Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Why Funny Guys Get The Girls

All of us have seen a funny guy talking to a lady. The funny man will say things to make her laugh, giggle and blush. But why is this a trait that makes a man so irresistible to the ladies?

The biggest reason why women find funny men so attractive is that they are so confident. It is known fact that most women are attracted to a confident man. Confident men can make them feel at ease and safe. Most women are looking for someone they can rely on and who can look after them or their children if needed. A confident man is something that helps indicate to them that these needs can be met.

Now that we have established what makes a funny man so attractive you are probably wondering how you can be that guy. Being the 'funny guy' may not be as easy as you think. Being funny is something that takes time and a lot of effort to become. The first thing you need to master is increasing your confidence because people are more likely to laugh if you're confident. The first step in becoming more confident is to work on your appearance and transform yourself into something that you're proud of. This will surely score you points with the ladies also. There are lots of guides on the internet as well as books on how to increase your confidence. If you are not a very confident person then I suggest you do some reading as it will help you in all aspects of your life.

Another way to become a funnier person is to surround yourself with humor. The more you see and hear things that are funny, the more you will understand the art of humor. There are lots of funny pictures websites out there and you can look at the social media shares to gauge how funny a picture is. Another thing to look at is funny videos on popular video viewing websites. If you look at the amount of up votes something has then you can see how popular that type of humor is. Additionally there are lots of funny comedians who do stand-up shows that you could pick up some tips from.
One of the major things to avoid when trying to be funny around women is making fun of them. A little bit of teasing is not so bad but you have to be very careful not to hurt their feelings. No one likes being made fun of. Try to put yourself in their shoes and try to understand how they may feel when you make certain jokes. An easy thing to do instead is to make jokes as your own expense but make sure they're not too serious. You don't want them to mistake you making fun of yourself for complaining due to low confidence.

The overall most important thing you can ever do to achieve success with women is to practice. You could approach women when you're out shopping or getting some food. Drop a few light hearted jokes and see what works. You have nothing to lose if you don't know the girl and you may even end up chatting and becoming friends or more! Always make sure to remember that not every girl will like you or want to be your friend. It is important to not let it affect your confidence and self-esteem. There are plenty more women out there who would love to meet someone like you and would find your jokes funny.

How to Attract a Man and Make Him Feel Addicted to You

You've got some pretty high aspirations because not only do you want to know what it is that you have to do to attract a man, you also want to know what you can do to make him feel like he is addicted to you. It's good to have those kinds of aspirations because it means that you think highly of yourself and you know that you are a good woman who deserves to find the happiness in a relationship that you would like to have. It doesn't have to be all that hard to attract a guy you like and then make him feel almost like he is addicted to you.

Here are some tips that are sure to help you do just that:

1. First things first - you have to find a way to get his attention.

Having a crush on a guy or thinking that he is cute and you'd like to date him is one thing, actually making that become a possibility is another. What you are going to have to do is to try to find a good way to get his attention. You don't want to attract his attention for all of the wrong reasons, so you can't just do anything that comes to mind. You have to put some thought into this if you are going to attract his attention and keep him feeling curious and interested in you.

2. You have to be able to make him feel like he is having a lot of fun being around you.

Once you have his attention, you definitely need to do what you can to make him feel like being around you is better than just about anything else that he could be doing. This is the way to slowly make him feel like he has to be around you, he wants to be around you. This is the way to make him feel like he is almost becoming addicted to you.

3. You also need to make him feel a little bit of the thrill of having to chase after you.

Too much of this can be a bad thing, just enough can be oh so right. If he feels as though he has to chase after you a little to try to win you over, you are already going to know that he is very attracted to you and that you are getting under his skin in a good way. That's definitely what you want to happen if you want to make him addicted to you.

How to Attract a Girlfriend - You've Got to Be Electrifying

A friend of mine and I have a little inside joke that we tell before we go out to clubs or bars. He'll say, "how are you feeling tonight," and I'll say Electrified. It cracks us up because it kind of sounds corny, but the fact remains that there is some truth in there. Somewhere. One of the things that acts as kind of a repellent to women is when you come across as being just another boring guy, hoping that somehow and in some way, you'll be able to make a woman fall for you. That's not exactly the best state to be in. As corny as it does sound, being electrifying when you go out is going to get you more action than being totally boring.

The sad thing is, most men don't seem to know when they are being boring. Sometimes, I think that they actually think that they are being exciting and electrifying. They'll talk about their boring job and their boring boss and their boring life and somehow feel like they are really bringing something to the table. The bad thing is, the woman that they are talking to has a totally different opinion. She is just bored. However, most women don't say that. They don't come right out and tell you to be more interesting. Instead, they find an excuse to get away. They go to the bathroom, or they say that they have to find their friend, or they turn to the bar tender and talk to him instead.

Here are some tips that will help you become less boring and as a result, make it so much EASIER for you to attract a girlfriend:

1. Don't talk about yourself so much.

One of the secrets for making conversation that is interesting, is that you need to make the other person feel like they are more involved than you are. A good way to do that is to get the woman to talk about herself. It's an easy thing to do, I find that most women don't have a hard time talking about themselves unless they are boring themselves. Yeah, there are women like that out there. I try to stay away from them as much as I can. If you can get her EXCITED while talking about something that she LOVES to talk about - it's not that hard to take that excitement that she is feeling and direct it back at yourself.

2. Actually start to do things in your spare time that are interesting.

You don't have to be a rock star or a millionaire to do interesting things. Really, as long as it SOUNDS interesting, you've already won. For example, you might have some friends who really aren't that good at making music, but since they are a "band," you can truthfully talk about how you hang out with them before a gig and that alone is going to sound kind of interesting. Or, you can do some outdoor activities that don't cost money like hiking. The more things that you can bring to the table in a conversation that sound interesting - the more likely it is that a woman is going to be interested in YOU.

3. Learn how to talk sexually to a woman in a way that totally excites her.

You can't go and talk the way that they do in bad movies where the guys use puns in all of the wrong places or just end up sounding like a creepy little pervert. What you can do is to use words that are sexual, but not really use them in a sexual context. For example, you can tell a story about something that you did recently, but weave it in such a way that it has a sexual undertone to it. When you can do this really well, not only will you attract a woman's attention, but chances are good that she will be a little bit excited just by talking to you.

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

A Guide to the Friend Zone When Dating

Attention daters: The Friend Zone is not always a bad thing! We've all had a crush on a male friend at some point or another; maybe you even ended up in a relationship with one of these guys. However, like it or not, male friends are not always going to like you back in the same way you're interested in them.

But wait! This can be a GREAT thing. "How can this possibly be a good thing?" you ask. Let us tell you four ways.

1. Bounce your current dating situation off an actual male, and you may actually get SOLID advice.

Let's face it: Asking your lady friends can be a good idea sometimes. But in reality, women don't always give the best advice to their friends. (Which is why a session with a professional dating coach can be the best decision you make this year.) But if you aren't ready for that, start with a male friend who can actually give you the male perspective on what's going on in your love life; often, it can be extremely insightful!

2. You might find the one guy who can fit in your friend zone, and then you can meet HIS friends.

Most heterosexual men I know aren't really looking to get into a platonic relationship with a woman they actually find attractive and interesting. They usually want to at least get in their pants, and at most get into an awesome relationship. On the off chance that you meet one of the former who actually is interested in forming a friendship with a female (and you enjoy his company but aren't interested in him), Get. Him. In. The. Friend. Zone. Not only did you just gain a new buddy, but he might have some guy friends you could be interested in!

3. The proof is in the pudding.

In a recent study recently of US males:

- 84% say it's possible to have a "just friends" relationship with a girl.

- 83% say it's possible for a girl to switch from someone they just want to be friends with, to a romantic interest, and back to just wanting to be friends.

- 43% say if they have a girlfriend already, it's easier for them to have platonic girl friends.

4. Things aren't the same anymore.

"The belief that men and women can't be friends comes from another era in which women were at home and men were in the workplace, and the only way they could get together was for romance," explained Linda Sapadin, a psychologist in Valley Stream, New York. "Now they work together and share sports interests and socialize together." When Harry Met Sally basically set the potential for male/female platonic friendship back about 25 years. So we're in a whole new era, Dignity Daters!

So, do you have a guy friend in your phone you haven't talked to in a few weeks? Invite him on a platonic bowling date and get his opinion on your new guy. Met a new guy you like but don't love, and he asked you out for beers? Take a chance and go. You never know where it might lead; he might become your new wingman!

Monday, March 18, 2013

Chinese Online Dating: A Leap of Faith

IE 7 ]> EzineArticles Submission - Submit Your Best Quality Original Articles For Massive Exposure, Ezine Publishers Get 25 Free Article Reprints

Why You're Still Single: You're Unknowingly Limiting Your Lifestyle

IE 7 ]> EzineArticles Submission - Submit Your Best Quality Original Articles For Massive Exposure, Ezine Publishers Get 25 Free Article Reprints

Probability and Love: Why Numbers Matter

IE 7 ]> EzineArticles Submission - Submit Your Best Quality Original Articles For Massive Exposure, Ezine Publishers Get 25 Free Article Reprints

Relationship Wisdom: Stonewalling Versus Criticising

In an intimate relationship there are common dynamics of interactions. One of them I deal with in couple clients is the stonewalling versus criticising dynamic. This dynamic is one that can become entrenched in a couple's engagement with each other and lead to severe dissatisfaction with the relationship.

What relationship research shows

Relationship expert Dr John Gottman, who researched couples for the past 40 years, has coined the term of the 'Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse in Relationships', which lead to marital disaster. Two of the four steps are criticism and stonewalling.

According to his research 85% of men are stonewallers where the majority of women are critics. Stonewalling means that the person disengages from the conversation, pretending to still be part of it by being physically present, but giving minimal verbal feedback. Energetically the person has already left the interaction.

The stonewalling-critic dynamic

Often when there is a critic (usually but not exclusively women) and a skilled stonewaller the dynamic quickly starts to run and leads into an unhealthy cycle where one role feeds the other.

The critic starts sending out messages, which might not even be criticism at the beginning. The stonewaller starts to engage as he is usually very sensitive to being criticised and hears any comment as critical. To avoid any further comments or interactions, he intensifies the 'dis-engagement'. This infuriates the critic as all she wants is for him to at least engage and say something. In this moment, the critic might up the ante and actually say something critical, just to get a reaction. At this point the stonewaller will shut down the interactions until the situation has cooled down again.

Influences of personalities

Depending on the personalities involved in this dynamic and how long it takes one or the other to cool down and whether and when they are ready to lead into repair mechanism this dynamic can either very quickly lead into a spiral downward to marital disaster or just be a repeated pattern of a relationship.

Especially when stress levels are up, it is more likely for this dynamic to endanger the relationship as none of the two might have much energy left to lend a hand and start to climb back up to martial harmony.

The way out of the dynamic

Depending on the level of self-awareness and reflection, a couple will easily be able to work together towards harmony. Often what it needs is the ability to allow vulnerability and openness to let each other in what is going on for each side of the dynamic. This especially requires the critic to let go or tone down criticism and for the stonewaller to be ready to engage and be open.

If you as a coupe encounter challenges when trying to repair, make sure to ask a trained and unbiased professional for help.

Saturday, March 16, 2013

Do You Need Help Winning Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

Some women are lucky enough not to encounter any trouble when trying to win their ex boyfriends back. This is mostly because they know exactly what they want, so they approach the process with confidence and end up back in their ex lovers' arms as if nothing tore them apart to begin with. Not every woman is that confident, though. In fact, most women are clueless and worried when it comes to trying to win their ex back.

So, if you are a woman and you need a confidence boost in winning your ex boyfriend back, then here are several suggestions that may come in handy for you:

1. Talk about your feelings through song.

If you have no idea what to say when winning your ex boyfriend back, then try to use songs to tell him how you feel. If you can sing well, then sing him a song. If you can't, then ask somebody else to do it or just play the songs on a media player of some sort, or share a playlist with him through the Internet.

2. Get emotional through text.

Text messages would be another great tool in winning your ex boyfriend back because they can help you tell him how you truly feel. Texts would be especially helpful if you find yourself tongue-tied whenever you actually see your ex in person because nothing will hold you back if you get to process your words and thoughts beforehand. The best part is that you can change your words as needed before sending your text messages, as well.

3. Get friends to help you out.

If you think that your chances of winning your ex boyfriend back are incredibly low at the moment, then you might want to turn to some of your most trusted friends for help. If you and your ex have common friends, then ask one of them to help you win him back. You need to be very careful when it comes to this, though. Ideally, you should make sure that your common friend understands you and only has your best interests at heart. See, if you end up contacting a common friend who sides with your ex, then things could get even worse for you than they already are. In other words, just be very careful in terms of who you trust and what you do. This will ensure that you are met with the utmost success in the end.

Friday, March 15, 2013

Dating Advice For Men - F Is for Friend Zone

IE 7 ]> EzineArticles Submission - Submit Your Best Quality Original Articles For Massive Exposure, Ezine Publishers Get 25 Free Article Reprints

Flowers for Her

IE 7 ]> EzineArticles Submission - Submit Your Best Quality Original Articles For Massive Exposure, Ezine Publishers Get 25 Free Article Reprints

My Boyfriend Is Playing Games With Me - How Do I Make It STOP?

IE 7 ]> EzineArticles Submission - Submit Your Best Quality Original Articles For Massive Exposure, Ezine Publishers Get 25 Free Article Reprints

How Should I Approach My Ex Girlfriend If I Want Her Back?

IE 7 ]> EzineArticles Submission - Submit Your Best Quality Original Articles For Massive Exposure, Ezine Publishers Get 25 Free Article Reprints

Sneaky Psychological Tactics That Can Help You Win Your Ex Boyfriend Back

IE 7 ]> EzineArticles Submission - Submit Your Best Quality Original Articles For Massive Exposure, Ezine Publishers Get 25 Free Article Reprints

Online Dating Success Rate

IE 7 ]> EzineArticles Submission - Submit Your Best Quality Original Articles For Massive Exposure, Ezine Publishers Get 25 Free Article Reprints

When Dating, Keep Your Eye on the Prize

If you are dating or new to the singles scene and thinking about dating, let me ask you this: What are your goals? Are you looking for a life partner? Companionship? A fun sexual relationship? Close your eyes and take a moment to focus on this. When an answer comes to you, read on.

If you've had difficult dating experiences, dating can feel like a hassle; and thus it's easy to lose sight of why you're doing it in the first place. Meeting new people and trying new things can be very satisfying and fun, especially when you're feeling the best about yourself, doing things you enjoy, and-particularly when it feels like a hassle- reminding yourself of your own unique goal. Feeling good about yourself while dating is not always easy. Most have found themselves-sometimes even routinely- in less than perfect dating situations. There's no need to put yourself down when you hit a few road bumps. Instead, reach within to access internal sources of strength to make your dating life the best it can be.

Dating works best for you when you are feeling good about yourself. One reason dating can sometimes be difficult might be because of the negative messages you tell yourself that interfere with your ability to feel your best when connecting with a new person. What are the negative messages you tell yourself that take away from feeling your best? These messages may be related to what you believe dating will be like ("I won't have fun" or "It will be a waste of time.") Other messages may be related to the singles scene ("there are no good wo/men out there. Everyone good is already taken!") Negative self-talk also can be about fear of rejection ("I won't be able to handle rejection") or feeling not great about yourself ("I am not attractive enough"). Whatever flavor of negative self-talk you participate in, you no longer need to fall victim to the voices inside your head. For every negative message you hold there's a positive one you can access to make dating even more enjoyable!

It is natural to have "collected" some negative messages through bad dating experiences and when these messages sound a little bit too loud, it is time to consider using some tools to turn those speakers down. Think about some of the beliefs or attitudes you have about yourself that get in your own way; and make a commitment to attack them forcefully and head-on!

A very effective way to defeat that negative voice in your head is to write down a list of these self-defeating beliefs, words, or attitudes that affect your ability to feel good while dating. Include all of the ways that you put yourself down. Next, read each item to yourself one by one and come up with a positive affirmation that opposes the negative message about yourself. Challenge those negative beliefs by asking yourself, "Is this completely true?" For example, if you tell yourself "I am not attractive enough," write down all of the evidence against this statement. If you listed "there is no one good out there", remind yourself that you are out there dating, aren't you?! If your fear is about your ability to handle rejection, write down "Nothing really consequential will happen to me if I am rejected and- in fact by being rejected-I may even prove to myself that I don't need to fear rejection in the future." If you are sure you won't have fun or will be wasting your time, you can add to your list "I may even meet someone I'd like to see again (!)."

After coming up with your positive affirmations, or pieces of positive self-talk, write them down on index cards to keep around your home, in your wallet or in your car. Don't only look at these before attempting to go out to meet someone or going on a date! Look at these affirmations regularly or at least on a daily basis so that they become your new thinking habits. As you practice internalizing these positive and factual messages, eventually you'll almost certainly find that the positive ones become automatic and triumphantly replace those obsolete negative ones-permanently!

Remember-you are dating for a reason! Have fun! And when dating isn't as fun as you'd like, remember to use this tool, or some of the others that I offer in my book Stage Climbing: The Shortest Path to Your Highest Potential.

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Reconciling With Your Husband

IE 7 ]> EzineArticles Submission - Submit Your Best Quality Original Articles For Massive Exposure, Ezine Publishers Get 25 Free Article Reprints

How Do I Have No Contact With My Ex Girlfriend If I See Her a Lot?

IE 7 ]> EzineArticles Submission - Submit Your Best Quality Original Articles For Massive Exposure, Ezine Publishers Get 25 Free Article Reprints

How to Seduce Women Online - You Can't Be Shy About Meeting in Person

The idea of being able to seduce a woman online is a pleasant one. If you are the kind of guy who doesn't like to go out to clubs where the music is too loud and the bass is so deep you can feel it in your stomach, you might feel like being able to use an online dating site to try and seduce a woman is the best option available. I really can't disagree with you there. I don't mind the club scene myself, but at the same time, online dating sites can be a great place to meet women.

Here is the rub, though.

You can't be afraid to actually meet up with a woman you meet online in person. And you have to know that this is what has to happen when you go into using online dating sites. You can't adopt some phony online persona and then expect that you are going to be able to impress her when you actually get the chance to meet up with her.

Because, let's be real, you really can't seduce a woman online as much as you can meet a woman and then meet up with her and then see if the sparks are really there.

Some guys forget that this has to take place.

They'll concoct a phony story about who they are. Or, they will act really BOLD online when they are nothing but meek in person. You have to remember that whomever it is that she feels like she is falling for when you meet on the web, she has to feel like that is the same guy that she is meeting in person.

It's not that hard to find a woman to talk to online. It's not that hard to build up enough attraction with her so that she wants to meet up with you in person. It's not even that hard to be able to escalate things when you do meet up in person - if you stay congruent throughout the whole process.

I'm always reminded of a mistake that a friend of mine made. He played up this kind of phony version of himself online, acting like he was a little more successful than he really was. When it came time to meet the woman face to face, he had to deal with the reality that he wasn't that successful.

Of course, the sparks were not there when he actually was with her face to face. I don't think it had much to do with his lack of success as it did with the fact that he was clearly portraying himself one way online and then when she met up with him - it was like she was meeting a totally different guy.

See, you have to be able to make that transition where you can actually go out on a date with her, and you need to keep that in mind from the very beginning. Do that and you probably will find that it is actually kind of easy to seduce a woman online.

How to Flirt Effectively With a Woman - Tips for Making Her Feel Connected to You

The best flirting that a guy can do is the kind that really makes a woman feel like she is connected to him. If you want to know why some guys can seem to have nothing but success with women, it is usually because they know how to make a woman feel an instant sense of connection with them. Of course, just knowing that this is something that you want to be able to do doesn't mean that you are actually going to be able to do it. This article is going to show you some tips on how you can flirt with a woman so that she does start to feel a connection with you.

Here are a few tips for flirting effectively with a woman:

1) A shared joke can go a long way towards building rapport with a woman.

If you can, try to find something that you and her have in common that you can joke about. It doesn't have to be the best joke ever, just something that both of you can relate to in a funny way. For example, if you find out that you both have pretty monotonous jobs, that is something that you can joke about and it is something that you both have in common.

2) Connect with her through the eyes.

This really is one of the best ways to make a woman feel like she has made a rare connection with you. If you ask most women, they will almost all say that they do pay attention to a guy's eyes. Thankfully, if you perfect your gaze, you don't have to have those dreamy blue eyes that you think you have to have to really connect with a woman.

3) Use a little physical contact when you are flirting with her.

People that know each other tend to touch each other in certain ways when they are talking. Well, at least if they really feel like they share a connection with one another they will. If you want to make her feel that way when she is around you, don't be afraid to use a little bit of physical contact. Sometimes something as simple as a hand on her shoulder while you are looking at her is all you have to do.

You really do need to know how to flirt with a woman if you are looking to get better in general as far as dating goes. A man who doesn't know how to make a woman feel like she is connected to him is a man who is probably going to be spending some alone time, if you know what I mean.

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

How to Attract a Man You Have a Crush On - 3 Tips For Hooking Him

IE 7 ]> EzineArticles Submission - Submit Your Best Quality Original Articles For Massive Exposure, Ezine Publishers Get 25 Free Article Reprints

Am I Happy?

IE 7 ]> EzineArticles Submission - Submit Your Best Quality Original Articles For Massive Exposure, Ezine Publishers Get 25 Free Article Reprints

Relationship Problems: Four Possible Reasons For Failure

IE 7 ]> EzineArticles Submission - Submit Your Best Quality Original Articles For Massive Exposure, Ezine Publishers Get 25 Free Article Reprints

5 Tips on How to Write Poems to Get Your Boyfriend Back

IE 7 ]> EzineArticles Submission - Submit Your Best Quality Original Articles For Massive Exposure, Ezine Publishers Get 25 Free Article Reprints

How to Become a More Attractive Man

So you want to learn how to be more attractive to women and get them to chase you. Well then let me tell you that it's not all about the looks and physical appearances (although that helps - a lot!)

Sure, who wouldn't want to look at rock hard abs, six packs, muscled arms, tall and muscular figure, ahem. But to the right woman, it takes more than abs and killer dimples to impress her (but again, that helps a lot!)

Carrying a normal conversation

You need to be able to carry a normal conversation with her, preferably something that doesn't involve leering or staring at her breasts. You can't exactly take her out on a date and be silent the whole time. But you can't bore her to death on your many awards and achievements either.

You need to learn to talk and listen and tell a story with humor and emotions. You need a variety of topics because the better you get at making conversations, the more women will find you fascinating and would want to spend more time with you.

Confidence

One of the most important things you need to be more attractive to women is to have confidence. One example is this whole "alpha male" attitude or take care behavior. No need to be bossy but women do like a man who can take charge and knows what he wants. It means that she can rely on you and you can take care of others as well as yourself.

In other words, you know your worth and that you're worthy of attention. You're strong and independent and you're well capable of protecting yourself and your partner. It's a magnetic behavior that can make women have goosebumps and make her feel all tingly inside. Imagine having a strong, confident man beside who would keep her safe.

Sense of humor

A sense of humor is a must if you want to be more attractive to women. This is especially important in communication. Again, you don't want to bore her or make her think that you're a stiff. Humor and laughter can help you bond with someone, in this case, your date.

She would want to spend time with you if you can make her laugh because you know how to make her feel good. You can socially connect with her and you can make her feel close to you. You can break the ice between the two of you and soon she would become more open and maybe even learn to trust you.

Get a life and find a passion

If you want to be interesting then you need to do something interesting. You can't impress her and say you're interesting if you spend most of your time being a couch potato. Go do something interesting, try some new things, new hobbies, or find a passion.

If you have something you're passionate about then you would have direction in your life. Maybe you really love sports or your career or you're into traveling. Traveling would be good because a lot of people like to travel. And if you have that special someone in your life, then you can take her with you and it will be even more fun!

Bottom line is, being attractive to women is not all about looks. It's about being you and being the right kind of man for her. You can have the rock hard abs but if you can't carry a conversation, or have a sense of humor, or have passion or confidence, then you're nothing more than eye candy to her.

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Jealousy Destroys Life and Promotes Darkness

IE 7 ]> EzineArticles Submission - Submit Your Best Quality Original Articles For Massive Exposure, Ezine Publishers Get 25 Free Article Reprints

Flirt With Women: 5 Easy Tips

IE 7 ]> EzineArticles Submission - Submit Your Best Quality Original Articles For Massive Exposure, Ezine Publishers Get 25 Free Article Reprints

What Women Really Want From a Guy - Tips for Men

IE 7 ]> EzineArticles Submission - Submit Your Best Quality Original Articles For Massive Exposure, Ezine Publishers Get 25 Free Article Reprints

Seven Reasons We MIGHT Open The Doors of Our Lives to Others: Reason No 3 - To Calm Fears

IE 7 ]> EzineArticles Submission - Submit Your Best Quality Original Articles For Massive Exposure, Ezine Publishers Get 25 Free Article Reprints

Monday, March 11, 2013

Was He Mr Right?

IE 7 ]> EzineArticles Submission - Submit Your Best Quality Original Articles For Massive Exposure, Ezine Publishers Get 25 Free Article Reprints

Is There a Correlation Between Having a Partner and a Relationship and Feeling Happy?

Is there a correlation between having a partner and being happy? Some believe that the "trick" to being happy is to have a relationship, as if it will solve all problems: depression, sadness, low self-esteem and so on. Having a relationship - so they believe - will make them satisfied and content.

Those thinking that way often attempt various ways in order to find a partner. As if having one will alleviate all their problems.

Unfortunately, things don't work that way. The reasons are many:

1. Thinking that having a relationship will solve all their problems and will make them happy drives them to enter a relationship with whoever asks them out. This by itself is like playing a Russian roulette: you never know who you end up with, and what sort of a relationship you'll have. The motivating force to enter a relationship is a wrong one: to escape being alone. But then, not being selective about whom you are driven into a relationship with, can often end up with bad and frustrating experiences rather than with a satisfying and a happy bond.

2. Having a partner doesn't mean all your problems will be solved. Indeed, having a suitable partner can enable you to confront your problems with his/her support (even though this isn't always the case!); to discuss your problems with him/her (which, again, isn't always the case); to share your fears, needs and difficulties. But these all don't mean your problems will vanish (and, in some cases, if you depends too much on your partner to "be there for you" while you are busy solving your problems on a daily basis you might inadvertently drive your partner away from you).

3. Being happy is not something someone "do" to you. It is a feeling that comes from within - feeling satisfied with who you are. Indeed, at times having a relationship enables you to feel more satisfied with your life, but it isn't the relationship that makes you happy. Rather, it is the style of living, thinking and feeling you have adapted to yourself which have brought you to the brinks of a satisfying relationship. We all know unaccounted number of people in a relationship who are not happy. It therefore goes without saying that in order to feel happy with your life you need to feel happy with "who you are"; all the rest follows.

Those trying to have a relationship but to no avail feel frustrated, disappointed, asking themselves why aren't they successful, why don't they have a partner with whom to develop the intimacy they so much desire.

In order to change their situation they first need to become aware of the reasons for their failures, the reasons which prevent them from succeeding. It is then that they can feel more free, knowing that, with their renewed understanding, they now have the choice to approach life and relationships in a slightly different manner. Realizing they have a choice they are no longer imprisoned in their habitual ways of thinking, feeling and doing things. They can now attempt new ways of reacting and behaving.

Knowing that they can take themselves in their own hands is by itself an empowering feeling. And this, by itself, can reduce their feeling of frustration and misery and lead them to view their life and potential relationships in a more favorite view.

Sunday, March 10, 2013

Relationship Advice - Should You Ask Family and Friends For Advice on Your Relationship Issues?

When you are in an intimate relationship, sometimes it can be hard to keep all the personal aspects about your partner to yourself. For women especially, it sometimes is critical to have an outlet where you can discuss problems that you are having within your relationship. The problem is many people share these private matters with the wrong people. Instead of going to a counselor or therapist, they start telling their friends and family intimate details about conflicts they are having with their partner. This can be a very big problem that is best to be avoided.

When you tell your friends and family negative things about your partner, you risk causing long-term problems in the relationship. Let's say you and your partner have a big fight about money. You decide to tell your mother about the fight because you want to vent. Not only do you tell her about the money fight, but you start giving her a laundry list of criticisms about your relationship. You tell her some of the nasty things that your partner has said to you in anger. Of course, you don't share all of the things you have said back.

A few days later, you and your partner have made up and are like two love birds again. Meanwhile, your mother will never again feel the same about your partner because you have shared these intimate details with her. You see, your friends and family don't get to "make up" with your partner. They go on with anger and frustration in their minds and hearts. Even though you may be enjoying the relationship again, they will never feel quite the same. This is why it's not a great idea to share these private details outside of your relationship unless it is within the confines of a therapy situation.

One other thing you need to think about before you ask for relationship advice is who are you asking? In other words, if you had a serious financial problem would you ask a broke, homeless person for advice? The answer is probably no. If you are asking for relationship advice from people who have not had great success in their own relationships, you are asking for trouble again. This is why speaking with a pastor or counselor is often a better bet because you get to keep your information private and get advice from someone who has experience in that particular area.

Saturday, March 9, 2013

How to Get Your Ex Back When A Relationship With Someone New Is Not An Option

IE 7 ]> EzineArticles Submission - Submit Your Best Quality Original Articles For Massive Exposure, Ezine Publishers Get 25 Free Article Reprints

Meet Single Women - How You Can Look For More Of Them

If you're on the lookout for places or sources to meet single women, that means you're ready to go out on a date and get hooked up with a girl that you can share your life with. However, especially if you're a shy guy, you might have limited resources or places to go to.

Let me tell you upfront, that is not true. It's only true for now because you're a shy guy and you don't have many places in mind. However, if you'll just open yourself up to suggestions, you can learn about more places where you can meet single women.

Before I go on, let me just give you a heads up.

I'm not going to tell you to go to the bars, discos or clubs in town. Sure you will be able to meet single women there, and there will be good girls that you can meet. However, what's troubling is that at such scenes, you will find it really difficult to tell the good girls from the bad.

And what about your work place? Again, while there will be singles, I don't recommend you dating them. Because if things don't work out between you and the other party, the workplace will make it a very awkward place for you two after that.

So with two of the above possibilities taken out, where are you left with?

Source 1 - Asking Your Loved Ones

You might think it's really embarrassing to ask your loved ones for help to meet single women, and that might be true in some cultures.

However, you might also be pleased to know that actually, friends and loved ones are the best people to help you, because they know you best, and know who will suit you the most.

It's also true that not all your friends or loved ones will know who suits you best, so your best bet will be to find someone who knows you well, and ask for his/her help.

This is in my opinion, the best way for you to find a potential mate as your friends and loved ones will more likely find you a match than a mismatch.

Source 2 - Hobby Groups

Everyone has a hobby, so I'm sure you have one too. And the good news is, most hobby groups do meet up at community clubs or organizations, and those are great place where the singles hang out.

Even though you can't be sure if you will meet someone right, at least the one thing you will both have in common is that same hobby.

And in relationships, it'll help greatly if you two have passion for the same hobby as it helps you two to bond together.

So if you've yet to join any groups around your hobby, find one and start hanging out with them. You'll very likely meet single women there that can be potential partners.

Source 3 - Religious Groups

Again, like the second source, religious groups like churches are a great place to meet single women because of a common belief. However, unlike hobby groups, religious groups are a little tricky as people might think you're there for the wrong reasons. So use this source wisely.

My advice would be that you go to churches or places of worship first for worship, then to meet single women. Because only when you get your priorities correct will you be able to date the women there.

See what I mean? I've just expanded your horizon by showing you more possible places and sources to meet single women. And if you keep your eyes peeled, you might find more likely places and sources on your own.

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Don't Call It Off: Save Your Relationship Now

IE 7 ]> EzineArticles Submission - Submit Your Best Quality Original Articles For Massive Exposure, Ezine Publishers Get 25 Free Article Reprints

Goodbye James

One of my old school friends recently remarked, "The Grim Reaper has visited our road with increasing frequency in the past year!" Yes, it is one of the more unpleasant aspects of living in a road where all of the homes were built in the early 1960's. Many of the original residents are now octogenarians. I find them very interesting people with the time to talk to you and share life experience and their many years of wisdom, but it is sad to observe them 'moving on' one by one.

Having previously lived on a new housing estate filled with young families and couples, I now enjoy living with my family in road where the properties are more individual and residents are a very mixed age group. Some of them purchased the properties as new homes around 50 years ago. I realised that the houses were pretty much the same age as me, although I like to think I have worn a little better so far. The houses will no doubt have the last laugh as they watch me carried off prostrate one day in a large glass estate car!

Now I want to tell you about James. I recently attended the funeral of this lovely 88 year old man whom I had known for around 25 years. A kind, considerate, unassuming person, James always greeted you with a huge smile and a gracious word. To most people he was just another little old man. Our western culture is not good at celebrating old age or giving much credibility to the wisdom that comes only with many years of life experience.

We constantly celebrate 'new' because 'old' is considered obsolete. But one thing that will never become obsolete is kindness. James was a very kind man. You often hear it said, "He never had a bad word to say about anyone", but how often is that true? In our critical world most of us like to have a bit of a gripe. But James was always so positive about people. He was also interested in everything. Whereas many more elderly people give up on rapidly advancing technology, James had a PC, a laptop, an iphone and a flat screen TV, and he knew how to use the lot!

But even more amazing was when Maggie, one of his carers, asked about his past. They were just making conversation really. James increasingly needed care in his last few months on earth and carers were eventually coming in three times a day. Maggie asked him,

"Have you lived here long James?"

He thought for a minute to add up the years and replied, "Forty one years."

"Really? And where did you live before?"

Now Maggie was expecting a reply like 'just up the road' or at most somewhere in Britain but not too far away.

"Thailand", he replied.

Now that wasn't what she was expecting. So Maggie began to probe. What was his job? In his last job was working with the BBC in London for a few years, but he had always worked in radio and associated electronic engineering. So she asked him how long he had been in Thailand and where he was before that. It turned out that James had lived and worked in Malaysia, The Philippines and other places in Asia. He had brought up his family abroad and was very well travelled having visited China, Africa, Iceland and most of Europe. He had visited a long list of countries and could speak a number of languages. Maggie was used to visiting elderly people from a generation where most people travelled very little. James was something different indeed! As they talked, she discovered a wealth of information. This man had led such an interesting life.

To most of his neighbours who went about their daily chores, he was just James. While they went to work every day and occasionally went to Majorca for a holiday, they assumed that James rarely went further than Tescos. They had seen him care for his wife in her infirmity, and they had witnessed his friendly smile, but little did they know the rich history and incredibly interesting life of their neighbour.

We often see funeral cars going by. Occasionally we get annoyed as we are held up by a funeral procession crawling in front of us making us late for an appointment. But how often do we think of the person who has died? How often do we consider the true value of life? How much do we consider the value of the contribution they left here or the pain and grief left for the family when they depart? I always say a little prayer as a hearse goes by nowadays. I have come to realise that life will come to an end for us all, and it is not the amount of money we make of how high up the ladder we climb that really matters. The problem is that in order to climb the ladder you often have to tread on someone else to get by them! No, what really matters is what we do with this little life while we have the chance. Listening to the tributes from so many family members and friends at James's funeral it was clear that he was never an ambitious man, but he was always a caring one. He was never the kind to tread on others to reach a higher level. James was kind, considerate and loving.

He used his intelligence and lovely character to bring some light into the lives of the people around him. He had been all over the place and had done an amazing, incredibly interesting job, but he never boasted of it. Few of the neighbours knew until he died. Attending that funeral made me more determined to live a worthwhile life. The rat race is for rats, not for thoughtful, caring people like you and me! Lets choose to live a decent way so that people will not be saying as they did at Scrooge's funeral, "I thought he would never go!" but rather, "We will miss him, he (or she) was so kind." That's the kind of legacy I want to leave, and I guess you do too. Goodbye James, you will be sadly missed.

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

3 Reasons Why You're Still Single - Reason No 1: You Believe Love Will Just Happen

You're happy with the direction your career is going, and that's great! You're in good shape, excellent health, and have a wonderful circle of friends: awesome! Do you still find yourself wondering why you haven't caught the train that will bring true love into your life?

Chances are you're among those strong, successful women who are being tripped up by a few limiting beliefs that are keeping them single. We suspect, then, that you might be one of of us in the Dating with Dignity community who's guilty of "doing your life" and then waiting - or even hoping - for someone to waltz into your life. Have you ever thought to yourself, "Love will just happen" or "This will work itself out"? Or, "If I just keep putting myself out there, then Mr. Right will bump into me at Starbucks"?

As much as that is a nice thought, you're probably going to be rudely awakened when you wait, and wait, and wait, AND wait. After all, if 2013 was going to be your year and NOTHING has changed since December 2012, then perhaps it's time to take a second look at your "wait and see" approach.

But thinking that if you just keep on doing your version of Groundhog Day mixed in with a few girls' nights out and catching up on work during the weekends to feel better going into the next week without examining what's not working and building new skills in the relationship department? No, that makes it likely that you won't get closer to your goal of a serious long-term relationship anytime soon.

So how can you get rid of this #1 thought that keeps smart, successful women "chronically single" and start making moves to improve your love life?

1. Give yourself a loving and RAW reality check. Think about how your beliefs have served you in your recent past. Has love "just happened?" (We're guessing no.) Has your relationship status changed to reflect new love in your life, or has the box marked "single" been checked for awhile? Remind yourself that if something hasn't worked in the past, it probably won't work in the future.

2. Join a dating site or a group where you can expand your social circle. The simple act of creating a profile online, even if you don't end up actively pursuing online dating, puts the energy into the universe that you are AVAILABLE.

Not ready to get online? Find a club or class that meets regularly and start to notice if your dating "cab light" is even on. Who are you attracting? Are you feeling uncomfortable? Is it hard to motivate yourself to go each week, or are you excited about putting action into your intention to find love? Do you judge yourself? Are you judging and evaluating others?

Whatever comes up for you - negative or positive - the good news is that you've arrived at a starting point. Merely isolating or staying stuck in a social rut doesn't allow you to truly see what's working and what's not. And if you do meet someone fabulous, then we can confidently say that it just took a little action to get your love life into gear. If not, then you now have some deeper work to do that can, once resolved, open up your heart to dating in a brand new way.

3. Work on your negotiables and non-negotiables to figure out if you need to adjust anything to attract the right person into your life. Are you too picky? Are you afraid that you have to settle and have given up on having expectations? Or do you meet someone and jump into seeing him as who you want him to be rather than recognizing that you may not know the "real" deal until three months into the relationship? We suggest you sign up with one of our dating coaches if you need that little extra nudge.

4. Do self-analysis on the parts of your life that you need to improve. Start with yourself. If it's dieting that you need to work on, talk to a nutritionist or sign up for a new fitness class; get friends to join you! The bottom line is that we know that in order to attract an amazing man and become perpetually irresistible, you have to release the patterns, beliefs, thoughts and actions that keep you stuck in a romantic rut.

Next, it's time to fall in love with you and design a robust life you absolutely love (single or not); only then can you start to date with dignity. Following this secret formula will ensure you get out of "waiting for love to find me" mode and into action!

5. Get a partner to join you. If you have another single friend, it will be easier to get yourself out there. Go to the speed dating event you've seen flyers for. If you need to tell yourself it's for "research purposes" or even to make new friends, go ahead!

Making sure you rid yourself of the women in your life who are consistently Debbie Downers is an important part of dating with dignity. Sometimes even your best of friends can unconsciously sabotage your efforts to change it up because they're afraid you will change without them. Hold yourselves accountable to make sure that another month, quarter and year doesn't accidentally slip by.

Just Get. Yourself. Out. There. Stop waiting for love to just show up. Make it come to you.

Monday, March 4, 2013

What Characteristics Make Up the Best Mature Women for Dating?

IE 7 ]> EzineArticles Submission - Submit Your Best Quality Original Articles For Massive Exposure, Ezine Publishers Get 25 Free Article Reprints