The Problems of Dating May Boil Down to Poor Communications

No social interaction is without its problems, and dating is no different. The most serious problems of dating occur when two people are not truly compatible with each other.

Proper communication is of paramount importance. Many dating problems can be resolved if the two partners overcome their difficulties in expressing their feelings and learn to be clear about what they want.

However, if it seems to be impossible for the two of you to communicate with each other, it could be that you are not compatible with each other and you do not share the same likes and dislikes. You need to be comfortable with the other person in order to communicate effectively with him or her.

A relationship cannot be forced; If the two of you are too different, or if you have different goals for the relationship, you may find the relationship hard to salvage.

There are many factors that influence our conception of the ideal mate. according to John Money, Professor Emeritus Of Medical Psychology and Pediatrics at Johns Hopkins University, One of the most important is what he calls our "love map" - patterns encoded in our brains that describes our likes and dislikes. This love map is set by childhood, and it determines the kind of personality that appeals to us.

If the two of you are not compatible with each other, communication will at least help you to realize this and to sort things out.

Another problem is when the two partners have different needs than each other. For example one person may need more space than the other and this can make it difficult for the relationship.

Remember that men and women have different communication styles. Women talk more in terms of feelings, man more in terms of facts.

A woman who's had a hard day at the office may need a shoulder to cry on, while her partner mistakenly tries to minimize the problem. This may cause the woman to think her partner is insensitive.

According to Deborah Tannen, author of "You Just Don't Understand; Men Women and Men In Conversation" "since many men see themselves as problem solvers, a complaint is a challenge to their ability to think of a solution." But, says psychologist Bernie Zilbergeld, author of "The New Male Sexuality" many men are trying to be helpful in a loving way when they try to solve problems.

Understanding that communication problems may crop up can go a long way in determining if your relationship can be salvaged.