Are You SETTLING For Less In A Romantic Relationship?

Are you in a romantic relationship in which you are doing all or most of the work to keep the relationship alive? Does his demeaning behavior toward you have you thinking that you are undesirable and you should be grateful that he is with you? Does he put down your dreams or your opinions?

Are you working your fanny off to bring home the money to support the household, but he can't seem to get or keep a job? Do you have children with this man or from a previous relationship and even though you live together, he barely lifts a finger to help?

Is he irritable, demanding, overbearing, controlling, irrational or jealous? Are you afraid to glance out the car window when you are driving somewhere together because if a man happens to be standing there, you will be accused of looking at him too long? Does your partner seem to think nothing of staring at other women or flirting with a waitress when you are around? Are "girls' night out" excursions simply out of the question because there is no way he would allow you to go, but it's okay if he meets his friends at a bar?

Sadly, there are many more examples I could give of the ways relationships can be dysfunctional. Here is the raw, unveiled truth:

Even if you are experiencing only ONE of the scenarios above, you are SETTLING!

It doesn't matter who you are, where you grew up, what you have done, how ashamed you are of yourself or how bad of a person you think you are. If you want to be in a romantic relationship, you DESERVE to be in one with someone who treats you with love, kindness and respect. Yes, I said YOU DESERVE IT!

Somewhere in your past, you received a message that you are somehow less than most other people. You constantly compare yourself to others and you fall short of what you think you should be. The message that you are flawed in some way, is simply a LIE that someone told you either verbally or by their actions. You believed it because you trusted that person and you thought they only wanted the best for you. You had no way of knowing that someone told them that LIE too when they were little and they believed it for the same reason you believed the LIE when it was told to you.

Now, you have a choice. Either go on with your life believing the LIE and SETTLING for an unfulfilling, stressful, unhappy life. One side note, if you continue to live your life as if the LIE is truth, you will pass the LIE on to your children which sets them up to go through their lives feeling that they are worthless and don't deserve to be treated well. OR, you can STOP SETTLING right now... TODAY!

You can break the cycle of SETTLING for less for yourself and future generations. The first step is to stop LYING to yourself about the relationship and about him. Friends and family members have been trying to tell you that the relationship is not good for you or that they are concerned for your safety or that you deserve better. But, you've been ignoring their advice, maybe even getting angry with them and telling them they are wrong or avoiding them altogether. Yet somewhere, deep inside, there is a small persistent voice telling you that they are right... the relationship is toxic.

Once you are able to admit the truth to yourself, the next step is to seek support from loving, emotionally stable and supportive family members and friends who can help and encourage you. Your first thought may be that you are embarrassed about the situation and you don't want to admit the truth to others. This is why I emphasize the person or persons you go to must be emotionally healthy and supportive of you. If anyone you approach for support criticizes or makes you feel ashamed in anyway, walk away from them as fast as you can and do not discuss your situation any further with that person.

It is critical that you only share your situation with people who will not judge you, but will give you love, compassion and support while you sort through what to you want to do next.

If you don't have friends you trust or family members who are supportive of you, seek out free support groups like Al-Anon (alcohol does not have to be a factor for Al-Anon to be helpful) or find a CoDA meeting to attend. If you have the financial means, seek help from a coach or counselor. If money is an issue, contact a local women's shelter or find out if your community has a public health clinic where you can get advice or counseling at no charge or on a sliding scale.

The Relationship Road ahead of you is wide open. Your life can be whatever you want it to be; but first, you have to START BELIEVING you are WORTHY of a happy, healthy relationship. When that happens, you will no longer SETTLE for less than the best in your relationships.

The following affirmation may help you begin the journey to self-love and acceptance. Repeat it to yourself daily or whenever you are experiencing doubt or fear. Whenever possible, say it to yourself while looking at yourself in a mirror.

I am a unique and valuable woman. I am enough and I am loved.

This article is brought to you by FREE DATING SITES.

Who Are You? And Why You Should Google Your Date

"You're not the person I thought you were", "I can't believe you think that!" or "I don't care if it was Spring break, it's all over the internet!"

Do any of these sound familiar? Well, hopefully not. And there are ways to keep them from ever coming up, here's how.

Research

Before investing in the stock market, would you not first review the company's history? Before buying that hot new ride, would you not first read all of the reviews? The same applies with dating. Treat every new relationship as an investment.

Every new relationship is a personal investment in time, finances, emotions and also reflects a judgment of your character. All of these elements should be reviewed for red flags saving you much unwanted headache down the road. It's much easier to pass in the beginning than to try to get out of a bad deal later and here are some tools to help with that decision:

Google yourself, go ahead. Ain't no shame in it.

Google is a great way to get background info. Not only will you see all of your potential dates activities but you will also be able to develop a sense of character and associations. Even if you do not belong to all of the networks that your date belongs to, most of the time the related post heading will show up in the Google search, giving you some type of heads up.

Look Ma' I'm on TV.

Have some embarrassing Spring Break videos floating around on YouTube? This is another perfect tool to see first hand the type of person you're trying to hook up with. If you find a video posted that makes you cringe, facepalm or that you would be embarrassed to show you parents, this may be bit of a stumbling block. At the time, the content in the video may have seemed funny or cool, but it's out in cyberspace forever and will eventually come up needing explaining to friends and family.

Tweet Tweet, a little birdie told me.

140 characters can say a lot about a person. Twitter is an extremely popular venting post. Tweeting reveals a persons mood, style and character. Do they post ever insignificant event through out their day, begging for attention? Are their tweets filled with positive and uplifting content or are they focused on depressive thoughts. With Twitter it's not so much important as to who they are friends with or who's following them due to the nature of the Twitter following process but more what they tweet about.

The Good Book

Ah, and here we have Facebook. "Destroying relationships since 2004". If you are having any type of relationship problems or insecurities, this clever network will magnify them 2000%. Just type in the person's name and you will suck up more dirt than a Hoover vacuum. You will be able to build a character profile with ease in no time seeing what the person likes, dislike and who they are friends with, giving you more information to decide if you want a relationship with this person.

Analyze the results

You now have all of this information bookmarked in your browser for review. What do you do now? Well, it's easier than you think.

First off, you do a "gut check", review all of the information and listen to your gut. If at any time you get than uneasy feeling and here the little voice in your head saying "WARNING WARNING", that may be grounds to pass on the deal and move on.

Second, do they have any questionable friendships or associations that should be discussed in the beginning that may lead to trouble down the road?

Third, are their likes and dislikes similar to yours? Do you see they spend all of their weekends hiking in the woods when that's the last place you would ever want to be?

And fourth, family and friends. When you enter into a relationship, not only is that person becoming your life but so is all of their friends, family and emotional baggage. Can you handle the overbearing parents, the attention grabbing best friend or even the pet dog that already assumed the alpha male position of the household?

What ever you final decision, be confident that you gave it some though and follow it with a positive heart. Relationships are not black and white, there is no right or wrong way, but only a way that works for you. There are people who got married after the first date and there are others who divorced after 25 years of marriage. You just never know how things will go or how people change. As long as you remain honest and open with your partner while giving it your best, you'll be heading in the right direct. Best of luck!

7 Essential Tips on How To Win Over a Guy

Breaking up with your boyfriend can have emotional and physical effects on you. This is especially true if you were madly in love with him and he literally meant the world to you. Even with the break up, you may still have emotional feelings towards him and would do anything possible to get him back. Well, this is not rocket science neither does it take some form of magic to get him back. If you badly want him back, then these seven tips may come in handy for you if well executed.

Value yourself.
Never fall into the temptation of feeling miserable after the break up. This is the time you need to value yourself more than ever before and understand that you have your pride to defend. If you really want to win his attention once again, then the idea is to show him how special and principled you are. Do not go about chasing after him and asking for one more chance. Doing this will even push him further away.

Do not get jealous.
Nobody like someone who tracks them day and night and closely monitor what they do. The simple fact that you are not together anymore does not mean that you should act like he owns you an explanation. In order to get him back, stop being too inquisitive or act in a manner that will show that you are jealous. Give him a breathing space and let him choose to have you back. Do not exert pressure on him or things will only get worse.

Do not meddle in his business.
It is none of your business to meddle in his life, or it will only hurt your feelings and your chances of reuniting. Do not ask his friends or family members how he is fairing. Worst still, do not attempt to call him or pass by his workplace. As a woman, you need to get true to your gender by preserving your feminine identity.

Learn to be patient.
Although it may come as a surprise to learn that you are single again, you need to be patient as relationships do not crumble overnight. Regaining his attention will not happen instantly, so simply back off.

Be mysterious.
Men are enchanted by women who are mysterious in nature. Part of the strategy, therefore, involves finding a new you and becoming a whole new and better person he would love to uncover. Keep parts of yourself obscure or hidden from him to keep him guessing what it is that he didn't know about you.

Don't lose control of your self.
Any break up elicits negative emotions to run high. If you display anger, shame and contempt, you probably will be reminding him of why exactly he left you. On the contrary, try and be jovial, charming and display sweetness that will draw his attention once more.

Maintain an attractive look.
A man loves to hang around a woman who is a magnet of attraction. The simple rule is to remember your first meeting and how you looked. Do the same couple of times and you will literally knock him out.

With a little imagination, these tips are effective in winning over a guy. However, they need to be carefully executed to avoid being spiteful or appear as if you are desperately seeking his attention. Keep things moving step by step and it will surely work for you.

This article is brought to you by PERSONALS.

How To Create A Striking Profile On Online Dating Sites

Dating has given a completely different touch to romantic relationships in the modern world. With the advent of social media sites and online networking, it has become much easier for people to contact each other and find their potential matches on the Internet. Nowadays, there are plenty of dating websites that let you register and browse through different profiles. People can easily befriend anyone belonging to a different religion, country or age group on these sites. If you are looking forward to an online relationship, creating an appealing profile is your first step towards success.

There is no guarantee that an anonymous person is going to approve your friend request on a random site. However, having an interesting profile will definitely increase your chances of impressing a stranger. Most people consider your online profile to be a summary of your real-life personality. Therefore, users must write a short, decent, and genuine description in the "about me" section.

Below are a few guidelines for creating an impressive profile on online dating sites.

1) First of all, you must prepare a brief character sketch depicting your qualities, likes and dislikes. The abstract should not sound contrived or cocky. It should stand out, but also effectively blend with the crowd. The average word count should range from 250 to 300 words. Don't write long stories or it will bore the visitors.

2) Do not forget to include a few lines about the kind of friend you are looking for. If you are interested in dating online, you must write down the kind of relationship you want to have in the future. Tell something about yourself which makes you stand out from the crowd. Wrap it up in not more than 100 words and make it sound sweet and simple.

3) A decent profile is comprised of genuine details including 2-3 lines on the user as well as 3 important traits that you are looking for in your partners. Don't attach a long list of adjectives in the description. It will make you appear boastful or narcissistic. Whether you are looking for casual encounters, random dating, one night stands or long-term relationships, make it a point to mention that on your online dating profile.

4) The best online dating sites let you attach a tag line at the beginning of your profile. Don't begin your tag line with common greetings like "Hi" or "Hello." It should be unique and creative.

5) You must remember that dating sites are accessed by anonymous people belonging to different nationalities, sects, cultures, and religions. Therefore think twice about every word that you are going to write. Your profile summary should not discourage your readers. Don't ramble about religious or political issues, as it may create unnecessary misunderstandings.

6) It is good to mention details regarding your job or career in the professional section of your profile; however, do not disclose confidential details, or you may face serious problems in the long run. Same goes for your family history and personal relationships. An online dating site is accessed by anonymous users who can be kidnappers, pedophiles, rapists, addicts, or obsessed lovers. Too many details will make you vulnerable to their threats.

7) Put in extra effort in framing the first and last sentences of your profile. You should sound confident, approachable, and optimistic in your description. The first impression created by you will always have the greatest effect on a person.

8) Once you are done writing, go through your profile description and check whether it reads as friendly and straightforward.

Now that you are familiar with the tips and tricks of creating a profile, you can easily handle dating. So, go ahead, search for a hot dating site and create a strong online presence to attract the maximum number of people.

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DIY Birthday Cards: A Romantic Collage Birthday Card for Your Boyfriend

One way to show your love and appreciation to your boyfriend is by giving him a homemade card lovingly crafted by yourself. This is the most romantic gift your boyfriend might receive on his special day. However, the thought of creating a homemade card may be overwhelming, especially if you do not have any idea where and how to start.

You may want to consider making a collage of his favorite things or a collage of his favorite photos with you. You may also want to try creating a photo mosaic of your photo together using free photo mosaic software and have this as the front panel of the card. Or you may simply make a few crafts from your available materials.

In this article, I would like to share with you about how to make a simple yet beautiful collage birthday card that can become a truly romantic gift that your boyfriend can receive.

Instructions in making a collage birthday card for your boyfriend:

1. Look for photos of your boyfriend's favorite things as well as the things that reflect his personality. What are his hobbies? What is his nature of his work? Does he like travelling? Is he into photography? Compile the picture you see, whether over the internet or through the magazines or even newspapers. You may also cut some words or phrases that describe him.

2. Look for a stock paper or cardboard you can use for your homemade card. It can be an old cardboard or scraps of paper, it does not matter. You may also choose to combine the cardboard and paper scraps you found and use it for your card.

3. From this collection, select your most favorite photos and words that best describe your boyfriend. Print out these photos or cut them out. Then draft their arrangement in the stack of paper or cardboard you have chosen.

4. When you are already satisfied with your draft arrangement, paste each one of them to your cardboard or paper. Be careful not to nudge the other photos too much so that you will not be lost with the arrangement you have already set.

5. Add some colors in the background and on the sides of your collage. You may use watercolor, crayons, pastels, or colored pens for this. Color it according to the feel you desire: rustic, sweet, nostalgic. Do not worry about not painting or coloring well.

6. You may now fold your card stack into half. You may choose to add some decors or place your message to the front of your card.

This article is brought to you by DATE.

How to Get A Guy And Keep Him Too

So you are attracted to this guy and you want him to feel the same towards you. What's more, you want the attraction to turn into attachment so you two will last long. Do not worry, you can get what you want by following these tips on how to get a guy and keep him.

How to Get a Guy - catching his attention is simple with these steps:

1. Be Confident and Independent

Men like confident women, so be comfortable with who you are. They also like independent women who can run their own lives, so be responsible with your life.

2. Catch His Attention

Greet him when you see him. Try to get to know him casually. Drop hints that you are interested.

3. Be His Friend

Treat him as a friend. This way, you will be more comfortable to get to know each other.

4. Wait

Do not force it. Let your relationship grow at its own pace. Just have fun with each other's company.

How to Keep Him - now that his eyes are only on you, it is time to heed these advices on how to get a guy and keep him:

1. Possessiveness is a Big No-No

Stop yourself from being clingy and dependent. Do not call him more often. And, never monitor his every move; otherwise, he will get tired of you and leave.

2. Be Considerate

Keep in mind that your guy has a personal life that he prefers to deal by himself. Avoid getting too involved. Give him some space.

3. Make Him Feel Loved

Tell him that you love him and mean it. Accompany it with gestures like writing a poem, cooking a meal, giving gifts and surprising him.

4. Do Not Make Him Your Outlet

It is okay to feel upset when you had a bad day but do not throw it on him. He is not responsible for that unlucky streak. Instead, calmly talk with him about your frustrations or just ask for a hug to lighten things up.

5. Make an Effort to Look Good

Just because he has decided to stick with you, it is already fine to cut some slack when grooming and prettifying yourself. Men love women who take care of themselves. So pamper yourself and always stick to your beauty regimen.

6. Make Him Jealous

Do not make yourself always available. Also, focus on other things like work and friends. Make him jealous of your friends. Make him miss you because the time you spend apart will make him realize your true value.

And these are the ways on how to get a guy and keep him. Always keep in mind to just have fun with each other's presence.

This article is brought to you by MATCH.

Christian Dating in an Online World

Dating can make you feel both excited and sick all at the same time. For someone looking for a relationship, not just a hook up, dating holds not only the hope for a bright and loving future but also the possibility of pain and heartbreak. Dating is rough. People aren't always what they seem. When you start the dating process, you are usually on your best behavior. But many people try to be someone they aren't in order to convince the person they are dating that they have found exactly who they were looking for. But that doesn't result in a happy ending. Sure, you want to be on your best behavior...put your best foot forward. But you still want to be yourself. The goal is not to dupe someone into being in a relationship with you. The goal is to find someone who loves you for who you are and accepts you...faults and all.

Many single Christians find dating difficult. It is assumed that the church is the best place to find that special someone but that isn't always the case. Many churches have grown so large that many people end up feeling invisible, just a random face in the crowd.

Unfortunately, unless they take part in small group activities, getting to know others can be hard. There doesn't seem to be as much socializing after church as there used to be. Back in the day, the church sermon was just the beginning of your Sunday morning. After church there would be a potluck and the congregation would gather to get to know each other better and make lasting friendships. Nowadays, many churches have abandoned that tradition and therefore people can attend the same church for years and never really know anyone.

The world we live in is chaotic and moves at a hectic pace. It seems more and more individuals follow the "get in and get out" philosophy when it comes to going to Church. We all want to be fed, but we also have busy lives and things to do so we don't stick around afterward. So what is one to do when they want to fellowship with other believers and meet someone special who just may end up being their soul mate? The obvious choice is to make an effort in getting involved with your Church or small group. Most churches have a singles group that gets together at least once, maybe twice, a week. You can also look into outreach. Focus on helping others and you may just find what you are looking for when you stop looking. But if you are really wanting to jump into dating feet first, try online dating.

There are many online dating websites available on the Internet today. Some are geared toward the general public and others are created specifically for Christians.

Even though some single Christians may feel self-conscious about stepping into the world of Online Dating, there is no reason. Christian Dating is alive and well on the Internet and using the web to start meeting new Christian singles in your area is a fantastic way to socialize with people who take their faith as seriously as you do. Where else can you go to meet other Christians? If Church isn't filling that specific desire and obviously, going to bars and clubs to meet other Christian singles is not ideal, going to the Internet is the apparent choice.

My suggestion is to find a dating website that focuses on Christian Dating so that you know that the matches you get are Christian Singles. It is disappointing to see you have a match only to find out they have no interest in the Lord. The bible does state not to be yoked together with unbelievers so it is important to restrict your dating pool to other Christians. Obviously, befriending non-Christians is a good thing because you then have the opportunity to be a witness for Christ. But when it comes to giving your heart to someone else, you need to give it to someone who shares your belief and your faith. Hence, it is advisable to utilize a Christian Dating Website when beginning your online dating journey.

Once you find the right Christina dating site and being to create your profile, be honest. Be yourself. Take to heart the fact that you are special and unique and deserving to find happiness. Do you have your faults? Absolutely. We all do. We all have things about ourselves that we wish we could change and if there is something that you want to change about yourself..something that you want to work on...go for it. But don't hide who you are by trying to stuff yourself into someone else's ideal. Putting yourself out there is scary. Rejection is difficult to take but you can't look at rejection as you being rejected. You need to change your perspective. If someone does not or can not relate to you or make a connection with you...they aren't someone that you want to waste your time with. You move on and consider that you are one more person closer to finding that one individual who you can build a life with.

Are you guaranteed love? None of us are. But we all deserve a chance at having a fulfilling, loving relationship and there is nothing wrong in trying to jump-start the search by taking the step toward online Christian dating.

But I offer a word of caution. Don't put too much pressure on yourself and your date as you embark on the dating journey. A date is just a date. Don't go into a date with expectations that this person is going to be "The One". Just enjoy the night out. Enjoy the date at face value. Taking a more laid back attitude toward dating can help ease a lot of the unnecessary tension and stress that can come from dating. Dating can be fun. Enjoy the new experiences. Enjoy the company, the movie or the dinner. At the end of the day, if there is a connection there will be another date. If there isn't....then at least you got a good meal and you move on. A little self-confidence and perspective can go a long way toward success in dating.

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