Thursday, August 23, 2012

What to Do (and Not to Do) When You Are Trying To Get Your Ex Back

Ok, you have decided you want your ex back. There are very important do's and just as important don'ts that are associated with this situation. You need to remember what you may have done wrong the first time so as not to do it again. Here are several mistakes you can avoid the second time around.

Desperation Is Your Enemy- One of the worst ways to get your ex back is the beggar approach. Always calling, begging to get back with him is not going to get it done. You are just vulnerable and needy when you do this, and this will keep him your ex instead of re-gaining him.

To Cling Is A Bad Thing- It is good to spend time with someone, but not all your time. Sure, he likely enjoys having you around, but all the time can make him feel suffocated. This could have been one of the factors in the initial breakup. When a breakup happens, contact should stop altogether. However difficult it may be, go back to your life before him. After the passage of time, he may miss you and re-initiate contact.

Do Not Be Too Available- I know you have heard this before, but it is true. Being instantly available to be with him if he calls makes you look like you have been pining away, waiting for him to realize that he misses you and come scoop you back up. This can give him a power over you that you seriously do not want to give. It can place you in the friends with benefits category, and if this guy is someone you feel is very special, or even "the one", then beneficial friends is a bad situation to get into.

Restore Yourself- Remember, you need to be happy with you, not just be happy when you are with him. A breakup can be painful and stressful, so fill your time with activities that get you away from that stress or pain. Keep in mind that these should be healthy activities such as exercising or hanging out with your friends a bit more. Once you get back into the swing of things, he may realize that he misses you and will want you again, seeing that you can be happy without him. It is a show of strength on your part, and strength is always a good thing.

That brings us to the end of this segment. To refresh, if you want to get your ex back, take heed to this advice. Do not call first and go on and on about how you want to be with him again. Do not be too available if he calls you first. Get back to your life before you met him and be happy with yourself. You are not a doormat, and you can live without him. Just be patient, and if things are meant to be, then they will be. Always watch your heart. If you would like to learn more about getting your ex back or any other area of dating tips, I will gladly answer your questions.

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