Finding a boyfriend or girlfriend is one of the most natural human activities, - after all, we wouldn't all be here now if our ancestors hadn't all been doing it successfully for the past several hundred millennia.
In theory, meeting a partner and living happily ever after is easy - all you have to do is:
1. Meet someone,
2. Exchange telephone numbers,
3. Go on a date and
4. Become a couple
However, in practice, many things conspire to make things a lot more difficult.
Some people have trouble getting to first base and are unable to meet potential mates. Others fall at the second hurdle - they see someone they would like to know better, but they are too shy to make contact and to ask for their number. Many of those who manage to get to step three and go on a date, blow any chance of success by being too nervous and awkward.
Even those who make it to stage four and get into a relationship are not safe. They may cause drama and upset with their partner and eventually split.
The cause of all this emotional drama and ineffective behaviour can be traced back to bad quality thinking. Life doesn't come with an instruction manual and we just pick things up as we go along. Some of us are lucky and learn effective strategies for finding partners and some of us are less lucky and carry within us beliefs and emotional baggage that hinder our search for love.
If you are constantly struggling to find love, then a period of exploring your inner-most thoughts and connecting with yourself will help. This will help you expand your self-awareness and get you into the right mindset for love:
Here are 3 quick and simple things you can do:
1. Meditate
Take time-out, on a regular basis, to check in with yourself and to explore where your feelings and emotions are coming from. Getting some clarity about why you do what you do will not only ensure that you make wiser relationship decisions, but will ensure that things run more smoothly and more happily.
A very simple way to meditate is to find a quiet room where you will not be disturbed. Sit upright in a firm chair, with your feet on the ground and your hands cupped together on your lap. Close your eyes, take a deep breath and then exhale all the way out. Continue doing this and then just focus your mind on your breathing as it naturally and comfortably goes in and out.
Count each complete breath (inhalation and exhalation) silently in your head and then count your breaths from 1 to 10. When you get to 10, go back and start at 1 again. Ignore all outside interferences and just focus on your breathing. Whenever your mind wanders, catch yourself and go back and re-focus on your breathing. If you lose count, just go back naturally, and without any drama, and start again at 1.
Do this for 5 minutes everyday and, in time, when you are ready, increase the time to whatever you are comfortable with.
Regular meditation like this will de-stress, refresh and centre you. In time, you will be able to shut out all the external clutter and internal chatter and get a clearer idea of who you are, why you do what you do, what you want and how best to go about getting it.
2. Appreciate Yourself
Make a list on a big piece of paper of all the good things about you that you like and are proud of. These can be about your appearance, your personality, your values or things that you have done or achieved. Put everything down, big and small. Check the list every day and add to it on a regular basis.
As you go through life and get tossed about by things that make you unhappy, checking in with your appreciation list will remind you of how wonderful you are and anchor you to a positive state of mind.
3. Befriend Yourself
Start treating yourself as you would your best friend. You wouldn't think twice about insulting your best-friend, so why do you do it to yourself? The source of a lot of your problems in life is the little voice in your head which is only too ready to insult and put you down. Seize back control of your thoughts and mind and, instead, make a point of giving yourself compliments and little regular treats.
By doing this, you will not only avoid causing yourself self-inflicted upset but you will set a higher standard of behaviour for your future partners to treat you by.
These are three simple and easy actions that you can start implementing today which will have a major impact on improving your self-awareness and self-esteem and get you into a powerful mindset for love.
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