You are probably getting tired of sifting through all of the "your hot" emails and using your sword of womanly righteousness to keep the creepers and perverts at bay. Oh yes, and I spelled "you're" incorrectly on purpose, because we both know that a lot of those drooling, sex crazed maniacs won't even take the time to construct a coherent sentence, right?
And I bet that you are wondering, to quote Paula Cole, "Where have all the cowboys gone?"! Are the good guys even on this site? you might wonder this! chances are with all of the millions of page views that the average dating site gets a month that indeed your knight in shining armor is right around the corner, but could it be that he already checked out your dating profile and was turned away?
If so, what caused him to run? did you miss your big opportunity? You didn't miss your divine chance, because there are plenty of fish in the sea, but there are 5 huge mistakes that women make when setting up their dating profiles that cause the "keepers" to walk away and the "creepers" to drool even more!
An Online Dating Profile Is A Resume
If you were putting together a resume to be seen by a potential, new employer, you wouldn't be careless. Heck, you might even hire a professional to set it up for you, and what would this expert do differently? they would be stripping out the things that turn off a future boss and including the things that catch their eyes!
Well, the sad truth is that there are 5 major fallacies that almost all women make on their profiles that cause the bad guys to become even more sex-raged and the good ones to look down upon you, but let's change that, OK?
#1 Dating Profile Mistake - Don't Talk About Your Cat
Guys fear the crazy cat lady that was so brilliantly epitomized in The Simpsons for flinging her felines at the neighbor kids.
Men also can detect this strange feeling like they are going to be shelved and that a woman's cat is going to get more attention.
Look, it's cool if you love kitties (I do!), but don't mention or make them the major part of your dating profile, even if you are crazy about "fluffy". Truth is, it's a 50/50 whether a guy is a cat lover or a dog lover, so why turn away 50% of your potential, future husbands right away?
#2 Dating Profile Mistake - Too Many Demands
Boy, this one is big! 90% of the profiles that I see look like a catalog. He should be tall, handsome, successful, respectful, love his family, good to me, won't want sex all the time, rub my feet, save babies from burning buildings, make 200k a year, drive a Mercedes, you get the point.
Ask yourself this. When have you ever looked at a guy's profile that outlined so many stipulations and thought "wow! this is the one!"?
When a guy sees a girl being this demanding before even connecting with men, he will run for the hills. Why? because he's imagining what life would be like with this girl, and the story ain't pretty.
No man wants to feel like he's going to be trapped, always lose, whipped, expected to do impossible things and fulfill incredibly unrealistic expectations. By the way, that's called "conditional" love, and we all know that doesn't work.
#3 Dating Profile Mistake - Fish Lips & Other Blunders
Whether you are 19 or 48, guys really despise the cutesy fish lips. They also don't like the overhead, "taken in my bathroom" angles.
The keepers are seriously turned off by overly planned photos, but the creeps love them! When a guy sees your dating profile photo looking extremely manufactured (obvious pose, too much makeup, trying to look too cool) it's a big no-no. It registers as compensating for a lack of confidence, but the perverts get more and more turned on by this.
Remember, guys really do like confident women. But ironically a photo of you trying too hard is going to tell him that you are just the opposite.
No Children In Photos
If you have kids and are a single mom in the dating world, no matter how young or old, there is nothing wrong with getting out there! congrats! but don't include photos of you with your children.
A guy has to look at your photo and see himself in the picture. "Could I be with this girl? I like her smile and that carefree spirit that comes across". But it makes it really difficult for a man to process this when he's distracted with a kid in the pic.
He has to see the two of you as a couple first. Plus, remember - it's a dating site! it's supposed to be joyous, not heavy. What if you are a really laid back woman who has a 4 year old and you would make a great companion?
It would be a shame to sell yourself short without getting to meet him. Because a man will look at the photo and think "financial responsibility", "jump in and settle down from day one", "am I ready for this?" and he'll just click away.
Don't overwhelm your future mate with too many of your details yet. Let him get to know you and be able to grasp who you are in a nice, even pattern. Point is, the photo sets so much of the tone of what could be a relationship!
#4 Dating Profile Mistake - Cynicism & Man Bashing
Look, we've all been burned by the opposite sex, but what are you trying to accomplish with your dating profile? to meet a great guy who could be the best thing that ever happened to you, or to organize a man-hater's club?
Although you might still be nursing the wounds from "Ted who ran off with your Playstation", when you reflect resentment and regret in your dating profile it makes you look like you aren't strong.
It can comes across that you can't recover and especially that you will be extremely
guarded, and no one wants to date someone who is "damaged". This also can reveal how you might handle future obstacles to a guy's instinct. Will you be the kind of girl who can prevail, has a strong heart and can go through the ups and downs of a relationship, or are you going to bail when you find his toenail clippings on the bathroom floor?
Subconsciously, this does resonate within a man's intuition. So be mindful, which brings me to the most important part that will make the other mistakes completely avoidable.
#5 Dating Profile Mistake - Not Being Positive, Not Being Yourself
Remember, when you are writing a dating profile, you are selling yourself. Whatever you choose to sell is up to you, but there are good and bad consequences.
Be upbeat! be who you are and keep your profile exciting! Even if your life is pretty mundane and routine to you, that doesn't matter. Make your profile say "who wouldn't want to date me? - I'm a blast!". Just don't be arrogant, ever.
Bonus Tip: Have someone else that you know personally look over your profile. It's hard to see what comes across when it's about us and we are putting together a bit of a story that describes ourselves.
A friend or family member will be able to see where you are selling yourself short, what comes across as weird or negative, and they will be able to express that "weird vibe" that they get from this photo or that little bit of description.
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