has created an online profile on at least one of these social networking sites. These girls have to keep in touch with their friends in school, colleagues at work and with their families and hence Facebook is a convenient solution for them.

This is good news for you if you want to build new connections with beautiful, high status girls. The best thing about online dating is that it leaves you with plenty of options. When it comes to attracting girls online, there really is no approach anxiety or fear of speaking awkwardly and making a fool of yourself. Attracting girls online is actually very easy.

Online attraction is easy, but it certainly has its set of skills which need to be learnt. The reason why you are not having any success with girls on Facebook or any other network, is because you have no idea of the skills of online attraction.

First of all you should realize that the girls you are trying to attract online have absolutely no idea of who you are, and any impression they have of you will be ENTIRELY dependent on your PROFILE! Your Profile will be the ONLY way of communicating your personality, achievements, traits, preferences and beliefs.

Your Profile should effectively communicate everything that attracts these girls instead of repulsing them. Simply said, your profile should bring out all the positive aspects of your life. It could be your appearance, career, social status, wealth etc. Women love to be with successful men, and if your profile conveys that you're a winner, women would soon be flooding your inbox with messages! But going through some of the profiles on Facebook, it seems that some guys have no clue on how to build a winner's profile. So here's some advice on how to amp up your Facebook profile!

1 Profile Picture

This is the most important aspect of your profile. You absolutely need to get this right. We've all heard that first impressions really matter. And yes, a girl's first impression of you will depend entirely on your profile picture. If your profile picture interests her and seems appealing to her, she would visit your profile to know more about you. If your profile picture bores her, she wouldn't even bother checking out your profile. Even if you do have plenty of other cool pics and fun quotations, she wouldn't even know! You will be just one of the hundreds of friends in her friends list and soon you'll be lost in the crowd. Think about it, would you check out a girl's profile, if her profile pic seemed horribly ugly to you? (If you answered 'yes' by any chance, leave immediately) So how do you get your profile pic right?

Here's how. Your profile picture should convey one or more of the following traits: Fun, Adventurous, Strong, Rich, Intelligent and Socially confident. The more traits your profile pic portrays, the better. Try to hit on as many as you can with your profile pic. Let's say your profile pic is of you with your friends at a party, this conveys you're fun, socially confident and maybe even rich. Suppose your pic is of you rock climbing; this conveys you're adventurous, fun and strong. But of course these are just ideas and you should be smart enough to take pics in a way that conveys these traits. But I hope you get the idea. Try to hit on as many positive traits with your profile pic. Be creative, but stay sensible. Don't forget to pay attention to the brightness, contrast and sharpness of your profile picture. Some pictures are so dull and dark you can't figure out who's in it. Don't make that mistake. The new Facebook profile has a new feature of a 'cover photo'. Treat this the same way you would treat the profile picture. Remember the traits!

2 'About Me' section

This is a great chance for you to tell girls what you're passionate about and what you aim to achieve in life. Show that you have a clear purpose and aim in life and that you are having loads of fun on your way getting there. A man with purpose is very attractive to women. Keep it short of course. No one would want to read lengthy paragraphs.

3 Favourite Quotations

This will show your beliefs and the people who truly inspire you. Fill this section up with motivational quotes and with quotes from great personalities related to your career. Even funny quotes would be fine. Just keep it interesting. 'If you're going through hell, then just keep going!', or ' If I hadn't seen Disney world in my mind, the rest of the world would've never seen it for real'-Walt Disney, are examples of good quotations.

4 Be mindful of what you share and what you associate yourself with on Facebook

With the new Newsfeed feature, as soon as you 'like' or 'comment' on a link or a post, a whole lot of people will get to know about it immediately. So be careful of what posts and photos you 'like'. Don't get involved in hate campaigns, racially oriented posts or even sexist stuff. This lowers your image and if you want to attract girls, you want to maintain a high status. As men, we are expected to be in control of our emotions. So show her that you are a strong man who is in control of yourself. Remember also never to 'like' or 'comment' positively on photos depicting half-naked women, or explicit material. Always remember that you have to maintain the status of a noble man. This will make girls feel safer approaching you and talking to you online.

5 Bridge the gap between your 'Online self' and Real self

The entire purpose of attracting girls online is to build a lasting connection with them in real life. The online platform obviously makes it easier to approach them and create the attraction within them. But remember online attraction is just the doorway toward getting these girls into your real life. So in real life you need to BE the person you claim to be online. You shouldn't claim you are a rich businessman who travels around the world, if you are broke in real life. Always be honest of what you say online. The online game is built on trust. Work on yourself to really be the person you want to be. Go workout, educate yourself and work on building a career for yourself. This way the girls you attract online, will stay with you in real life! For more great tips and advice on how to attract girls online, visit my site

How Well Is Your Relationship Going?

I know that a point in time may come when you are wondering to yourself, "Man, I want a boyfriend and/or girlfriend." But when you think that to yourself, you have to ask yourself, "Why aren't I in a relationship to begin with." In a relationship, there isn't just touching and feeling and I want to be with him or her all day. If you are going to be a in a relationship there are a lot of other things to consider, especially if you are between the age groups 15-25. Just like other things in life there comes responsibility, trust and communication as well as love, peace, and happiness. When you do not have these things in your relationship, then you don't have a relationship at all, at least not a good one. There needs to be some type of structure in the relationship or it will just crumble.

When you are looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right, you always want to remember that you are not looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right, you are looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right now. They must have high standards that also meet your high standards. You might also want to keep in mind "Would I allow this person to eat dinner with my mother", if you can not answer this question truthfully, then it's probably best that you don't even think twice about being with them. Communication is also another important factor in being in a relationship; communicating doesn't mean just talking, communicating also means being honest with each other at all times even when it could potentially hurt the other. You BOTH always want to remember to keep that communication bond as strong as you can... AT ALL TIMES!

When you are young the most important thing that need to keep in mind is that you are still a child yourself. This means that you need to also keep your priorities in order; in short don't fall in love too soon. When teenagers fall in love to soon they receive consequences that they are not able to control or take back in the future. For example, teen pregnancy. Even though teen pregnancy has decreased in the past couple of years, doesn't mean that it doesn't still happen. The current teen rate is still at 86% in 2012. You always want to make smart decisions and think about other people and not just yourself. Be responsible. Life is and will always be what you make it. Control your own life. Take charge and have faith In God.

Facebook and Relationships

If you have a Facebook account you inevitably know that one of the things that changes often on your friends profiles is "relationship status". Someone who was listed as "single" is suddenly "in a relationship", only to read "it's complicated" in a few months, and before you know it they're back to "single". Maybe it's not that way with every individual, but I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. Even though it's fun announce to everyone on Facebook that you have a new boyfriend or girlfriend, Facebook and relationships don't always go hand in hand. In fact, Facebook can destroy relationships.

What is it about this most popular social media network that drives a wedge between two people in love? There are several things, actually. The secrecy it affords, the fact that people are clueless about how to handle new relationships, and the Facebook games are a just a few. Let's start with the secrecy. I know by this point you may be thinking that there has to be trust in a relationship and that includes trusting people to do the right thing on Facebook. It's true, but I'm not talking about cheating as much as I'm talking about the little things you can get away with. Facebook affords you the ability to have private conversations with anyone. The temptation to say things you wouldn't say if your loved one was standing behind you can be overwhelming. It's so easy to have exchanges that seem innocent to you but would need a lot of explanation if read by your partner. In other words... sit down you're rocking the boat.

Another thing that people don't understand is erasing the past. When you start a new relationship with someone, the past is suppose to be put behind you. If you still have photos of yourself and an old love on Facebook, your new love is going to see it and they're going to have questions. Why is that still there? Why did you feel the need to hang onto that? Is there some connection to that person that you still have that you couldn't let go of? Not only photos need to be deleted, messages do as well. Messages that were written at a time when you were single should never be left hanging around to be possibly read by the one you are with now. Whether you were flirting or something more serious... that stuff is in the past. If you want to keep it in the past, erase it. Otherwise it is going to become your present very soon. Move on, delete the past, and start your future. In your head and heart you may be thinking your ready to let go of the past and move on, but your Facebook account needs to reflect that as well.

Facebook games can be dangerous territory when you are in a loving committed relationship. Those interactive games allow you to chat with others. Some girl or guy may notice your photo and start flirting with you. If you are single that's not a problem. If you are taken, it can be. A lot of people like the idea that people want what they have because it feels good to know that they have it and no one else can. Most of the time it doesn't work that way, or it does yet there's a line that shouldn't be crossed. There's a difference to me in seeing a girl look at my boyfriend and knowing she wants him but can't have him and having her actually flirt with him trying to get him to respond. People tend to feel threatened when someone actually comes after what they have, and Facebook games afford that ability. It's also on another forum, so there's no record of what was said. This is of course where trust comes in. You have to trust the person you are with to handle it well, but nevertheless there is a part of you that would rather avoid it all.

If you are in a serious relationship, consider your options about Facebook. You could both agree to get off and stay off of Facebook, or you could come up with boundaries that you set together about using Facebook. Whatever you do, know that there are issues that should be addressed, and don't ignore them.

Get Rid Of Your Passive Aggression

"Life is simply time given to man to learn how to live. Mistakes are always part of learning. The real dignity of life consists in cultivating a fine attitude towards our own mistakes and those of others."

Anonymous

I heard from a couple of Mother-in-laws (MILs). One stated how her son had asked her over to look at his latest work done on the house. Apparently her daughter-in-law (DIL) was not aware. The MIL took the brunt of the anger through passive aggression. Her DIL never looked at her when she was talking herself or when her MIL was talking. She smiled a forced smile but was quick with her moves and stiff with her body language. MIL or DIL as well as people in general are guilty of passive aggression.

If we think we cover it up we don't. We get the message across to others bluntly. The victim is at our mercy. If the victim complained the aggressor would deny what they were doing and state nothing could be further from the truth. The victim in a sense would become the complainer and one who imagines they are being shunned. We all know when we are getting the proverbial "Cold Shoulder". What do we achieve by doing this to another? We hurt the person at the receiving end. It is demeaning and usually from what I hear, the receiver is confused and trying to figure out why they are a target.

Maybe we assume too much. We think they have done something that they most likely didn't do but we make them guilty until proven innocent. Sometimes we can't prove our innocence. If we simply look for the best in others and assume they are never deliberately trying to hurt us, we all might thrive a lot better. Sometimes it seems that the people who think others are guilty of saying or doing something negative to them are the people who are doing these things themselves. If we live our lives complaining about others and talking about others and perpetuating a "Cold Attitudes" towards them, it's time to ask ourselves if we are the guilty party.

We all will play many roles in our lives. Remembering this should help us to live a more honorable life. A small hurt may hurt another and affect them for the rest of the day or week. In the same way a small gesture of kindness without attitude, may cheer a person for a day or a week. We always have the choice not only to increase our happiness but the happiness of others.

"How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and the strong. Because someday in life you will have been all of these." George Washington Carver

My Online Asian Dating Journey Turns Into a Short Honeymoon

In my last post, I discussed how an old friend had introduced me to online Asian dating sites. I had registered at a website and made a connection with one of the many girls that I had corresponded with. We had made a connection and had moved from talking via emails to talking via chat also. I was surprised by a few things I had learned about online dating. First, I was amazed at how many girls were interested in me. And second, I was surprised at how rapidly I had met a girl that I considered to be special.

In the first week, we exchanged emails daily. I was also corresponding with about ten other girls. But after a few messages, I had discovered things about all of these girls that ruled out a future relationship. At the same time, the one special girl that I connected with was becoming more interesting with each email. I made the decision to stop communicating with the other girls, and exclusively communicate with my special new friend from that point forward.

As I mentioned earlier, we had added chats to our method of communication. This was much quicker than an email and felt more like an interactive conversation. We chatted several times a day, when our schedule allowed. We had a lot in common and the list kept growing. I kept thinking to myself; Man, this was so easy. Why hadn't someone introduced me to Asian dating websites earlier?

By the fourth week, I was starting to get emotionally attached to my special Asian girl. She was sweet, and had all the qualities of a girl that you would want to spend the rest of your life with. Around the end of the first month, I asked her if we could video chat. Sadly, she informed me that the internet cafe that she used did not offer webcams. You see, she did not have her own computer so she would go to a local internet cafe to chat with me and send emails. Although disappointed, I realized that not everybody in the world had their own computer.

By the end of the sixth week, I was smitten by my lady. She was sending pictures of herself almost daily. I saw her house and also some of her family and friends. I was sending similar pictures of my home and acquaintances back to her. Now I wondered what the next step would be. How long was I expected to wait before we would meet each other? The following day I asked her this question. She said that she was ready to meet me. But before I could tell her that I was going to plan a trip to see her, she told me that she wanted to come to me. That was perfect. She could see where I lived and the house that I hoped we would spend the rest of or lives in.

She had the next day off and so she went to her local travel agency to get the necessary information to obtain a visa. I was so excited. This was going so well. The next day we chatted and she told me all about the visa requirements. She had spent the entire day at the travel company. It seemed pretty standard, and the visa cost was $400. Since I did not know anything about obtaining a visa to travel to the United States, I figured I would do some online research. I found several companies within the US that would perform the same services. And their cost was about the same.

The following day, I told her about our options. I had found many travel companies in the US, but she really wanted to use her local travel service. It was the first time she was going to travel and it was exciting for her to be able to give this business to her friend's business. I did not really care who helped us obtain her visa. So I asked her to send me the details of the travel company so I could arrange the payment. She quickly replied that it was easiest to simply wire the money to her. I told her that it would be easier for me if I could just pay the travel agent directly, since I would be able to use my credit card.

I didn't want to wait another day, so I asked her for their address and I would simply Google the contact information. She told me she did not know their address. I was a bit confused by this since she had spent the entire previous day there. Then I asked her for the phone number of the company. She did not know it the phone number either. Next, I asked her about the name of the company, she did not know it. This was not making any sense.

Before I could say another word, she asked me if I trusted her. I said that I had no reason NOT to trust her. Then she asked why I had a problem with sending the money directly to her. She was anxious to come and meet me and wanted to begin the process as quickly as possible. I told her that I did not live near a wire transfer agent and it would be more convenient for me to use a credit card. I told her that all world travel agencies would accept a credit card and should have a company website. She seemed upset by this, and asked me why I didn't trust her. Again I told her that I trusted her but the quickest way to pay for her visa was with a credit card. Her tone changed to hostile, and for the first time in six weeks all was not perfect. After a few minutes of heated chat, she said she would get the travel company's information for me, then logged off. The honeymoon was over!

The following day, she emailed me the information on this company. The email did not include the company name, or their address, or their phone number, or their website address. It simply listed an email address; or more specifically, a generic Yahoo email address. Apparently this company did not have their own website or URL. I knew something was amiss at this point. But hoping I was wrong, I sent an email to the address she provided and then went online so I could chat with my lady. But she was not there. This was another first.

The following day all I received was one short email from her and no reply email from the travel company. She explained that she was angry because she had spent six weeks chatting with me and after all that time, she felt I did not trust her. It was a compete change in her attitude; no sweet talk or niceties but only angry words. I finally came to the realization that all was not as it appeared to be.
The girl of my dreams had just tried to scam me.

I was actually shocked by this. I recalled the six weeks that I knew my special lady. We had sent each other dozens of very long and detailed emails. We had chatted daily for several weeks. Would this girl put that much time effort into a $400 scam? How could someone make a living devoting so much work for so little money. As I told my tale to one friend, he explained to me that the living standards are very different in some countries. That, $400 was more than the average monthly salary in the Asian country that my girl was from. That she probably was corresponding with many guys in the hopes that every month she could scam one or two of them into sending her the money; thus making a living.

This certainly had become a learning experience. I had learned that a whole new world of potential love existed in Asian dating sites. That there were dozens, if not hundreds, of Asian girls that were interested in dating a guy like me. But I also learned that there were dangers in this world. That there were people looking to scam an American guy by any means. Well I was not completely soured by this experience and knew that I must be more vigilant in the future. I had survived an attempted scam. I decided that I would lessen the chances of running into another scammer by being selective about the nationalities of girls I would chat with in the future. Primarily, I would concentrate on Filipina girls. Since Philippine women were primarily Christian and reputed to be very sincere and moral. These virtuous Filipinas were my plan for a scam free dating future. I had learned and would soon put my new plan into action.