It was a long time coming, but even China's Communist government can only do so much to prevent "modern ideas of sex" from knocking down its defenses and trying to weave itself into the country's fabric of old-fashioned beliefs. Many sexual behaviors are still considered illegal and punishable by law; nevertheless, the sexual revolution has found a theoretical chink in the long and winding Great Wall and has slowly, but surely, making its mark on Chinese society, especially among the current and the younger generations.
In fact, the sight of a Chinese business tycoon with a beautiful xiao laopo (mistress) dangling on his arm has become a cliché. The flesh trade and pornography industry have been steadily growing in the big cities. Premarital sex has become common. At the same time, as Tom Doctor off so aptly put it in his blog on huffingtonpost, "... in many ways, China's attitudes towards sex remain, by Western standards, prudish."
The media is still heavily censored and most mass advertising involving anything sexual features Caucasian, instead of Chinese, models. Even urban Chinese women who consider themselves fashionistas frown upon clothing that is too revealing. It is "bad behavior" for Chinese girls to date while in high school. While premarital sex has become commonplace, Chinese women are still rarely sexually aggressive, sticking to demure sexual behaviors; and Chinese men do not brag about their sexual exploits.
Given that the Chinese online dating industry has been booming in recent years, one would think the anonymity online dating sites provide their members would encourage more Chinese to engage in lascivious behaviors. With the exception of porn sites and online flesh trading sites parading as dating platforms, legitimate Chinese online dating sites seriously cater to the needs of the millions of Chinese singles looking for a partner in marriage, not in sex. At the end of the day, marriage remains an integral part of Chinese society's framework.
In China, marriage is not just about two people being united by law but more about the joining together of their respective families. While love has now become a major deciding factor among the current and younger generations when it comes to marriage, the sole purpose of marriage is still to produce a new generation. In fact, it is more of an obligation to society than a purpose, because Chinese society is built upon the backs of clans, not individuals.
The issues of the steadily increasing divorce rates in China and the increased freedom of Chinese wives and women to make their own choices are completely different issues. It is clear to see, however, that despite the double forces of the sexual and internet revolutions, and with one feeding off and fueling the other, Chinese beliefs on dating, sex, and marriage are still as solid as ever, for now at least. The situation is still at that point where it can go either way: these beliefs might eventually crumble under the influence of the contemporary and sex-infused culture or they may be deep-rooted and strong enough to bend and mold this foreign culture accordingly and assimilate it.
For now, countless Chinese singles have taken to the web and are engaging in online dating for the sole purpose of finding a mate to marry, not to play games with. They are in search of a potential lifetime partner that they can bring home and introduce to their parents. These potential partners still have to pass both standards set by the individual they are dating and his or her family. This especially applies to Western men who date Chinese women.
Such is the strength of Chinese culture that despite outside influence, the Chinese people still insist on and succeed in observing their traditions and applying their beliefs to contemporary norms.
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