To earn also means to make, get, deserve, win, merit, secure, be worthy of, something. Respect also means admiration, high opinion, esteem, value, defer to, recognize, appreciate, have a high regard for, accept, etc. These two key words in this topic by their meaning are of important consideration in relationships if they are to be joyful for those engaged in them.
Mutual respect is one of the elements in the foundation for joyful relationships. It is important, therefore, that all those getting involved in the relationship between the sexes find a way to establish it before making further progress in that relationship. As the foundation of every structure is basic to its successful establishment, so is the earning of respect during the foundational stage of dating is basic to the obtaining of a joyful relationship.
The need to earn the respect of a dating partner cannot be over-emphasized. This has become critical because many relationship problems are caused by lack of mutual respect by those involved during the dating period. One of the things we must get right from the beginning for it to work out well in the relationship between men and women is mutual respect. The good and bad news is that we must earn it. It is bestowed upon a person only when he or she deserves it. Respect of a dating partner which leads to mutual respect in a marriage relationship is earned by the conduct of the dating partners during this stage of the relationship.
Here are some of the ways you can earn the respect of your dating partner:
? Independence - Independence also means self-rule, self-reliance, self-determination, and self-sufficiency. It is one of the elements of the foundation for joyful relationships. A man or a woman entering into a relationship should possess this quality, especially as it relates to how much other people decide for you what you have to do. Dating relationship is not marriage. Even in a marriage relationship, both parties need some degree of independence to keep their sanity and as a bulwark against sudden changes and the demise of a partner or spouse. It is, however, sad to note that many people in a relationship act as if it is the beginning and the end of their lives. Most people detest any form of clinginess. You should not surrender your life to a partner, not even a spouse. Having your own life and finding the points where you complement each other is what is better than losing yourself in a relationship. Fusion is not possible. Being complementary is. Self-reliance earns respect. If a partner has to pay your bills, you are a kept man or woman.
? Self-confidence - Self-confidence also means assurance and poise. Assurance means self-reliance reliance, belief in yourself. Poise also means dignity, composure, self-control, carriage, bearing and deportment. The opposites of self-confidence are timidity and insecurity. People are wont to take advantage of insecure or timid people. They, however, respect those who act with dignity, sure steps, poise and self-control.
? Knowledge - Knowledge, they say, is power. To earn respect in a dating relationship, you must know about dating. Spend time and research this topic. Do not rely on one source of knowledge for this critical stage of this transforming aspect of your life. Here you are called to know and understand the meaning and purpose of dating and to act from the knowledge. While knowledge is power, action has been established as the key to power. For example, if you know that dating is not marriage and you act from this knowledge, you would not start practicing the activities of married couples such as kissing, intimate hugging, sexual intercourse or moving into the home of your partner. Knowledgeable people are usually respected. You would earn more respect if you were known to act wisely.
? Clarity of purpose - Dating has two clear-cut purposes - socialization and marriage. To earn the respect of your dating partner, you need to be clear of these and keep to activities that would achieve your intended purpose.
? Avoid sexual intimacies - Many people including relationship experts have taught that it is okay to delay sexual intercourse during dating and courtship. This is quite misleading. It needs be boldly stated here that sexual intimacies are only appropriate in a married state. You harm your relationship at any point outside legal and lawful marriage you introduce sexual intimacies. You immediately lose respect the moment sexual intimacies get in the way of the blossoming relationship. May be ladies need to know this; each time a man has sexual intercourse outside marriage, he is torn apart by doubt as to the worthiness of the act. He feels the woman gave in because she wants something material from him or is trying to force his hands. This is regardless of the fact that he may have cried and begged for it for one month before you caved in. It would be great to have men controvert this assertion. On the part of the women, they also begin to wonder: is this all there is to it. It does not matter how great you felt that the sexual intercourse turned out to be. You would never know what you get from sexual intercourse. It only improves with time. Marriage is the only place that kind of experiment is worthwhile.
? Be ready to quit the relationship any time - One of the major problems of the dating relationship is the fact that people do not know when to quit. People hang onto relationships that hurt them and are obviously making no progress. If you hang onto a relationship that you should have quit, there would be no respect for you in it. If you quit a dating relationship early, you earn respect. Quitting in good time may provide opportunity for future reconnection with increased respec
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