Every relationship be it friendship, business, love and marriage relationship is "like a flower planted in a garden that needs constant watering and tendering". Many relationships have hit the rocks just because lovers, couples have failed to rekindle the flames of their relationships.
It surprises me that during courtship couples seem to swim across the ocean, walk through the furnace for each other. During courtship you both were very fond of each other; you did everything including the impossible just to please the other. Then why should everything be different now you're finally married? Why should everything change? Marriage is not a final destination; it's just a haven of relief. A completion of the first phase of the journey of relationship, yet the journey continues. The moment you take marriage as a Final Bus-Stop, the moment your love also reaches its final bus-stop. And when that happens, pains, frustration, depression, setbacks and divorce set in.
Hence, I've put up these useful keys to make your Relationship last.
One thing is 'to be in love' another thing is 'to live in love'. Many partners/couples were so fond of each other and quite intimated especially during their Courtship. What then happened the moment they became married? Suffix it to say that it is 'living in love' that guarantees a lasting relationship. Your ability as a couple to 'live in love' will definitely make you 'stay in the love' relationship. However, LIVING IN LOVE entails the following:
• COMMUNICATION AND OPENNESS:
It's so amazing what communication can achieve in a relationship but disappointingly couples usually take this for granted. How often do you talk with each other? 'Talking with each other" is quite different from 'talking to each other.' When you talk with each other, you're interacting, conversing, sharing ideas and at the same time enriching yourselves mentally. When you talk with each other, you have someone who gives you a listening ear as well contributes to the discussion. Every moment of silence usually seems there's no more live in the relationship. Hence, communication is the live-wire in every relationship. Communication must not ensue only when you have vital issues at hand. Talk about your daily activities, home, office, work, travels, hobbies, leisure, and meals in fact everything that is worth-talking. This has to be done with every sense of humor. Remember that your relationship started with 'communication' and so must be sustained with same. Be sincere and honest with your partner. Share all relevant secrets. Your finance also must not be kept secret from each other.
"Truth is the threshold of Trust and Commitment."
• CARING AND GENEROSITY:
Showing your partner some care matters a lot in relationship. Being generous or caring is not necessarily when you spend extravagantly or ravishingly on your partner. But appreciating your love for each other in a little million ways through spending quality time together. Be generous with your affection, attention, praise and even sympathy. Surprise packages like sending a love note or a bouquet to your partner. Be romantic by reminding each other how much you love each other and how beautiful or handsome your partner is. Taking your partner out for lunch or dinner or for a friend's party and other healthy public events.
These will definitely go along way to improving and sustaining your relationship.
• EQUAL SHARING AND RESPECT:
It is not gainsaying the fact that the journey of every relationship is not always rosy. There are roughages as well as 'blisses.' So in other to stay and live in love you must be able to balance the two (sorrows & Joy). Always share your sorrow and joy, ups & downs. Transform every sorrow into a happy moment. How do you do this?
Never concentrate on your partner's weaknesses: never focus more on your challenges which are "temporary inevitable occurrences". They must come and go. "Weeping may endure only for a night but joy comes in the morning". Every lasting relationship must be nurtured and sustained with respect.
Love never counts supremacy. As much as men desire respect, women also cherish respect. As the man, God made you a leader (The Head) and not a ruler. Never try to make your partner feel so inferior to you. Respect is a mutual factor in a relationship. As God requires women to be submissive (Humble) to their husbands, He also demands that men also respect and love their wives. Relationship is never a contest or monopolistic and competitive affair rather it is a partnership affair. When tension rises up, at the heat of your quarrel, when a partner flares up another should be the tranquilizer.
• TOLERANCE, UNDERSTANDING AND FORGIVENESS:
Tolerance and understanding are two brothers. The two forms the engine of every lasting relationship. If you don't really understand someone, you can never learn to tolerate (accept) the person. No one ever has that perfect character/attitude without the total in-filling of the Holy Spirit. Every man or woman created on this earth has weaknesses, deficiencies as much as strengths.
Therefore, in-order to stay and live in love, you must understand your partners' weaknesses and try to accept them so that we can effect appropriate corrections. Always place your partner's reactions, actions or feelings before yours. If your partner has such a disgusting and irritating attitude, use romantic approaches to correct them. If such attitude becomes a habit and seems incurable, accept them. Yes! Accept them and bring the issue to the final bus-stop. Bring it to God Almighty in prayer and you will experience a divine change. "Call upon me in times of trouble and I will deliver you."
In every misunderstanding or disagreement, learn to say "I am sorry" irrespective of whomever that is at fault. Those words 'I'm sorry' does a whole lot of good in every relationship. In the history of human relationship, no word(s) has ever been the quickest and costless tool for achieving peace and sustaining love than 'I'm sorry.' Always be quick to say 'am sorry' irrespective of whoever is at fault. Often times we think that apologizing to those who have wronged us rather than them rendering the apology, will only debase us before them and make us even look stupid. But don't be disappointed to hear that apologizing to someone who has wronged you, would rather make the person feel so inferior, ashamed, and stupid and even remorse for his behavior. No matter our craving for self importance, no one would still want to be treated like a god. We all have our soft spots which can only be aroused through a sincere apology. Learn to be generous, forgiving and apologetic. They serve as a desideratum for sustaining and building a lasting relationship.
This article is brought to you by DATE.
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