Inner Game Over Outer Game: Build Yours Today

Inner game is how you feel about yourself, but most importantly your self-talk. Unfortunately, most people look to improve their outer game first. Outer game being how you present/ carry yourself, and above all else, how you talk to girls. One of the most searched phrases on Google is "how to talk to girls." Let me make myself absolutely clear: if you're not a natural i.e. Don juan, casanova, etc. or 1% of the male population, work on your inner game first rather than your outer game.

What person will love you, if you don't love yourself? Another interesting statistic, "90% of people that pick up dating materials (the game, double your dating, etc.) fail at getting good with women." Why? Because those books and most of the other ones focus on outer game. They use techniques, peacock methods, formulaic approaches, and various ways to "open sets" rather than working on the real problems within. Rather than building the confidence up in the person.

My solutions for the best Inner Game (More to follow in other posts but the main one's here. You can just scroll down and read each number rather than reading each and every summary):

1) Identify any and all weaknesses that you have

Take some time to think and write down on a piece of paper what you're weaknesses are. For example, maybe you don't like talking to people. Or maybe you feel like you're weight is an issue. Right them all down. Get them off your chest. We'll call this List 1.

2) Summarize your weakness into one word and list all of them (List 2)

On this list write down 5-10 ways to improve or possible solutions for this weakness. Now save List 2 and burn List 1. That's right, destroy it. Rip it up. Shred it. Stomp it. Do all the above, spit on it for all I care. These weaknesses are now gone and only solutions remain.

3) Take sometime and close your eyes

Imagine in your head what this new person looks like without said weaknesses and see the new you! See yourself doing things that you couldn't have done before. Let this be the moment that you have good luck and only good things happen from here.

4) Embrace Your Solutions

Now that you have 5-10 solutions per weakness, start working on them. This is the main reason why most people's issues go unsolved. They run from their problems and even potential solutions for those problems-hit them head-on.

5) Suck up your pride and Seek Help

We all know one person that is good at what we fail at. Hopefully a solution to one of your weaknesses is "get advice from Joe, Tom, or Susan" etc. You might be terrible at soccer; ask a friend for some help and tips. You might be a real critical, negative person; seek out the most happy go lucky person you know. You might be a terrible money manager; seek me out! If you have no one to go to, email me or Oprah..we'll tandem solve your problem if possible.

These 5 solutions are the tip of the sword. I can't emphasize enough to embrace your issues, weaknesses, and problems. Face them with some back bone and gall. Don't rationalize anything in life anymore. I'll continue with more techniques for solid Inner Game later.

This article is brought to you by Relationships Advice Blog.

Can He Really Make You Happy?

You know why happiness is called an inside "job"... 'cause it really takes some doin' to keep ourselves happy doesn't it? And it takes some serious effort if you're trying to keep/make someone else happy. In fact, it is truly counterproductive to try to keep/make a man happy, or rely on him to make you happy.

In the long run, you'll both end up disappointed and resenting the other because you relied on each other for your happiness, instead of looking within. Neither of you can stand on your head in enough ways to keep each other feeling good all the time. It is a futile attempt, and definitely detrimental to your health and sex life in the long run.

Dr. Joseph Murphy in his book "The Power of Your Subconscious Mind" said "A woman is not dependent on her husband (insert your own title if you prefer, i.e. boyfriend, partner, date) for health, peace, joy, inspiration, guidance, love, wealth, security, happiness, or anything in the world. Her security and peace of mind come from her knowledge of the powers within her & from the constant use of the laws of her own mind in a constructive fashion."

Bottom line... No one can make you happy. It is your work and your work alone. Happiness is a state of mind, and you have the freedom to choose happiness. Happiness is your natural state of being. When you realize that no one other than yourself is responsible for how you feel you will find true happiness. If you believe that others are responsible for your happiness, you are in self-bondage, because you cannot control how others feel or how they behave. You have complete control over how you feel, and if you are to remain or return to the happy being you are naturally, you must tend to the alignment between you & You (your inner being/Source).

When you really care about someone it is no small undertaking to not hold them responsible for how you feel, but you just have to let them off the hook. You are the attractor of your experience. No one can keep you amused & happy day in and day out and you should not require their constant approval or attention to be happy with yourself. Allow them to be as they "be," while you tend to your own vibration, and watch your power of influence in your relationship. You will find your relationship delicious & satisfying. And if you have tended to your vibration on a regular basis, and he is not in harmony with your vibration he will naturally gravitate out of your experience and a new more satisfying relationship will move into your experience.

Two people who come together knowing that they are responsible for their own happiness, and seeking alignment with themselves first, is the making of a co-creative relationship that will satisfy you both to no end.

This article is brought to you by Dating Advice Blog.