Before we jump into men and relationships, I want to tell you that studies have shown that if you do something regularly for a minimum of twenty one days straight, you'll establish a habit that will be quite difficult to break.
This goes for anything, from beginning a new exercise regimen to starting a new diet, to quitting smoking.
Any sort of activity you want to do, habit you want to break or pick up. All of these things are set into stone after twenty one days of consistent behavior and action.
With all of that said, I have something interesting for you.
Inner Game Vs Outer Game
You've probably heard me say before that when it comes to men and relationships, the inner game is much more important than your outer game.
In fact, I'll go one step further and tell you that women are not attracted to guys that have no inner game.
There are guys who run around constantly. They'll be smooth talkers, they'll be cocky, they'll act like they own the world, but no woman is going to take them seriously because it's all a front and those guys don't have much of a personality.
Guys like that tend to use outer game to conceal the fact that they don't have a lot going on inside.
Women will often be turned off by a guy running "big game" too. It's because those men are often too aggressive and come off as jerks.
As you know, it doesn't hurt to be a little cocky, but a guy pushing his outer game will often go too far with that.
Why?
Because his actions are not based in natural confidence so he's essentially a fake and comes off all wrong.
Remember what I've told you before, that women are very perceptive and won't appreciate it when they sense a guy is faking it.
I mean, think about it for a moment.
Do you think a guy that's perfectly happy with himself sits there at his desk learning one liners and stupid jokes to break the ice?
Of course not. The reason why he doesn't do it is that he's able to relax and think on his feet.
He's able to be himself because he understands men and relationships. He knows his own value and that he has what it takes in order to draw a woman in.
He doesn't sit there panicking whenever he sees a girl he wants to talk to. He thinks that no matter what happens, he's still going to be himself and the world will keep turning and...
...he goes for her.
He just talks to her not worrying that he's going to lose her.
He knows that there are tons and tons of women around he could talk to, so even if this particular one doesn't work out, he'll just move on.
He knows that if it doesn't go well, for whatever reason, that it's no big deal. He'll get the next one and won't let it shake his confidence. He's got that inner spark that lets him shake off nerves and not have to hide behind stupid games and cheesy pickup lines in order to talk to women.
Do you really want her?
The type of girl you want probably isn't going to be charmed by stupid one-liners anyway. That's what all men and relationships coaches tell you.
You should want a higher quality of girl who is above the rest and is able to see the difference between cheap outer game and a quality guy.
And honestly, should you have to work that hard just to land a girl? No.
Having to research stupid stuff and waste a lot of energy perfecting your outer game is pointless.
You can just rely on your own inner game and get what you want without all of that extra fuss.
Let's get blunt for a moment.
If you understand that inner game is important, if you really know how men and relationships work, and far more important than outer game, then what you need to do is forget the openers, one liners, sayings and all the other crap and focus exclusively on who you are.
On the other hand, what do you think a guy who doesn't really believe in himself will do?
He'll probably take a day to gather the courage to go meet some women, when he finally approaches his first target, he'll not know what to say, or he'll come off as fake and weird. It's a sure bet that he'll get rejected and...
...go home, heartbroken.
After that happens a number of times, unless someone motivates him to go do it again, he'll most likely never leave his house to meet a girl.
And even if he manages to pick himself back up and get out there again, he'll be using the same techniques he did before.
And he'll fail again. So much for all the men and relationships advice he got, right?
There is absolutely no way to succeed when you're going about pickup that way, trust me. It's just a sad story every single time so...
...work on who you are and you'll do much better with women. That's a promise.
How do you get that vibe around you?
Well, there are many ways to go about getting it, but the one thing I'd recommend for anyone struggling with their self esteem is...
...travel.
It is amazing what travel does for you.
You get to meet people that do things totally differently than you do. You learn things about the world that you thought were impossible. You meet people with viewpoints completely different to your own.
It opens up doors to new foods, new languages, new cultures, and new landscapes. The world looks very different to you once you've traveled.
The best part is, now you have a great selection of memories and stories that you can talk about.
You're not just talking about some quality you think will come off well, and therefore have no spark while talking about.
Another great thing to do is...
...pick up hobbies. This isn't something they tell you when they talk about men and relationships, but it's extremely important.
This can be just another facet of your personality and the things you do that you can talk about.
People are going to ask you what you do in your spare time and answering that you watch TV or surf the internet is boring and uninspiring.
That lack of experience and drive is a huge turn off. So, pick some new things to try that you think sound interesting and give them a go. You'll see that they'll be extremely effective with women. It won't even matter what it is.
Reading is great with women too.
Even if you only pick up a newspaper, and I'm talking about more than the comics or the sport's section, you will be able to expand your horizons.
You learn things about the world around you and can talk easily and knowledgeably about them. Girls will be impressed by a man who knows what is going on.
Hang out with your friends more, try new things with them. Any experience you gain that is good and can be talked about is just more of a bonus when it comes to conversations with women and making connections.
This will give you not only confidence, but will also provide you practical knowledge and a certain duality about you that will be very interesting to everyone around you, no matter who it is.
This is it for today. You got some great advice on men and relationships, so go have some fun!
Need to pracite what you'd just learned? Find your match on a free dating site.
This article is brought to you by Relationships Advice Blog.
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