Healing wounds suffered in a relationship is a painful exercise and is one that requires both time and effort to get through. Fixing a broken relationship is an arduous task and requires co-operation from both parties concerned.
A relationship between two individuals does not face an abrupt stop. Things start deteriorating and it is only after a certain time it reaches a point of no return. It is therefore very important to identify what issues made the relationship reach such a tipping point.
The same principles that a car mechanic would apply to repair your car, applies here to your relationship. He would first assess the situation and identify where exactly the situation went wrong and then take remedial steps. Similarly one needs to identify what caused the relationship to falter and then come up with a plan to counter it.
It is not just enough to identify what or where exactly you might have faltered but also important to critically make a self assessment as to what part you might have played in the relationship deteriorating. This is a difficult task considering no one wants to accede to have committed any wrong since in your view it is your partner who is always at fault. However you need to shut everything out and calmly asses the mistakes you might have committed and the painful acts that you might have done to hurt your partner.
It is not just physical acts, but painful words that you might have spoken during your angry outbursts may also have taken its toll on the relationship.
Once these mistakes are identified, one needs to make a dedicated effort in mitigating them. If you feel that your ego does not permit you to walk the whole distance and the effort is merely to buy temporary peace then it is better to terminate your relationship at that point. Dragging it further down the road will certainly make both of your lives more miserable.
Another aspect of working on a broken relationship to heal simmering wounds is the fact that it takes two to tango. If you are ready to walk that extra mile but your partner does not respond adequately or vice versa, this settlement will never work out. It is not possible to mend the relationship alone and if both of you feel that you are not able to commit 100% it is best you move on separately.
Some people are hesitant to work on their relationship for the reason that if by some miracle they get back together; they think it will never be the same way when the relationship started. The years of fighting and hurt caused will invariably leave behind scars. However, the good news is that time is a healer and the past experiences will make your marriage that much stronger.
These things need to be kept in mind when both of you are investing time in mending the pains of a broken relationship. If both of you feel that progress is being made and either side is reciprocating to the effort, the bond will get stronger than before. What you need however is a bit of patience and unconditional love.
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