The Dating Dance

You see each other and sparks fly, you can't think about anything else and you hope and pray he will ask you out. He finally does and so begins the dance. You wake up the morning of first date night, having taken a day off from work because your nerves are jangled and you want to spend all day shopping for the right outfit and shoes to match, getting your hair done, your nails, everything has to be just perfect.

The first date is magical. He takes you to a nice restaurant, a chic flick movie that you have been wanting to see and he actually seemed to enjoy it too. You stop for an ice cream cone at the end of the date and despite being stuffed on popcorn since you were too nervous to eat much at dinner you make room for the ice cream cone. He walks you all the way to the front door and then there is the awkward moment of whether there will be a good night kiss, a next date, do you invite him in, etc.

Despite over thinking that last few minutes of the date, mother nature takes over, the kiss is sweet and respectful and he promises to call and everything seems so magical. But its all just a dance.

What does that mean? A dance is a bunch of movements in a rhythmic pattern to coincide with the beats to music and expresses how the music playing makes you feel. Nothing about the dance is meant to be permanent or lasting.

Not what you want to pattern your dating life by certainly. The problem is that our hormonal response to the initial physical attraction creates the music and the dance. Our minds and hearts actually have nothing to do with it.

Dating is for the purpose of finding a partner to love and share your life with. If your dating routine is more like a dance, how are you learning anything you really need to know about the other person to determine if they are the one for you? It all feels right but its all wrong.

The dance is misleading and all efforts made by both people are fake. If you were in a relationship for over a year and your partner asked you to go see a movie, would you take the day off from work and put all that effort into getting ready? For the partner that asked, after a year would you actually worry over making a date or just come home after work like every other day?

Stay tuned for more on the dating dance where I plan to explore better ways to find out if they are the right one!