Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Having Problems Attracting A Soul Mate

Finding true love... Is it even possible, in a world where there are no glass slippers, no fairy godmothers, and no knights in shining armor? After a few failed attempts to find, and keep, the man of your dreams, you may begin to feel that everything is just a fairytale, and there's no point to keep looking. Or worse, you may start to think that it's your fault, and you have to change everything about you if you want to meet the right man. It's not your fault. You can't change who you are.

But you also can't control fate, so the best thing you can do is focus on yourself, on the tiny details you can improve, on how you can shine when you finally stumble upon your soulmate.

Most women who've had problems finding love ask whether they should lower their standards. It's a tricky question, and there's no answer to fit everybody. Maybe your standards are indeed unreasonable, as the famous Zsa Zsa Gabor once put it, "I want a man who's kind and understanding. Is that too much to ask of a millionaire?". It's worth taking a step back to analyze the situation; look at the men around your, your co-workers, friends, people you have in your lists on social media platforms, and so on: do you see yourself dating any of them? If the answer is a definite no, then you may want to reconsider your standards, you're probably in a phase of your life when you modeled your ideals based on unrealistic expectations. But don't worry too much: once you find the right man, the standards will suddenly adjust by themselves, before you can even realize it's happening.

There's a saying professional athletes know well: victories bring more victories. If love takes its time to appear in your life, use this period to focus on other aspects, on your career, hobbies, or friends. Once you gain stability - not only from the financial, but also from the social point of view - you may discover that more and more people are naturally attracted to you. At the same time, expanding your list of interests will help you meet new people, and extend your list of options. And, speaking of options, it's worth taking into account things that you haven't done before, such as accepting blind dates set up by your friends or relatives, or joining an online dating site. You hear tons of horror stories about arranged dates, but the reality is that this approach has proved effective in time, as others often have a better perspective of how two people fit together. (Remember the fairy godmother? Give her a chance, even if she doesn't have wings, and took the form of the old lady who works as a receptionist in your office.)

Love is not a race. You don't have to prove anything to anybody, not even to yourself. It's never too late to find your soulmate, and there's no reason to give up. After a dry spell, it can be difficult to find the right balance, between seeming too desperate to enter a relationship, and appearing too jaded and bored, without a real interest for anybody. Here's a little very effective trick: before you go on a date, or even before going to a party where you'll meet new people, watch a sitcom or a comedy (not a romantic comedy, just something downright silly, that will make you laugh). It will take the pressure off your shoulders, you'll arrive with a smile on your face - and a smile is worth more than a designer dress and diamond earrings.

So here's the bottom line: true love is real, as millions who have found it can testify. You just have to be ready for it - and don't expect it to show up on a white horse, it may be more likely in a mini-van.

Catch A Good Fish

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