Did Being Socially Inept Sabotage Your Relationship?

Have you ever been watching a movie and the star seemed like such a cool person that everyone loves to be around? It always appears that he or she is always the center of attention and everything they do or say is perfect for that moment. Every aspect of their life is accepted, whether it's a high or a low point of his or her life. It all comes across as being done effortlessly. The star's relationships always seem so meaningful. But, unfortunately, we are not all the star of the show that gets the meaningful relationship and the universal acceptance. Some of us are socially inept.

Definition

So, what does it typically mean to be socially inept? In laymen's terms, it's the lack of adaptive skills mixed with an element of anxiety and social fear when dealing with people. It's someone who would be perceived as abnormal in routine situations. Clinically, several of those considered socially inept can be diagnosed with Anxiety Personality Disorder. Per Wikipediadotorg, this disorder is characterized by a low self-worth, sensitivity to criticism, and overall avoidance of any type of interaction. This is heightened by fear of embarrassment, rejection, and disapproval.

Your Relationship With Yourself

There is nothing that you want more than to learn how to be social. You know this in your heart. When you think about yourself, you see all the things that are wrong with you instead of the things that are right. You may even want some form of sympathy from a mate make you feel that you at least have worth to someone. You may not be suicidal, but you definitely don't have a very high regard for your life and its purpose. You love yourself, but it's a very strained relationship. You want more for yourself, but your lack of adaptive skills won't allow you to attain them. You may even convince yourself that you're just not a people person. "I just don't like people very much" is what you'd probably say if asked. The reality is, you always feel alone and have a neurosis that leads you to believe everyone is out to humiliate and degrade you. This perception makes it hard for you to provide fulfillment and comfort for your mate.

Your Relationship With Another

When you feel awkward and uncomfortable, it tends to make others feel the same way. As humans, we are all a little intuitive about how other people are feeling at certain moments. Living in fear, anti-socially, seems miserable to most people. There are definitely times that a person doesn't want to be bothered with a lot of people, but usually find meaning in the interaction with others. You can be very good-looking, nice job, desirable material things, and a great personality in private, but eventually being socially inept will affect your relationship. Relationships too often go beyond the two people involved. Most people have families and friends whom they love and respect. If your incapable of interacting with them consistently, it will make a person slowly pull away from you. The family members and friends of your mate will inevitably feel the discomfort and awkwardness coming from you and perceive it to be weakness. This will immediately put you at a disadvantage in your relationship.

When it's all said and done, the person that loves you for you will accept that you're this way. In the event that you may just be suffering from a disorder, your mate should be willing to seek you some professional help. When someone truly loves another, flaws are overlooked and overshadowed by your redeeming qualities. You should not let your insecurities and self-doubt push someone strong out of your life. If you allowed being socially inept sabotage your best relationship, get your mate back. You just may be able to overcome your struggles together and grow from them.

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