Friday, January 4, 2013

How To Fix A Broken Relationship By Breaking Up

There are specific reasons why you are looking to know how to fix a broken relationship right now. You may feel the relationship is falling apart slowly and that the break up is imminent. Or maybe you already broke up with your ex and look for solutions to get back together. Either ways, you are feeling things have changed and you want the relationship with your partner to be the way it was at the beginning and fix the relationship for good.

But you are not only here to know how to fix a broken relationship. You are here because you want your partner or your ex to fall in love with you again. You want a fresh start and you want your ex to give you the attention, love and the respect you deserve. As you are the one in the couple who read these lines, I assume you are the one who is desperately overwhelmed by the emotions and the one who fells the most concerned about the relationship. Maybe you even have a hard time to sleep at night or go through the day. It can even give you a low appetite. Whatever happened between the two of you, or who you think is responsible for the downfall, there is always a small window open for a new beginning. Maybe you felt the relationship was sinking during the last few weeks and as you just didn't know what to do, well you did nothing. In order to understand the steps to take to know how to fix a broken relationship, I want you first to deeply understand the difference between YOU and your partner/ex at this very moment.

THE ROLES

You are the Pursuer: You are the one in the couple right now who wants a commitment, is affraid of being abandoned, you are the most impulsive and even though you are ready to take great risks in order to fix a broken relationship, you are the one who has the less confidence at this point. You have no idea what to do.

Ex or soon to be, is the "Distancer": Has no fear of rejections, need space, has a hard time with communicating the current feelings, do not return calls, gives short answers and doesn't really mind to give up at this point. May even flirt openly, look at you differently and give less attention. Can be workaholic. Will blame you for the problems in the relationship but still says "it's not you it's me''.

THE DYNAMIC.

The dynamic of the relationship is extremely unhealthy for the pursuer under this conditions. The circle is vicious and rarely comes to an end. The more you run after your partner to fix the relationship the more she/he runs away. So how do you fix a broken relationship like this one? One thing I know is that if you keep doing he same things you can't expect a different result. It is also human to want what you can't have but if you are committed to fix a relationship and that your partner is not, you won't change his/her mind by going on your knees, crying or making all the common mistakes.

REVERSING THE REJECTION

A powerful way to begin to fix a relationship like this one is by reversing the rejection. This is the first step that will give you not only great advantage on the situation but a certain level of relief. If you two broke up recently it is actually a good start. Yes it is. You can now stop making mistakes, gain confidence and move on with the golden rule of no contact. If you feel the break up is coming, be the one who breaks up. Take it as a temporary break up in order to get him/her back. But of course don't tell your partner it is temporary. Accept that the old relationship is over and start doing the very specific things that can make your ex feels that he/she is the one being rejected. Take your ex out of the comfort zone. Make your ex chasing YOU. Make him/her want YOU back and fall in love all over again with YOU. Then only you will begin to fix a broken relationship that is over or soon o be. Men and women are not wired the same way when it comes to love and relationship. And for this reason, we both have different "hot buttons" that can trigger our attention, love and respect. It is actually easier than you think to get the love back once you know exactly what to do next.



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