A few days ago, I was enjoying a libation at a local watering hole. I was minding my own business, thinking about writing and watching people live their lives. While sitting there, a man wearing dirty jeans and a Labor's Union shirt yelled out across the room, "Let's get out of here, this is a fag bar." As you can imagine, this didn't go over well with 98.9% of the pub's customers, many of whom have been drinking for, I suspect, hours. The following event is what ensued: "Who the f*@# you talking to, I'm no fag," one patron roared. The agitator exclaimed, "Mind your own f*%&ing business, I wasn't talking to you." Another patron, clearly annoyed by the exchange, "Get the f%$# out of here before I kick your ass, none of us are fags." Then, as I suspected, several men prepared for battle. "Come on mother$#@%er, let's do this," he yelled. This fiasco ensued for five to ten arduous minutes, the two rival factions sizing each other up, moving in circles, both parties slowly moving towards the door, the exit to either escape or an open battlefield. As you can imagine, I was soaking this up like water to a sponge. After all, I'm a master of conflict, and I always find conflict and its predictability fascinating. No punches were thrown that day, the agitators left; the bar once again became silent.
I've witnessed this ballot of conflict numerous times; however, I find it fascinating how prevalent heterosexism still is amongst males in our society. After all, I was the only one who told both parties to calm down and to get over their homophobia. I, of course, couldn't help but chime in, after all, there was a conflict, and I wanted a piece. As I calculated, neither party paid attention to me or my statement. At the time I made the statement, both parties couldn't hear me; they were in fight or flight. They were focused on each other, their adrenaline pumping, and their testosterone spiking. At this point, I was invisible.
We've made a lot of progress for gays and lesbians in this country, but our progress isn't happening fast enough. I'm not homophobic. I've never been afraid of homosexuals; in fact, whatever two men or women do in their bedroom is, in my opinion, their business. And just by being human, we all have the right to pursue and possess the love of another we deeply care about. Albeit, we have made progress, my experience the other day clearly demonstrates we haven't made enough.
Over the last week, I've read several articles illustrating the positive correlation between homosexuality and suicide. I find this anathema, as we're a supposed to be a "civilized" country which espouses "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness." Obviously, we're failing. It's time to take a stand; it's time to try to connect with people different than ourselves. Not only do we, straight America, need to support gays and lesbians pursue their constitutional right to pursue happiness, we need to support other taboo groups, many of whom we don't fully understand or know much about. As a society, we need to support law abiding citizens whom choose to live different lifestyles, such as the BDSM community, leather community, polyamory community, and other fetish lifestyle communities.
Yes, we don't have agree with these different lifestyles, but they, according to our values as a nation, have the right to pursue happiness, and they should be able to do so without intimidation, coercion, or duress. We know that many whom are on the fringes of society, for whatever reason, feel isolated. And because of this, they feel hopeless, unwanted, and pursue suicide, a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
Please, keep an open mind and treat everyone, regardless of their sexual orientation, with respect and dignity. Consider offering them your friendship rather than your ridicule. We owe this to ourselves as a people and a nation. We should do this because lives hang in the balance, no one should die because they believe they don't belong to the collective beehive we call the United States.
No comments:
Post a Comment