Monday, April 30, 2012

How to Ask the Right Questions When Dating Online

All right, you've joined a couple of dating sites, uploaded your profile, and added a nice photo of yourself. And you gotten a few interested contacts.

Now what? How do you separate the wheat from the chaff, those interested ladies with potential from those without? How do you find the truth about these virtual strangers, not just what they want you to believe about them?

It would be nice if women wore labels such as "Gold Digger," "Drama Queen," "Social Climbing Snob," "Gigolo Seeker" or "Ice Lady," but they don't. So it's up to you to find out these things for yourself (but NOT by asking direct questions).

It also helps to know what mistakes you can avoid making in order to impress the right lady. So here are some great questions to ask that will reveal a lot about her by her answers.

1. In the process of chatting online, and in the course of making small talk, you should ask, "What are the biggest mistakes guys make when dating?" Just ask this casually in the course of conversation, and listen carefully to the answers. She's going to reveal a treasure trove about herself and her views on men in general.

2. Another great question is "What do you think about dating (or online dating)?" This will give her an opportunity to tell you about any bad experiences she has had dating online to help you avoid making the same mistakes.

3. Now here's the important one: when the subject of her last relationship comes up, you should ask, "What caused the two of you to break up?"

I say to ask this when the subject of her last relationship comes up in order to avoid seeming to be prying. You can get the subject to come up in the first place by asking coy, casual questions like, "Have you been dating online long," or, "Have you met any other guys through this site?"

Now listen carefully to the answer. If she puts all the blame for the breakup on the other guy, you should take this as a warning signal. If she takes all the blame herself (unlikely) this might also give you pause. If she says the breakup was by mutual consent and accepts some blame herself, you have found the best answer.

Asking the right questions in your initial chats will give you great insights into the other person and make you more confident when you meet her for the first time.

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